Knocking Yourself Up

I believe that if a woman is 30-40 and financially independent and not just getting by, and she has not met Mr. Right then "Knocking Herself Up" would not be a bad idea. If she really wanted a child badly enought to go through a sperm back donor to find a good, health prospect instead of just some random guy then the child has a pretty fair chance. Have any of you thought that the other reason women are choosing to become single mothers is because they are afraid of their children being molested or raped by their father. How many children, teens, and women have been molested or raped and have gone public with it? How many more are not saying anything?! Do you realize the mental effect this has on women? That could play a major factor in why they do not want to have a father in the the house?

Too much commitment to work on a relationship so instant gratification ( thats what drug addiction is all about getting instantly satisfied) why worry about a relationship just go to the sperm bank. What kind of relationship are they going to have with the child- no frills attached. Iam not looking from the religious stand point but are we not messing with nature. It is not easy with the lucritive nature of relationships these days but we are responsible in contributing to the insecurtiy with in relationships these days.

It's all easy for you, isn't it Dford?

When i say his most prized possession, i DONT mean he owns her, it's just you are the most precious thing to him. Possession is the wrong word. When a man thinks of a wife, these are some of the thoughts that come to mind...

This is a wonderful idea. As a taxpayer, I am absolutely thrilled by the idea of another child placed in a state sponsored after school day care until mom gets done with her running around for the day and finally has time to pick up her child from work at 6pm. This is followed the next morning by their sweet precious child going to school and hanging out at the same state sponsored program for single mothers so mom can run to work after stopping off for her Starbucks. Fortunately, the child will ha ve a peer group to grow up with before and after school since mom won't have anytime to teach their child the right and wrong of the world. She will be oh so busy climbing the corporate ladder, but at least she will have a child for "arm candy" when she is out with all the other single moms complaining aout how hard it is trying to raise a child, have a career and maybe one day some time to themselves.
If you want to go it alone power to you. But please make sure you can pick up the tab for your experiment first, I'm tired of forking over more and more of my paycheck so everyone else can act out their little fantasy.

I'm a single mother-(not by choice-I'm divorced) and when I was married and had my son, I still felt like a single mother. I think more woman are probably opting to have children alone because 9 times out of 10, that is how it ends up. Men are not stepping up to the plate like they once did before and I sometimes feel that its like that because women make it easy for them to do so.

Making the perfect child with a Turkey Baster? Wow! Next thing you know, these wealthy independent women will start a campaign for cloning the perfect man... Spooky Thoughts... very Spooky...lol

I totaly understand these women ! Im one of them ! about two years ago I bought some sperm had invitro done and was wishing to get pregnant. I did it three times but it didnt happen. After the holidays I doing it again. Im 33 and Im not waiting for "Mr. Right " to have kids..lol I"ll be 80 if he ever shows up and what then ? lol Sonia Stockton,Ca

My feelings on this issue are in the middle. Having children are a blessings, yes this is true and even having children with that someone you love-man or woman is even more special. To me it de[ends on the woman and the situation that she is in. Like my mother for an example, she had three children before she even graduated from high school, however, she graduated top of her class and, continued on to Spelman College and even went greek. Afterwards she became married,and had two more children. Unfortuantly her marriag to her ex-hasband was cut short due to the fact that he was abusing her, and that is the only reason why she is a single mother. Even though I am nineteen; I have beat the odds that were discussed in this arctile-they are true though. I became the first african-American female to become valendictorian at my high school in history, I have no children, I am a sophmore at a four year college and I have a grade point average of a 3.75. So I'm here to say that just because you come from a single family home doesn't mean you should only get second best- I made it and my mother is very proud. i respect any and every woman that is independent and bold enough to raise children on her own cause that takes time, patience and love-real love; it may not be coming from a mom and a dad, two moms or even two fathers but its better than none right?

Making the perfect child with a Turkey Baster? Wow! Next thing you know, these wealthy independent women will start a campaign for cloning the perfect man... Spooky Thoughts... very Spooky...lol

MEN ARE USELESS WITH OR WITHOUT A CHILD, ALL THESE YEARS SOCIETY HAS BELIEVED THAT MEN SHOULD MAKE THE MONEY AND WOMAN SHOULD RAISE THE CHILDREN, WHEN A MAN LEFT HIS WIFE AND SHE HAD TO RAISE HER CHILDREN BY HERSELF IT WAS OK BUT NOW THAT WE REALIZE A WOMAN IS CAPABLE OF DOING IT ALL HERSELF, WHICH SHE HAS KNOWN ALL ALONG, ITS NOT OK. GIVE ME A BREAK. GET OVER YOURSELVES AS MEN AND GROW UP, WE'VE BEEN JUST FINE WITHOUT YOU ALL ALONG AND OUR CHILDREN WILL BE TO IF ITS THE LAST THING WE DO.

Coming from a single parent home, I have always felt differently, I grew up idolizing my mother and all she did for her children. I am now a very empowered and independent 24 years old single, hardworking ,professional young woman who definatly wants to have children in a few years. I do not have a significant other right now, I did, but we wanted different things in life. It is a hilarious notion that someone thinks that if they (being single women) cannot commit to a man that they could not commit to being a parent. The HUGE difference in that comparison is that your child will be your child forever, and in the end a man is just a man.

Well ladies..unless your getting knocked up with alien dna guess what... You certainly do need a man to have a baby. Its just sad that alot of women think somehow they can be both parents. I can understand the point of some that alot of guys are losers and they dont wanna be dads, But I will also say that just because you can have a baby this way doesnt mean you should. Try thinking of the childs best interest instead of your own wants and so called needs. Its one thing if your put in the position of single motherhood by no fault of your own. Its quite another to force it down the kids throat.

Children being raised by single parents isn't the reason our children are the way they are, THIS IS. Look at all of you judging each and everyone for their choices they are making with their life. Granted, we don't all make the right choice all the time, but we learn from our mistakes and those of us that are fortunate, we have great friends that will be their to pick us up after we make a mistake. Don't judge others unless you too want to be judged. We all have our reasons for each thing that we do and the guy/gal next to us has no right to judge. We are all individuals with individual minds, use your mind and do what you feel is right for you.

I think that anyone who says they know "what's best for every child" is as arrogant as it gets. it is true that a mother and a father contribute very different and important things for their children and in my opinion both are equally important in a two parent household. BUT, a single woman or man can raise a child and give that child the most important things they require: love, support, encouragement and the necessities of life. I have a husband and a child so i guess by most of your standards I am doing this the "right way". But what if my husband worked nights and only saw or interacted with his child on Saturdays...what if my husband was just one of those guys who don't relate to children? (and there are a lot of them out there) I believe that good male role models, where not the same as a Father, can provide the male perspective for a child. This is why it is important for our schools to keep good male teachers.

Also, unless you are a woman yourself you have no idea what the desire for a baby is to a woman. Men may want children but keep in mind we are, after all, animals and the female of the species has a desire to have offspring. (most of us, anyways) One wonderful parent is worth a thousand bad ones. Any child is lucky to have a parent who loves, wants and cares for them. Even if is only ONE parent.

My feelings on this issue are in the middle. Having children are a blessings, yes this is true and even having children with that someone you love-man or woman is even more special. To me it de[ends on the woman and the situation that she is in. Like my mother for an example, she had three children before she even graduated from high school, however, she graduated top of her class and, continued on to Spelman College and even went greek. Afterwards she became married,and had two more children. Unfortuantly her marriag to her ex-hasband was cut short due to the fact that he was abusing her, and that is the only reason why she is a single mother. Even though I am nineteen; I have beat the odds that were discussed in this arctile-they are true though. I became the first african-American female to become valendictorian at my high school in history, I have no children, I am a sophmore at a four year college and I have a grade point average of a 3.75. So I'm here to say that just because you come from a single family home doesn't mean you should only get second best- I made it and my mother is very proud. i respect any and every woman that is independent and bold enough to raise children on her own cause that takes time, patience and love-real love; it may not be coming from a mom and a dad, two moms or even two fathers but its better than none right?

This is nothing but another selfish move by certain women in this society who think men have no value except as sperm donors and financial providers. Get over yourselves ladies. The statistics clearly state that kids with fathers are far better off and always will be. You are in denial!

I think that anyone who says they know "what's best for every child" is as arrogant as it gets. it is true that a mother and a father contribute very different and important things for their children and in my opinion both are equally important in a two parent household. BUT, a single woman or man can raise a child and give that child the most important things they require: love, support, encouragement and the necessities of life. I have a husband and a child so i guess by most of your standards I am doing this the "right way". But what if my husband worked nights and only saw or interacted with his child on Saturdays...what if my husband was just one of those guys who don't relate to children? (and there are a lot of them out there) I believe that good male role models, where not the same as a Father, can provide the male perspective for a child. This is why it is important for our schools to keep good male teachers.

Also, unless you are a woman yourself you have no idea what the desire for a baby is to a woman. Men may want children but keep in mind we are, after all, animals and the female of the species has a desire to have offspring. (most of us, anyways) One wonderful parent is worth a thousand bad ones. Any child is lucky to have a parent who loves, wants and cares for them. Even if is only ONE parent.

kfillmore, the first instances of single motherhood had nothing to do with the choice of the mother to be a single mom. It's a much different situation with a mother chooses to make her child fatherless. If someone loses something by accident or through no fault of their own, it's somehow easier to deal with than someone deliberately taking something away. If you don't believe me, talk to the child whose dad died from a stroke or heart attack and then talk to the child whose dad was murdered. You'll soon see how each incident affected the surviving children's psyche.