Knocking Yourself Up

Dear: bikerdawg74 - some of us ARE single parents not by choice - some of our spouses die - fighting for our country so you have the right to run your mouth about something you have no idea about. We HAVE to put our children in daycare and go to work so that you won't complain about us being on welfare... Try and look at the glass as half full sometime... Wether we are single parents by death, "accident", or choice - we are still human... show a little respect.

I read alot of people talking about how men aren't stepping up to the plate, or men aren't coming along, etc. It just might be possible that women aren't finding the right men because they either aren't really looking or they aren't looking in the right places. (wham bamm thank you maam comes to mind here) There are plenty of men and women out there looking for someone 'right'. And they are willing to work through differences. Marriage takes a lot of work, but the result is truly a blessing. I think many would agree humans were designed to live as couples, with reproduction being a by-product of that natural process. If you truly want to find a spouse and have a family, then make the necessary adjustments to your lifestyle, attitude, etc. to make it happen. It's very likely you won't find it in your 'independent and financially successful career'. Unfortunately, many things in life require a sacrifice, and today's younger (yes, 30+ is still young) generations have taken a completely different path. What you're seeing now is a result of years of breakdown in family values, religious foundations, etc. (Yes I'm a religious nut!) I truly feel sorry for women that feel this is the only option for a family, unless of course they simply don't want to be married. That's another post altogether. There are good men out there, they just may not be where you think they are.

I just wanted to say... My mom had me when she was 17, she had to go to an alternative school to finish high school, and she did not go to college. She is a single parent. Both of my parents didn't want me, but that's not the point of this. I just want to say... I am now 18, just graduated from high school and am already in college. I don't think I have an advantage or disadvantage over my friends whom have been raised by both their parents. People always ask me... didn't you miss out on camping or learning to fish? And I say no, I went fishing with friends and camping with my family... I don't think having one parent is any different than having two except... I don't have to worry about both of my parents arguing.

It is not about religion. A man's influence upon his children cannot be undrestimated. I have two children and I see the balance that is struck by having both a mother and a father under one roof. There are a lot of things I want in life that UI don't have because I understand that it is not about what I want, it is about what is right. In this case was is truly right for the children involved. People judge everyday. We judge in our court system, and in our social settings. Judging is the way that we as a society decide on what standards we will try and collectively uphold. It seems to em that you are passing judgement on "religious" people, as youn put it.

You know so women decide to do it alone because of the simple fact that they don't like men, either from past or present experiences. If they want to have a child and can support that child then they should be able to have one. You can still have a healthy, and happy child if that is the enviroment that you raise them in. It is all dependant on how you raise them. It really is all dependant on the mother. As long as the child gets the attention they need, the right morals taught to them they will be fine. Even if they had both parents they still could end up a dropout, a druggy or something worse. It is all dependant on the adult.

In response to bikerdawg74, are you serious? In what sex ed class did you learn that all methods of birth control are 100% effective? There are no methods that effective unless you choose not to have sex. Yes, a choice on their part, but keep in mind that everyone's situation is different and you have no right to judge those who seek help with their family. It doesn't mean they are lazy. I do in fact agree that there are too many people who don't think about what having a child means, but for you to spout your opinions so blindly and stereotype those who have had a family "not by choice", is just plan ignorant. Remember, some faiths are against most modern day forms of birth control not to mention against abortion. Yes it is their decision to choose whether or not to have sex, but it is not their decision to decide if they get pregnant. Our bodies are a bit more complicated than that.

I think men are just pisst that women can actually afford and are more independent than before. It's a great idea to "knock yourself up" come on it's the 21st century! not house on the parrie.

What happened to COMMON SENSE? All you turkey baster lovers out there are trying to belittle religion. Fine. Love your turkey basters, and then what? Sucks that you transition to dust and become nothing but a memory. But wait, what's the other outcome of death? Maybe you continue living. Still sucks for you because you denied it in life. I'll take the moral and non-delusional aspect of life thank you very much. And by the way, does anyone even know what moral means anymore?

I was a single mother, my daughter is now 32, happily married and well adjusted. I provided a middle class lifestyle, good values and a loving environment for her. She also had a wonderful uncle and grandfather that played an active role in her upbringing. I think the "father" issue is a moot point. In years past, many children were raised by single women due to war or death. The important roles are not limited to "father and mother" but to whom ever is actively involved in the well being of the child.

loving traditional familes would not put their childen in a daycare. Day care is neither loving, nor tradtional.

My question to those that want to have a fling with a turkey baster "Is why have you not met Mr. Right?" Maybe the powers that be, how ever you choose to define it, might not want you to bare a child. There are many children, who are available through adoption, that you could provide an amazing life for and be a fantastic parent. In nature, reproduction requires two genders of species to meet and procreate. The world is over populated and maybe mother nature is trying to slow down the human population growth by not providing you with the necessary pieces to bare a child. Think about it before you have a date with a turkey baster.

SMJNS Here is a solution... Don't marry someone who would be an "Abusive husband who molestes your children". You made a horrible choice to marry this guy, and unless you are a retard, it's obvious that he has issues befor the marriage! "But I love him!" "He'll stop after we get married" "He wont do that to OUR kids!" "But he can be so sweet!" Stupid people make stupid choices!

Who said women needed our (mens) approval to have a child. Please, see if we care. Most men would rather be single and free anyway. Go ahead and turkey baste away. I mean, if you don't need men why don't you wemon scientists out there take it to the next level and research the possiblility of wemon genetically becoming hermaphrodites, so they don't need anyone at all. Wouldn' that just great! You ladies would never need a man! You could just think and poof! Pregnancy. In the meantime, lets stop the whining about how women today are under the oppressive power of men. Good grief.

If you are so career oriented that you do not have time to find the perfect husband then guess what? You aren't going to have enough time to raise a child either. The career comes first and the day care raises your child. Also, there is a huge difference between homes where a single parent is raising a child vs. a child with only one parent. A man and a woman bring balance to a child's upbringing and those two parents share the responsibilities. I believe this is a completely selfish decision.

I think it is a great idea I thought I had found Mr. Right until I got pregnant he told me to get a abortion so now I am a single mom which I never really wanted I got married then had got pregnant and found out my husband really did not want any more kids just the ones he had with his first wife. It would have been cheaper to have a child on my own.

add on---- By the way, as for my 5 children, even with DAD's, PLAY TIME-VISITATIOS- (not being a real
parent- up all hours with your child sick, or scared from a nighmare-usually because "DAD let me watch
a scary movie that was inappropriate", going to the doctors, sch confrences, homework, etc.... all of my
children are above adv intell and have excelled accademically... by "societies standards. reading at the age
of 2-3, and always working atleast 2 grades above their age, that was because of my efforts as a Single
Parent- and DADDY HELP NOT AT ALL ( just patted themselves for their childrens accomplishments)

I am a married mom of two, late 30's. Things can go wrong for me and I may become a signle mom, but I can not imagine anyhting that would ever make me feel sorry that I had my kids, feel that my kids don't "fit in" any more. Unfortunately women have to consider their biological clock and can not wait for a mr.Right forever. And to all "Bible watchers" out there - If God gives a woman a child, who are we to say which way he should do it?

I read alot of people talking about how men aren't stepping up to the plate, or men aren't coming along, etc. It just might be possible that women aren't finding the right men because they either aren't really looking or they aren't looking in the right places. (wham bamm thank you maam comes to mind here) There are plenty of men and women out there looking for someone 'right'. And are willing to work through differences. Marriage takes a lot of work, but the result is truly a blessing. I think many would agree humans were designed to live as couples, with reproduction being a by-production of that natural process. If you truly want to find a spouse and have a family, then make the necessary adjustments to your lifestyle, attitude, etc. to make it happen. It's very likely you won't find it in your independent and financially successful career. Unfortunately, many things in life require a sacrifice, and today's (yes, 30+ is still young) younger generations have taken a completely different path. What you're seeing now is a result of years of breakdown in family values, religious foundations, etc. I truly feel sorry for these women that feel this is the only option for a family. There are good men out there, they just may not be where you think they are.

Well, Scott Hemenway, you've inadvertently answered your own question!
No, these women are more than likely not unattractive or unintelligent. Very much the contrary.
They have more than likely come to the realization that they have at least two choices: do the unthinkable and allow themselves, and any subsequent children, to settle for men of your quality; or, take the situation into their own hands and bring a much desired child into an environment filled with love and admiration.
Educated, intelligent women - which is the subject of this debate - know very well what a sacrafice it is to have a child. It is probably their most unselfish act to date.