Knocking Yourself Up

they aren't saying that there are no good men out there... they are saying that they either aren't into men (lesbians) or they havent found the right man yet. Women don't have until the day they die to decide to reproduce like men do. They are on a tighter timeline to have children. Therefore, all of you who THINK you have the answers for these women, are wrong. Let the women decide.

To adrianasfv; Don't discriminate against me because of my sexual preference, its because of people like you that people aren't more sensitive and understanding. Go to Iran or something if you want to discriminate. By the way, who said I was raised by a mom?

It is so easy to be judgmental when you yourself are not in the situation. I am a single mother: African American of Hispanic heritage. I have a beautiful five year old who is intelligent, well mannered, well rounded and will have all of the benefits that my B.A., M.A., and J.D. can provide. I am an attorney. My mother did everything the right way. She married in her 30s to an older man, waited three years or so to get pregnant and ended up raising me by herself anyway. I decided that I would not be a slave to the time clocks and egos of other men intimidated by my accomplishments. I have dated men from every tier of the social and economic strata and all of them have the same short coming??????you don???t need a man, so I have nothing to offer you.??? Not my words theirs.

A lot of these women face the same dilemma that I did???I went to all of the right schools, graduated, am successful, I have the money to do as I like, but I cannot find a male companion who can suck it up and accept that I might make more money than he will. I don???t blame any of those women. And for those of you who feel that adoption is the better way to go, why should I forego the joy and blessing of pregnancy and child birth? It???s my choice and if I can do it be damned with anyone who doesn???t agree.

I went the traditional route - got married, got pregnant, had my babies...and then got tired of raising my husband who acted more like a child than our 6-year-old. I became a single mother after I divorced him. He was never there for our children, before or after the divorce, so his input - or lack thereof - was never a real issue for our kids. They're all grown with children of their own. Two parents are nice, but really, all a child needs to grow up well and healthy is ONE parent who is committed to being there 24/7, be it mom OR dad.

I am single parent of a 23 year old son. If I were to have to do it all over again I definitely would do things differently for the sake of my son. However my son was a well adjusted kid he was in a gt program through out his elementary, junior high and high school years. He did ask about his father growing up and I was honest and forth coming with all answers. Now I proud to say he is a well adjusted U.S. Marine. So for those of you who say that a father makes a big difference in a child's life I dont believe that is always the truth.

Selfish! Can anyone say selfish anymore? Just because you can, does that mean you should? You would think that we were in a "lack of males in the species" crisis. I can just hear it from the females around the world -- "I want my baby and don't want to deal with a man." "I want my cake and eat it, too." We are not in a fertility crisis as in the SciFi movie "A Boy and His Dog." Well, not yet. Yes, of course a woman of intelligence and means can nurture and provide for a child. On purpose? That's not right. Selfish! Wow, this sure gets around those in-law problems. Selfish! Anytime she wants, the mother can have the child all to herself. Sorry, Uncle Jim, I appreciate your help the last 5 years, but I've got it from here. After all, he's in school now, there's all kind of guys at the soccer league that will give our Alex some strong male guidance.

I think it's rather selfish of a woman to want to be a single Mom. Life is hard enough for a kid born of two Parents, a kid with an unknown father is a bastard. A woman who does this knowingly is cruel and selfish.

I don't think "knocking yourself up" is such a terrible thing. Obviously, a woman whom decides to do be a single mother has thought it throught and if she hasn't then she should. Being a parent is a enormous responsibility and changes your life. Although I am still young, I plan to get married within at about 7 years, but thats just a plan. Things don't always go as planned; what if i don't find someone to marry by the time I'm 40-something and all my eggs dried up? Then what? my want to be a mother are just supposed to fade away? A woman should be allowed to knock herself up, but if it were me i would consider adoption first since there are already many children out there looking for a parent. even then, adoption is tricky; its important to make a connection with a child before adopting them. if a women [or hell, if a MAN] can't find a child they make a connection with then its like not finding a spouse and you inseminate yourself. these women should not be criticized. its not our place to judge. i have grown up all my life with two loving parents that not only love their kids but each other too [which is rare these days] and have been friends with people that have single parents and have ended up better than me. women or men seeking to be single parents just please think it through first, its an enormous challenge, if you're up for it - then my hat's off to you!

I think that single motherhood for those independant women who just havent found their "man" is empowering. I like the idea that we dont need some man to have completly full and happy lives. To be honest, if you look at the men we have to choose from these days, I would say that the child is almost better off being raised by a single, loving mother. In my opinion,it is more common to have a messed up two parent childhood these days. With all the domestic abuse and the ever rising divorce rate the child might actually have the chance to live a peacefull happy life with ONE committed parent.

My comment is to jruttle, first off learn to spell the word women before you use it and second, women don't need men just like men don't need women. If you were true to yourself, you wouldn't feel threatened by a woman's choice. Men and women should compliment each other, not need each other. It is hard to find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and if a woman wants to become a single mom, go for it. It is no different than getting married, having children and then divorcing, you are a single parent then also. Role gender should not be a competition. We are here to share our experiences and differences, not compare them.

Jen4pres0623.. Amen.

hahah lightning you must be catholic !! haha i'm sorry !

I think the whole idea is ridiculous. For one, Prince Charming hasn't showed up yet because you haven't allowed it, (I know plenty of single men, in all ages and places in their lives) and for two, think to twenty years down the road when the child wants to know who the father is. Every Lifetime movie will have a similar plot, and the poor child's feelings about where they came from will be crushed. Would you really want to say, "I was worth the few thousand my father got paid to leave me at a bank, put me in my mother, and live without a father, all over a few bucks?" Hate to tell y'all, but the thousands that people are getting paid nowadays will look like fifty cents when the children grow up and realize what took place. If someone wants a child that bad, take in a foster child that doesn't have a place to live. It would be a better story to tell than, "Mommy got sick of waiting, so you don't have a daddy."

I am a single seperated mother of two and I'm alone due to my own choice. But the choice was based off the immaturity level of my husband. Not to say all men are created equal in that sense. I have played with the idea of a second marriage due to the fact that my children are very young and it's not easy doing it alone. But I don't see any severe damage being done to my children(believe me they are a lot more resilent then we think) some days I would rather have someone there to help me and other days I'm okay. If you really look at what's being offered nowadays marriage doesn't look so tempting. When there's a law passed that states in order for a women to bear and bring up a child she has to have a husband I say to each his own.

I'm a single mom, but not by choice. If I could change anything for my son, it would be that his dad is here for him. The biggest problem we have is that my son has severe mental illness. With no father around to help, I am having a very hard time. A step- dad or uncle or grandpa can't give the same things a father does. This makes irt even harder. I think to intentionally have a child with no father is the most selfish act anyone can do. The child will never know the love only "Daddy" can give. I'm a Daddy's girl (at age 45) and it hurts me more than anything that my son can't ever know that love, this makes his disability that much worse. Oh, in case you're wondering, I'm an intellegent, educated woman.

It is so easy to be judgmental when you yourself are not in the situation. I am a single mother: African American of Hispanic heritage. I have a beautiful five year old who is intelligent, well mannered, well rounded and will have all of the benefits that my B.A., M.A., and J.D. can provide. I am an attorney. My mother did everything the right way. She married in her 30s to an older man, waited three years or so to get pregnant and ended up raising me by herself anyway. I decided that I would not be a slave to the time clocks and egos of other men intimidated by my accomplishments. I have dated men from every tier of the social and economic strata and all of them have the same short coming??????you don???t need a man, so I have nothing to offer you.??? Not my words theirs.

A lot of these women face the same dilemma that I did???I went to all of the right schools, graduated, am successful, I have the money to do as I like, but I cannot find a male companion who can suck it up and accept that I might make more money than he will. I don???t blame any of those women. And for those of you who feel that adoption is the better way to go, why should I forego the joy and blessing of pregnancy and child birth? It???s my choice and if I can do it be damned with anyone who doesn???t agree.

Go for it.... One loving parent is worth a daycare filled with parents who could care less.
Some of the guys I know have the personalities of Turkey Baisters and would make about as good a parent.

What matters most in the development of any one of us is knowing we are wanted and loved along the way. PERIOD. This social debate only serves to leave the less secure among us with a question mark. Every child born into this world deserves to know it is wanted and loved and for that reason alone the child is NORMAL. IT IS THE PARENT OF ANY UNWANTED CHILD THAT IS THE REAL PROBLEM.

I have to say that I have been the married woman with kids, then the single mother with kids(because dad didn't want to deal with the responsibility of the kids), and now I am to become again the married woman with kids. I have seen the effect that the absensce of a father can have on kids. But I have also seen the effects that having a bad father can have too. Either way there will be some consequences to our actions. The only thing that should be of great concern to these women is : how will this affect the children? Are we thinking of the kids or just our selfish desires? If we are to busy in our careers to find a healthy mate, then won't we be to busy for the little one that we bring into this world? So again, what is best for the child?!!