Knocking Yourself Up

I think everyone is a bit confused about the situation at hand. For one I am all for the self-insemmation as there is not one single available Mr. Right in this world. You all may think ok she has to be gay for saying that, unfortunately everyone is too quick to assume. She has every right to know her own body and her own will in producing, making and having a baby. Just as much the same finding Mr. Right. Ok a career, independence and the responsibilites of being a parent. WOW! sounds all too cliche. If you had not read about ALL the single parents in this world then you pretty much lived in darkness. Women are just fed up with all the abuse, name-calling, you are not good for me, you are not a good mother, you dont satisfy me--hell what more can we do when we are already having 6x a night sex? you are too demanding, get off my back, stay way from me, that baby is not mine--you cheated on me...shoot you tell me about Single mothers how do they become single mothers/parents? well first their was this guy who said he make me his princess, he smothered me with his gifts of love, we decided to get married, we made passionate love and 9 months later my son came around. Ok 2 years into the marriage OMG he talks about needy his space, accusations of all sorts, infidelity plays a big part now he left me with my son. There you go a single mother/parent. Hmmm...men believe they need to be a part of their childrens lives or the shared responsibilites needs to be there. Then why not tell the men to perhaps think about these things before acting upon it. It takes two to make a baby then it takes two to raise a child. If one does not comply then well what the hell we have a world with single mothers/parent. IT is really funny how all comments project it as a being negative when she is only doing what she knows is right. All the unwanted children in this world are made up of all unwanted pregnancies or our men trying to tell us he was not ready to be a father and runs away. hmmm...so cliche is it not. When a female really wants to be a mother then let her make her choice in how she wants to make a child not what you see as it being so negative why not adopt? tell me have you adopted if you are so concerned about these unwanted children, why havent you adopted? just goes to show how many people in this world can be so ignorant. If a female knows and wants to have children and feels it within her heart that what she is about to do is right then let her do it. And if a man wants to leave his wife of 10 years well gosh leave her with the kids and he will find someone else and make more babies hmmm....but no one says nothing about it now do we, oh that is not so negative in this world. he is a man he knows what he is doing, right! when it comes to a women it is always she dont know what she is doing, it is all negative

Good for you! : ) keep it up, I'm sure your making your mom proud everyday.

After raising 4 children I think it is very difficult for the children when ther father is not there. Now these days it is easyer because of all the unwed mothersbut it isstill difficult. I do not believe women can raise boys to be men. We do the best we can but we are not men and don't know all that they experience.i believe it is easier for women but stilll girls are always searching for a mans approval when they don't have one around.

um, ericamarie1207.....Hate to break it to you, but you dont need to lump all Christians into one mold. We dont all fit. I am a Christian and I personally would have fostered, adopted or done something if I had not found my Mr. Right first. I agree it is no one else's business if a woman gets pregnant at a sperm bank. And to be honest, a woman who wants a child of her own runs less risk of getting STDs than the...err, shall we say "traditional" method. If something happened to my husband, God forbid, I would be a single parent in need of a daycare because he is not only a great dad in general, he loves taking care of our little man during the day. Some women want someone to come home to that loves to talk and interact with them, and they want someone on 2 legs that will eventually be able to talk to them and dont want a hassle of a divorce if they find Mr. Wrong. Yes, I am blessed beyond all reason, but not all of us condemn women who choose another route to have a child. Its the having premarital sex that I actually have a problem with because of what the Bible says. And yes, me and my husband were both virgins on our wedding night. And as a kid, I more than once wished my mom would divorce my dad, because they fought and my dad was very verbally abusive to both of us. But he was put in the nursing home at the best time (he was 52 when i was born and my mom was 34....) when he was diagnosed with Alzheimers. So, I was pretty much raised the rest of the time by a single parent.

Perhaps it should be mentioned for those that think women aren't doing all they can to find a man...statistically speaking, there are more women than men per capita: some areas have marginal differences while others have vast differences (research it).

I mention this because I've seen it commented that women will not find mates because they are independent, financially successful, and busy with a career.

Well, it's my thought that women are doing what they have to do to maintain a worthy existence while they search this unbalanced ratio of available men, and vie for the attention of one or two good men for every six women.

What is the other option? Have a bunch of uneducated, unemployed women waiting around for a man to take care of them? Grown daughters living at home while they wait on their mate? Nonsense, I say.

While some people - men and women alike - enjoy continuous solitude, most of us desire the company of a true mate. However, that's not possible in every persons situation.

It's my contention that if all of this wasn't a part of God's plan, as some have said, then it wouldn't happen. And if it's not a part of his plan, let God reconcile that with individuals who choose IVF.

The bottom line is God provided us mortals with choices. It's up to the individual mortal to make the best choice for themselves. Free from judgement from other mere mortals.

The idea of being a single mom has crossed my mind several times. Being single and trying to find mr. right is a very hard thing to do. It's not easy out there and getting up in age you really need to thing out the whole child barrier situation. So what do you do, wait and wait and wait some more till you reach the age of infertility. I have giving myself a time frame and if mr.right doesn't come along, I would consider going to a donor.

I would think as an artificially inseminated parent it would be extremely painful to tell your child the story ofhow they came to be. Not only that, but a child who would be growing up without a father. That could cause a lot of hardship for a child. I'm pregnant with twins right now and I could never imagin my child growing up without a father or even trying to accomplish raising twins on my own as well.

I would argue AGAINST adoption personally. It is far more normal for any human to want to pass along their own genetic heritage than to choose to rear someone else's genetic heritage. So no, I will contiue to side with the women who want to get pregnant and raise a child that is their own!

As for adopting, I applaud those parents that choose this route, you are commendable in a strange, but very kind way.

If I had orgies with twenty people every weekend. Is that still my sexual preference and I should still be allowed to raise children in that home with my twenty orgy friend lovers? Just a thought, hey don't judge me just mind your own business and don't be concerned with what happens in your own back yard.

Thank you for taking the time and actually looking into this. I am a 39 single, straight female, pregnant and due to have my first child in less than 3 month. The support I have from my family, friends, co-workers and seriously, complete strangers (when they hear what I am doing) has been absolutely amazing. Do I want to be in a relationship??? Sure I do, but I am not going to sit around "waiting for Mr. Right" and let the years just pass me by, I was meant to be a mother and if I was meant to be married then that will happen too. There are plenty of single moms out there as well as single dads, and there are also a lot of "dead beat dads or moms" that have just walked away from situations. I am proud of the decission I have made and I am so excited to finally become a MOM.

If the gift of a child is understood and loved then I am all for that gift getting to all those who are willing to make the commitment to parenthood. All said and done the joys of who we are is that we can have opportunities to explore parenthood single or not. One loving parent is worth a daycare filled with parents who do not care. Go for it and do your best I think if we all did it would be a better world. Happy Dad of four

I think that if a woman wants to have a baby and Mr. Right has not come along then go for it. Its her choice to go to the sperm bank. If she wants a baby bad enough and is tired of waiting for Mr. Right then that's what she should do if that's what she wants.

Let's be real... there is nothing wrong with a woman who has not found Mr. Right, but wants a child anyway. 9 times out of 10 Mr. Right happens to be Mr. Right Now anyway, so whats the big deal. She's successful, can afford the cost of raising a child, instead of being a wellfare parent with 6 kids in the system. Trust me, growing up with barely knowing my father who was never around was much worse than not having one at all. More power to her! You can be a great parent without coming in a set!

Going to the sBank sounds like a good choice for the women who are financially and mentally independent (and who can't find the Mr. Right in their late 20s /30s).
This might be a step to free women from those traditional social pressures and career limits.
Maybe, for next step, women should have children without being pregnant themselves by having test tube
babies.

I am not bothered by women being single mothers. I am not bothered by lesbians giving birth. I don't think paternalistic so-called "family values" are necessarily a good thing. The thing that bothers me in the above article is that with the choices available, a woman could chose as the deciding factors ""a tall, handsome green-eyed actor (Favorite color: blue. Favorite pet: dogs)". Tall, handsome- okay, thats not so bad, children are will always have better chance in life if they are good-looking. Green-eyed, favorite color: blue- well, these are a little bit wasteful if you're limited on the number of characteristics you are allowed to choose, but at least there's no negative impact from the choice itself. Favorit pet: dogs- again, not bad except for the wastefulness factor, and maybe that is even more than balanced if mom has a dog. But the career choice frightens me immensely. Even if it said "successful actor", this would not imply anything of value about the father's character or abilities. Success in that career is notoriously random and rare. In addition, there is no guarantee that an actor would be above the bottom third of the intellectual genetic sampling (witness Mel Gibson). I would hope that the ability to choose from a wide variety of donors without having to be heavily influenced by appearance would steer towards health and intelligence, yet neither of these are implied by the choice of a tall handsome green-eyed actor who probably likes to watch "Blue's Clues" but doesn't necessarily understand it... Are we not men? We are DEVO!

Posted By: bikerdawg74 @ 11/02/2007 1:53:50 PM
Comment: Most of you single moms are about as easy as a one piece jig saw puzzle. Stupid choice after stupid choice. No real brains at all. You should just focus on sitting and looking pretty. Don't whine about deadbeat dads when YOU SLEPT WITH THEM! MORONS!!!

TO Bikerdawg - aren't you just the typical male - raising your hands up and not accepting responsibility. It's the womans fault for trusting a jerk who most likely misled them. In the end, having artificial insemenation is no different than having a relationship where the man walks out. Ether way, the child won't know the father. If the child grows up asking "who's my father?" I would rather tell them "via lab" than tell them it's so-and-so person only for the child to go find so-and-so person only to be told 'yeah I left b/c I didn't want you". That sounds like a risk worth taking.

As the child of a single mother, I can't wait to have my own child to continue the tradition. I had a very fortunate childhood, having all of my mom's attention, and learning from her experiences to a degree that wouldn't have been possible if she had divided her attention between me and a partner.

Growing up, I never felt deprived because I lacked a father; I took my life for granted as it was. I didn't miss having a father any more than a child would miss growing up without their own television if they had never had one.

I've had plenty of 'father figures' in my life, some of them more impressive than others. To be honest, after 36 years of living in this world and observing its male inhabitants, I think the odds that I would have had a great dad are not great. I've met caring, thoughtful, responsible men in my adult life, but they all seem to want tall white women with classically oval faces -- which effectively puts me out of the running!

I'm pretty (folks often say beautiful), height/weight proportionate, very intelligent, super friendly and good-natured, and hard-working; but I don't seem to attract much attention from men who would interest me. I do want to raise a child in my fantastic family culture and traditions, plus I love kids and would very much like to have one of my own.

All this adds up to choosing to raise a child on my own. Thinking of the varying circumstances that children grow up in all over this world, I think mine has a perfectly good chance of being very happy.

The most important aspect of this discussion is the child. Children come into the world in a variety of ways and meet a miriad of circumstances. Children can adapt well to many things. Though I believe that the best situation for any child, is to have both a mother and a father. I think it is short-sighted and selfish of women to choose to have a child without a spouse or partner. I also feel that if a woman wants a child so badly, and has the means for artificial insemination, then she should strongly consider adoption. Wouldn't it be better for those children who need a family to at least have a solid relationship with a mother-figure than have no concrete family at all? And wouldn't this allow a woman who so desires a mother-child relationship the opportunity to make a difference in the life of a child, without limiting the child's ability to know his/her origin? Being a mother is not all roses. As I am the proud mother of three boys, I do know the kind of commitment, love, support, strength, courage, empathy, and time it takes to care for children. If it were not for the support of my husband, raising my sons would be a much more difficult task. I feel for the children who's mothers choose to have them by artificial means, just to hand them over to someone else 10 to 12 hours each day to raise. Although I do work, I have as limited of a work schedule as possible so that I can be a large influence in the raising of my children. This would not be possible if my job were the sole income. And although some women are faced with raising their children alone due to the death of their spouse or their husband's lack of commitment, choosing this route is not well thought out.

paperweight...it's not that people don't care they just realize where the line is and to not cross it. It's not your place to judge others