Knocking Yourself Up

I love the idea. I have already planned on going that way if things don't turn around for me. I am 29, have been married to a woman. We were supposed to do the family thing but WE didn't work out. So I have spem sitting in the bank waiting to be used. I know the responsibility of a family as I was a nanny when I was younger. I'm not going to go "Knock myself Up" tomorrow, but I have weighed the pros and cons and have started making moves in my career that would allow for a baby. It's in the near future...

I am amazed by how ignorant most people are. Those who say that it's not God's plan assume that God is standing by idly watching going, "now what do I do, I didn't see this coming." A child is a blessing from God, regardless of if it's to a single parent or to a family with Mom and Dad. Yes, mom and dad would be the ideal, but we are humans and selfish people and regardless of the child many times we chose our needs and wants over that child. Instead of browbeating single moms, how about giving them words of encouragement, and thus ensuring that they also give words of encouragement to their children.

It seems like everyone is blaming the kids and placing labels on them. For you who are sociologist or psychologist, did they teach you anything in those Universities about labeling children and how it affects their development. I really would hate to be part of your study, I could tell right now the data would be skewed.

For you single women who want to have children, it's a natural instinct. I do understand the urge, and it's still your choice, however those of you who so desire a child should also think about adoption. Either way, I say love that child to the best of your ability and teach them not to be so close minded as some of these people out here.

For those of you living in the past, I assume you don't use microwaves, use medicine or anything. No things may not always head in the direction that we want it to, but dare we sit down cross our arms and legs and pout like children, blame everyone, and wish for the good old days. Grow up and get a life, I assume that your are part of the privilidge who never had to work hard to accomplish anything because it was a given.

Ok, for the men who see this as a way to start bashing women. How about you listen beyond what was written to what women are actually saying. Women are unwilling to accept a half of something because its either that or nothing. Teach your sons about respect, how to treat a woman etc, etc., instead of teaching him oh, yeah son sports, go for the goal and women come a dime a dozen. If your son sees you cheating, or treating women badly he may duplicate your behavior. Women this goes for you too about how you speak about men around your daughters. These negative images play such an important role in a childs development and future success in a relationship that we really shouldn't neglect this.

Finally, to those guys who say a girl is looking for Mr. Right and her standards is too high. Well maybe you should check what your standards are for a woman. On either side we need to step up to the plate and be the men and women that God created us to be or just don't step at all.

Those of you without sin, cast the first stone.

Dear heathernoel888: You need to wake up, sweetie, and stop looking at everything so negatively. I don't have a father in my life who cares anything about being in my life, but I don't let that get me down. You know why? I have a wonderful Mother who loves me and supports me in everything I do. Does it makes me sad when I'm at a wedding and witness the father/daughter dance or walking down the isle? Sure it does...it makes me sad to know that I have a father out there who cares nothing about me. It makes me sad for "what could have been". I don't need my dad to walk me down the isle - I have my mom, or my grandpa. I think if a child is brought into this world willingly, with love and by a single woman - they won't grow up realizing that they have missed out on anything, they'll only know the wonderful parent that they have in their life. They might question it later in life, but I think that it will be less difficult. I think it's harder when you grow up and your Dad leaves and your always asking "Why doesn't he want me?" and "Aren't I good enough?". I'm almost thirty, single and thought I would be married by now with children. That hasn't happened for me. I'm hopeful that it will, but if it doesn't? I may take the same avenue that a lot of single women choose. I deserve to be happy and have a family, just like everyone else, even if I don't have a man in my life.

obviously this is the next new phase of our society, we hear talk and preaching for love and care for our neibors and family, but, do we really care all these simple feelings that are a main natural instinct in living a healty life, having a family, we are constanly fighting it and for some people just ignor it. we have to remember that the family life is what our genaration was based on. But then some smart schoiar wrote a book and convinced a lot of people to look out for number one and number one only, well if you want to have child just because you feel alone and maybe havent felt like comitting to a relationship, what makes them think that they can commit too being a good single parent. to me it sounds like, this one can't get away, I made it, or did they, remember theres a reson for the male sperm even in todays reseachs, thats the starting point. good luck

My comment is towards jruttle, first off learn to spell the word women before you use it. Second, women don't need men just as men don't need women, we should be here to compliment each other, not compete against each other. Each gender has something to offer the other in experience and opinions. Gender roles shouldn't be in competition with each other. If these women choose to be a single mom, go for it I say. It is no different than getting married, having children and then divorcing. You are a single parent then, what is the different. Not everyone finds their soul mate and motherhood is a natural instinct for most women and that is the difference between men and women. Why can't men and women just get along and share their experiences instead of trying to out do each other.

I don't think wemon should just go out and get pregnant just because they can't find a man. I have been a single mom and it is so much harder. My husband is not perfect but who is? Children need both a mother and a father.

I believe after raising 4 children 3 girls and 1 boy it is very difficult for women to raise children alone.Boys need their fathers to show them things that women can not. Women can do the best they can but making a boy a man is not our job and there are experiences we have not had or can never have to share with them.Girls also need their fathers or they will be searching all their lives to find him through other men.My children turned out fine but it was difficult they all have good jobs are educated but it was very difficult and you don't know until they grow up and you see the out come.My son still has anger issues but he does his best to mask it. I just think it is better to have both parents.Mycheal

Mr.Right? Come on! Life is not a "fairy tale". There is no Snow White or Prince Charming and never will be. doesnt mean you cant find someone who is decent and MAKE it work. Stop being so selfish and try to live for others. Then maybe you wont be so miserable. and if you do want a baby, at least have intercorse with a person and enjoy that also but dont be crying for support. or adopt a child who doesnt HAVE PARENTS. Nothing but selfish and ingornant people that ruin this once great nation.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I would suggest that until you've actually been the 37 to 40 something year old woman who has tried to find a partner without luck (and not for the lack of trying), and have found yourself at the age when natural decline is happening in your body and you still havent had a child....then maybe you should rethink slamming other's choices. Because really, it's not your choice -- it's theirs. And regardless to what you think, a woman, such as I am, who is college educated, financially independent, who is 37 and is still partner-less and child-less--You have NO IDEA what it's like to want so badly to be a wife or parent and finding yourself alone. You can't make another person marry you to have children. There are too many ethical reasons why trapping a man is WRONG. And, if I have a choice to do it on my own then so be it, I will, without your permission. I, like many other women out there, want to experiance childbirth for myself, and yes it is selfish to want that, but who gives you the right to judge? If I have the means and the support to do it on my own, after waiting 17 years to get married to the right man, but for whatever reason it didn't work then it is MY CHOICE to use a local sperm donor.

Simple minded men seem to forget, that when they make a choice to leave their wife and children for the other "grass is greener" woman....they infact leave their ex-parnter as a SINGLE MOTHER, regardless to just how involved they are as a father on their twice monthly weekend visits and the one day a week they might have their kids. Don't kid yourself, DIVORCE scars children too.

It's all about choices people. You have your choices and single women who choice to go to the local sperm bank have their own choices. Walk a mile in someone else shoes before you cast judgement.

Wow???it all breaks down to good parents, two, make good kids, who grow up to be good parents themselves. Any woman who is over 25 and still thinks there are no good men out there needs to come to grips with the fact that it???s you???you are the problem. I have a 16 month old son and another on the way. My father is an amazing man who without his love and influence in my life, I would not have become the man I am today. Granted, those mother???s widowed have a completely different set of struggles and my heart goes out to them. But for those mothers, who choose single parenthood, know this from a father and son???THERE IS NOTHING YOU ARE CAPABLE OF DOING THAT WILL MAKE UP FOR NOT HAVING THE FATHER FIGURE IN YOUR CHILD???S LIFE. No matter how much you love and teach your son about the world and life, he will always wonder who his father is, what it means to be a good father himself, and most importantly, what it means to be a good man. And for those who have daughters, a father teaches his daughter the invaluable lessons about men, and gives them the kind of positive reinforcement about men they need to find a good loving man in their life. There is so much more to Mother Nature???s design around the creation of life then the simple fact that it takes an egg and sperm. Father???s are an irreplaceable piece of the pie, scientifically and psychologically.

I think it's crazy. Where do these women find time to raise a child alone? Holding down a job presumably, full responsibility for keeping and maintaining a home etc, etc, etc.

I love this article! I personally am thinking about this if by the age of 35 I do not find Mr. Right. I believe the ability for a woman to give birth is a gift and we should take advantage of it. Have the experience at least once in our lifetime. If you everything is in place, why not.

I think that a woman should have her choice. Today's life is completely different from that of the 1950's and 1960's. Today it is ok to have a child out of wedlock, many choose that way. If a woman wants to have a baby, it should be her decision and no one elses. She should not be critized for it either. Mr. Right can be hard to find and sometimes you just do not feel waiting around for this Mr. Right to come along. If I wanted to go to a sperm bank and have a child that way, I would, regardless of what anyone thinks or says.

Wow, there are an awful lot of self-righteous, judgmental, intolerant, postings here! First of all, ???making??? a baby does not automatically make a man a good father. Second, none of us have a crystal ball to let us know how the man we marry is going to turn out. (And before I hear from the peanut gallery out there, yes, I know that all too often some women overlook obvious signs that a guy is no good, but I???ve also seen wayyyyy too many women duped by ???the greatest guy in the world??? who turns out to be a real screw up once the ring is on the finger). And third, do you really believe that it is better to rear a child in the hateful, resentful environment that some couples create, rather than in the loving, supportive environment that one parent can provide? I???m not saying that all couples create horrible situations, but what I am saying is that a singular, person who is loving, compassionate and supportive, can provide just as good a home for a child, as a loving two parent household can. Lighten up folks cause some of you sound as though what you???re saying is a bad father is better than no father at all; and that my dear folk, is just plain ignorant.

We probably wouldn???t be having this discussion at all if men were willing to step up to the plate as husbands and fathers.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I would suggest that until you've been the 37 to 40 something year old woman who has tried to find a partner without luck (and not for the lack of trying), and have found yourself at the age when natural decline is happening in your body and you still havent had a child....then maybe you should rethink slamming other's choices. Because really, it's not your choice -- it's theirs. And regardless to what you think, a woman, such as I am, who is college educated, financially independent, who is 37 and is still partner-less and child-less--You have NO IDEA what it's like to want so badly to be a wife or parent and finding yourself alone. You can't make another person marry you to have children. There are too many ethical reasons why trapping a man is WRONG. And, if I have a choice to do it on my own then so be it, I will, without your permission. I, like many other women out there, want to experiance childbirth for myself, and yes it is selfish to want that, but who gives you the right to judge? If I have the means and the support to do it on my own, after waiting 17 years to get married to the right man, but for whatever reason it didn't work then it is MY CHOICE to use a local sperm donor.

Simple minded men seem to forget, that when they make a choice to leave their wife and children for the other "grass is greener" woman....they infact leave their ex-parnter as a SINGLE MOTHER, regardless to just how involved they are as a father on their twice monthly weekend visits and the one day a week they might have their kids. Don't kid yourself, DIVORCE scars children too.

It's all about choices people. You have your choices and single women who choice to go to the local sperm bank have their own choices. Walk a mile in someone else shoes before you cast judgement.

A child born into a two Parent family has a hard enough time living that life and all it can bring. A child born with no father is a bastard. A woman who knowingly choses to bring this child into this world is very selfish. Adopt a child instead.

If Mr. Right is no where to be found when you are financially and emotionally stable to have a child; then go for it. Maybe Mr. Right will come later when it would be to late to have children. As far as the comment about if the mother passes away... That can happen in any family, I lost my parents in a car accident when I was 6. My grandparents had already passed so I was raised by a friend of the family. Life is never fair. I don't think its selfish. There is always the option of adopting too; which is personally the route I would talke since there is a lot of youth in need out there. If you have what it takes to provide/give back wheather it be knocking yourself up or adopting then I'm 100 % for it.