Knocking Yourself Up

Statistically children not raised by both parents have those problems. Not EVERY child in the world is going to be at a disadvantage on an educational level because of it. You can deny your mental/emotional/spiritual damage from it all you want, but it doesn't make it go away.

I just want to say that my mom was 17 when she had me and it was not a choice that my mom and dad had planned. My mom finished high school through an alternative program, but never went to college. And as for my dad, he never wanted to be a part of my life. But that's not the point of this. I am 18 years old. I just graduated high school and am currently enrolled in college. I am also not pregnant. I don't think I have an advantage or a disadvantage over people who have single parents. I don't think there was anything I ever missed out on. Camping and fishing... those things you do with 'dads'... I did those with my friends and other family members. If anything, I think living and growing up in a single parent home with my mom, has made me a stronger person than anything. And the best part, I don't have to worry about my parents arguing, fighthing, or splitting up.

Women???I LOVE you! But please get over yourselves and all this feminist BS you are being brainwashed to believe in this weak society. Don't you realize that without all of the modern "technology" we have today, many of you would DIE during childbirth?? Doesn't that go to show you that sometimes your PURPOSE in life is more important than your OWN selfish little life? It also says that perhaps FATHERS may have the more important role in RAISING children than mothers, since by nature, it 's quite possible that a woman wouldn't be alive and around to do it. I know the concept of God is becoming increasingly foreign in today's world, but for those of us who are not so self-centered and still believe in something higher than ourselves we can look to nature as a living testimony to God's plan---regardless of "religion". How many eyes do you have? nostril, ears, arms, legs, feet, hands? TWO! Sure you could make do without one of them but the fact is this is not as efficient. From plants to animals, do you see any other form of life in nature artificially or spontaneously reproducing? No! BOTH mothers and fathers are needed to raise children BEST! Stop letting this alien society and shows like 'Sex in the City' dictate what???s appropriate. Stop being selfish! I want millions of dollars, but I'm not going to rob a bank to get it. If you find yourself a woman over 40 without a man, or you are a *** by birth or choice---perhaps having a child isn't in God's plan for you! Devote your life to some other worthy cause consider adopting.

Women cannot be criticized, regardless of economic or marital status, for wanting to have kids. It is a biological imperative that was programmed into them by nature. But, the direction the debate on social policy took that has created a society that now has abandoned the rules of engagement between the sexes, has left us with a new reality that now means that there is no longer a man for every woman and vice versa. The number of people, male or female, that will live there life never knowing the love of a spouse is growing so fast that, before 100 years have passed, those who experience love before they die will be in the minority.
Finding the "right partner" is half of the formula. Being the right partner is the other half of this equation. With all the rules of engagement thrown out the window over forty years ago, finding the "right partner", let alone knowing how to be the right partner, now becomes a formidable task that is becoming impossible to accomplish for an ever growing sector of our society. I think the biggest tragedy for many of the children of these one parent families will be watching their parent grow old and die alone never ever experiencing the love of a partner.

siillybillygirl made some great point lightning, but I guess it's truth that hurts the most huh?

As I was saying earlier, the Bible is only full of abusinve relationships and an evil god who's only ambition is for every human to be a slave to him. He's supposedly a single parent as well, kinda funny thought.

The truth is, we as human animals are constantly changing and evolving. Our society changes with us. If these women have the chance to raise families then more power to them. Same goes for anyone who is still alive thanks to antibiotics. Or anyone who has used cold medicine to feel better. Oh wait! You are playing god as well! Oh snap!

hristians is silly.

My sister-in-law is having a child outside of marriage. She states that she would rather be single than to deal with the disappointments that come with being married. She doesn't have to deal with being stuck in a relationship with someone who may not put up their share in the relationship or in child rearing. She says that most women bear most of the burden of child care anyways.

Being 35 years old and still single, I had a child out of wedlock at 25 (her "biological" father walked away). I would look into artificial insemination in a heart beat. I have even voiced that fact to my family and friends. By now, I figured I would be married with more children. Unfortunately, that has not happened. Not all of us choose to be single. It is just the cards we have been dealt.

Do any of you KNOW for certain what situation another person is in? You cannot compare one situation with another and cannot compare your situation (and opinions) with another. I believe that the reason society is on the downturn is NOT specifically locted in the fact that there are more divorced couples/single parents out there but the fact that if you truly think about it the downfall started long before many of us were adult enought o make the determination. We, as a society, strive and push for more, better, and faster that none of us seem to have taken a moment to actually see where we are going. So, the "new woman" wanting a child withpout having to deal with the ugliness that seems to be prevelant in today's relationships will more likely (provided she, herself is a stable and successful person) give a child a better home than one who came from a "whoops" situation. In any case, what would you tell a woman who tried her best to remain un-impregnanted but science failed her (be it the condom or pill) and she became pregnant. The father decided to not stay around. Would you become God and tell her she is not fit to have this child? Would you tell her to kill this child (and no, I am not pro or against abortion)? Would you tell this woman she cannot keep this child as she is single and put another child in a system so overwhelmed at this time it can't handle what's there? What would you tell the father of thsi child who refuses to acknowledge it? Let's get back to these ladies whpo want a child but are not in a relationship (for whatever reason, we may never know) and have been turned down for fostering (because they are single) or for adoption( because they are single). They believe they would make good parents and who are we to say they wouldn't? Who's to say a man can't adopt or foster? Would we then condemn those men who think they would be great parents but also are not in a relationship? Why is this argument so one sided? I did it the old fashioned way. I got married (late) and had a single child (late) and was left and divorced. I would love to have another child before I hit 40 (in a year). However, not having the money to go that route and unwilling to do this the old way, I would love to foster or adopt. Unfortunately they tell me I am not fit because I am single. OK, so it's better to keep the child in substandard living than give the child a chance in a decent household? There are so many factors in this type of argument that you really shouldn't (and I mean all sides) point fingers and make snap judgements. We are not God (I personally wouldn't want to be) and we are not going to change each others opinions just because we disagree. I see both sides and I can honestly say they are both right, and both very wrong.

We are all born into life to acheive our own goals.There is no evidence that we are all suppose to have a good career, find love, get married and have children. We are not given a rule book on our way down that sais this is what we must all do otherwise you are not living your life properly.As individuals we all have a journey we do the things we want to do and the things that feel right, if having a child conceived by a sperm doner is what we want and what feels right then who's right is it to tell us this is wrong.I was brought up in a single family with 2 sisiters and a brother, we are all successful in our careers and have achieved a great deal in life so far.Im 30 in January Im studying to be an accountant and yes I want children.My whole life was working out with my partner, we knew we wanted to both have good jobs, a nice house and eventually get married and have children. Unfortunately my partner died in September and all that was taken away from us. Im now left wondering what the future will bring, Ive always wanted children and want them before im 35 so sperm doner is an option for me,Im not going to wait around for my mr right becuase i already had and lost him, im going to take controll of my life and do the things that make me happy. The thought of bringing life into this world is a gift that is given to most women why should we not use that gift because of another person. Those of you who think people who want to conceive babies in different ways are mentally unstable, sad, selfish, irrisponsible and lonely, your entitled to your opinion but don't think that what you think makes any difference to us strong thinking,loving people.We live individual, we think individual and we do individual if we all lived our lives like you oh so perfect people, wouldn't the world be a boring place.

WHEN WILL YOU REALIZE THAT IF YOU DO ABNORMAL ACTIONS YOU WILL MEET WITH ABNORMAL RESULTS....

I do not care how many kids some broad wants to spit out in any manner but just do not expect me to pay for them in any manner especially if e go to nationalized health care. Why should i pay for you to get knocked up, spit the kid out then support the kid's health care too?

You can say that pythmus...go ahead...thats a cop out. That is exactly what I'm talking about when I talk about the attitude in modern America. Go to any online dating website and start looking at women's profiles. How many of them say they want a man who knows how to "treat a lady". A very large amount...I know....I've looked...but if i were to say that I want a woman who knows how to treat a man, I'd looked on as an oppressive bastard. 'Cause apparently It's now considered vogue to feel ashamed because I have a *** and actually go into a relationship with certian expectations on how I'm supposed to be treated. Why is that? Women do it. That is the whole definition of a shared relationship. A comprimise of what is expected out of each party. It sounds like the only people looking for "indentured servants" are modern american women and they whine when men don't play along. And before I anymore crying over "my last man did this.." and "my last man did that.." and "Good men are so hard to find..." blah blah blah, I'm gonna tell you my perspective on it. Good men are not hard to find....at all....they are everywhere....and completely universally rejected. That's your fault. Stop blaming it on us. I used to be that guy that could not get a date...by damn if I couldn't get a phone call at 3 in the morning to provide a caring ear to some chick who's boyfriend is treating like dirt....and you think that's a high school phenomenon? Please...that went on all the way into my mid 20's (and I've seen this phenomenon manifest itself in people even older too)...then I finally wised up....I finally was able to see what was going on. All these women, who at the time I would have, and most I even asked, dated in a heartbeat wanted the charaismatic, fun, bad-boy that they could screw and show off to their freinds...and then the cuddle-buddy that would fulfill their emotional needs and be a shoulder to cry on without any obligations. i was that other guy. That's called being manipulative...and myself, and alot of other guys, aren't doing it any more...and being that other guy, I'm now supposed to feel sorry for the female species because the great guy they chose isn't turning out to be all that great? No. No way...and as far as me...I'm looking for somebody who can appreciate me for what I am rather than reject me for what I am not...and if that means "out-sourcing" so to speak, now that I'm successfull and financially stable enough to do so...then so be it.

My sister-in-law is having a child outside of marriage. She states that she would rather be single than to deal with the disappointments that come with being married. She doesn't have to deal with being stuck in a relationship with someone who may not put up their share in the relationship or in child rearing. She says that most women bear most of the burden of child care anyways.

It is not about religion. A man's influence upon his children cannot be undrestimated. I have two children and I see the balance that is struck by having both a mother and a father under one roof. There are a lot of things I want in life that UI don't have because I understand that it is not about what I want, it is about what is right. In this case was is truly right for the children involved. People judge everyday. We judge in our court system, and in our social settings. Judging is the way that we as a society decide on what standards we will try and collectively uphold. It seems to em that you are passing judgement on "religious" people, as youn put it.

teddygrams78: Why do state that "most faiths most forms of birthcontrol"? Most faiths are also against premairital sex as well. Follow your faith all the way or don't follow it! And the pill is 98.7% effective, the not effective part is due to HUMAN ERROR! Like being to drunk to take your pill!

It is not about religion. A man's influence upon his children cannot be undrestimated. I have two children and I see the balance that is struck by having both a mother and a father under one roof. There are a lot of things I want in life that UI don't have because I understand that it is not about what I want, it is about what is right. In this case was is truly right for the children involved. People judge everyday. We judge in our court system, and in our social settings. Judging is the way that we as a society decide on what standards we will try and collectively uphold. It seems to em that you are passing judgement on "religious" people, as youn put it.

Being 35 years old and still single, I had a child out of wedlock at 25 (her "biological" father walked away). I would look into artificial insemination in a heart beat. I have even voiced that fact to my family and friends. By now, I figured I would be married with more children. Unfortunately, that has not happened. Not all of us choose to be single. It is just the cards we have been dealt.

I'm only 18 years old, but I grew up with no father around. It wasn't my choice, nor was it my mothers. He just walked out of our lives just like that. Left his 2 daughters, and his wife. My mom finally got divorced from him, going through a lot of trouble to do so. Leaving it just us 3. And you know what? Its really emotionally devastating when you are in 4th grade and the only kid with no dad for the father-daughter dance. Its making me upset just thinking about it now, and I'm out of high school, long past my 4th grade year. I'm sorry, but growing up without a father was really hard on me. I had friends that were "daddy's girl's", sat on their laps and watched tv, all those things. While I had to sit at home, sitting on the couch by myself watching my little sister, because my mom was working another double shift to prevent our water and electric from getting shut off. It was really hard on me with no dad. Really hard. I just wanted to comment to let everyone know what it was like from a kid's point of view. I suppose I'm still a kid at 18 years old. Truthfully, I think it is wrong to not wait. Women should wait to settle down with someone. Its better for everyone, I think. Sure, its the whole "I'm independent, I don't need to rely on a man". But why would you want to have a child all by yourself? Who is going to hold your hand during childbirth, saying "Sweetie, its going to be okay, I'm right here for you, we're having a baby, Isn't this exciting?" Do you just want your mom sitting there saying that? What about your dad? Your mom and dad, sitting there for you, while you have a father-less baby. Is that a little odd? What if you have a girl, and someday in the future, when she has a baby, she won't have her dad there for her. Because she has no idea who he is. And when she gets married, she won't have a father to give her away. You may not think much of it, but put yourself in those shoes. Hell, put yourself in my shoes. I have to walk down the aisle alone, because my dad chose to not be in my life. Why would you want to do that to your kid? What about if you have a son? Who is going to show him how to be a man? You? I don't know about you, but I know that I wouldn't want to have the sex talk with my mom if I was a guy. I just think if you do want to become a single mother, maybe you should think about whats best for your future baby too. Does no one search for love any more? That saddens me.

Come on people! 50% of all marriages end in divorce. What happens to the poor kids then. I am a gay woman in an 18yr relationship. We have two young children and guess what... we're happy and so are our kids. When I told one of my closet friends who happens to be straight, that my partner and I were going to have a child, she said that children need a father. Well she is now divorced and her 2 young boys get to

enjoy being shuffled back and forth between two households, endless fighting, bitterness and now there
parents dating other people. Because you have the ability to marry and proceate does not guarantee that
you will be a good parent and raise happy kids and sorry but there are quite a few men out there that are not
quite cut out to be fathers and only end up having kids because the woman in the marriage wants them.