Knocking Yourself Up

I was raised only by my mother. I love my mother with all of my heart, but she was completely inable to fill the hole that was inside of me. Regardless of what other men are brought in and out of a child's life, NO ONE can fill the hole of a father except for a father, and NO MAN can care for a child as if it is truly their own. I would give anything to have that relationship with my father. Because of the lack in that relationship, my teenage years were spent for the most part very troubled. I looked to fill that void in relationships that I should have never entered into. I encourage anyone to fully consider the consequences on your child. I know that you will love that child with all you have, but that is not enough. My fiance, my friends, and all others I've encountered that grew up in a single parent household would testify the same thing to you. It's just not fair to bring a child into that.

sillybillygirl - you need to get your prescription refilled. Too many angry, hypocritical comments for anyone to tolerate...

(typos removed) To all you High and Mighty people out there screaming-SELFISH!.... Wake up people. No matter who has a child biologically, it is selfish. It is a selfishly driven biological need. No matter if you're a perfectly happily married couple or a single parent. Having children is simple biologically driven selfish need. PERIOD! It serves no purpose but for self-fulfillment. So with that said, how can you condemn someone who has this natural desire? If your so high and mighty then you should have adopted all of your kids or adopt all of your kids. So not only are you high and mighty condemning people, selfish, but you are also hypocritical, condescending and delusional so GET OFF your High Horse. So of course these women would like to have a two parent household with a Man they love who can bring a --"LOVING HOME"--- to a child, But those eggs do not last forever. Keep in mind that having one bad parent is worst than having just one good one. Too many people have bad ones. Let's see those STATISTICS.

I think America would be a better place if we stopped judging people. Who are its not or we to say, ???That???s not Christian??? or a healthy life style. I don't have children, but I???m also only 23 and just starting a career. If someone wants to go to a sperm bank why should anyone care. It's not your business. If someone wants to adopt good for them. There are some people that have children the "Christian way" and quite frankly.... some people should not reproduce. People who adopt and go to sperm banks want to have children, and are prepared to take care of that child and give it a loving home. I am Catholic.... but you don't seem me pushing my beliefs on someone else. You crazy Christians need to realize that not everyone cares what you think. You live by your values and morals and stop judging everything that is different from you. Christian sects are so afraid to step outside the box so they judge and make people feel bad for what they are doing. That doesn???t sound very "Christian Like" to me.

Everyone needs to just calm down ! This is to all you "religous" people. Who are you to judge ? I know many young "religous" girls, age 14-15, who get pregnant and the way you clean up that mess is to get them married as soon as possible. But a grown woman who has the intelligence and money choses to become a mother that's bad. Give me a break ! "He who is not a sinner shall cast the first stone". Learn it and remember it !! Love It !!

Being my daddy's girl all my life I can't imagine my father, or step father for that matter, not being a part of my up bringing. Booth of whom have an enormous fatherly role in my life that is unlike that of a mother. Women naturally behave differently than men and I think that it is important to have both in a family to balance the other out. Women are driven and independent and can care for them selves and their children, but, they also need to realize the importance of a male role. What if they have a son? Who will be his role model of how to act as a man? Now, marrying the "wrong" guy shouldn't be a last resort either, so, some women just need to understand that they aren't going to have children...or, if they want to have children so badly, I can't understand why they wouldn't want to adopt a child instead of bringing another into the world. Bringing a child (especially a wanted child) into the world is wonderful, but what about all the unwanted children? Think about it.

Im a single parent by choice and I was raised by a single by choice. Im an educated woman with a BS in Chemistry and a MS in Biotech, I purchased my 1st home at the age of 23 and Im very capable of raising my daughter ALONE. Someone made a comment that us single moms who went to college should have basically found a mate is BS to me. This is not 1930 when women only went to school for a man. I dont know about anyone else, but I wasnt searching for a man inbetween my Chemistry and Biology class. And the thought that a single mom raising a gay son sounds like something an idiot would say back in 1970. And what is the difference between a child finding out that they are adopted oppose to mommy went to a spermbank? It doesnt matter as long as that child grows up in a healthy loving environment. People need to get a clue and realize that a two parent household doesnt always equal up. Someone commented that what if your child has a disability. I work with alot of married women, who complaining all the time that they are basically doing it alone. The women are the ones getting up all times a night checking and comforting their children, while their husbands are sound asleep. They are taking off from work or they are the first one to get the phone call from the daycare. They are prepare birthday and sporting events themselves, while their husbands sit back and relax. As a single parent, I complain less than they do. I know that Im doing it by myself, but they were expecting help from their husbands.

Our culture is changing. I have 2 teenage stepkids. MANY of their friends are single parent, or the kids are being raised by their grandparents. This article mostly talke about "preganacy" of a single parent. It does not fully address the possible long-term affects on American culture due in part to the changing dynamics of 'the family.'
Who cares what these women want...what about the human beings they are bringing into this world?
What will the world be like when these children are adults?
And does it really matter?
I obviously don't know what the future holds for these small children, with no Daddies...these small children who will be the generation following the current split-family generation. (my teenage stepkids peers).

What sort of place will our country be if we are SO selfish, individualistic, and materialistic that the next 2 generations don't even NEED family?
History repeats itself. Rome, anyone?

My main problem with this whole insemination (couples, singles, gay and straight) issue is the fact of how many unwanted children and babies go unadopted in this country and around the world. I just don't understand this selfish desire to have "your own" child. I have a cousin who was adopted and is healthy, beautiful and intelligent - we consider each other family, lineage has no meaning. People need to re evaluate their values.

I think America would be a better place if we stopped judging people. Who are its not or we to say, ???That???s not Christian??? or a healthy life style. I don't have children, but I???m also only 23 and just starting a career. If someone wants to go to a sperm bank why should anyone care. It's not your business. If someone wants to adopt good for them. There are some people that have children the "Christian way" and quite frankly.... some people should not reproduce. People who adopt and go to sperm banks want to have children, and are prepared to take care of that child and give it a loving home. I am Catholic.... but you don't seem me pushing my beliefs on someone else. You crazy Christians need to realize that not everyone cares what you think. You live by your values and morals and stop judging everything that is different from you. Christian sects are so afraid to step outside the box so they judge and make people feel bad for what they are doing. That doesn???t sound very "Christian Like" to me.

I think it is sick and wrong. I have never heard of anything more selfish. When people are going to sperm banks, they are thinking only of themselves wanting to be a parent, not about the welfare of the child in the long run. No excuses. Children that are brought up in a single family home are less stable and there are numerous studies to prove that. Not to mention, the heartache of a child not knowing his/her father, but what a piece of paper tells him/her. The child could grow up marrying their brother or sister and not even knowing it--that is another can of worms. Why make this society more complicated than it already is. I think we need to stop being selfish and start putting others first and concentrating on what is morally right. Adopt if you really want to be a parent and help the children that are here now and really need a parent.

Dear bikerdawg74,
Nothing replaces a good, loving father. But what your email states is that women are dumb or stupid for being a single mother. I guess you would even stay with an abusive husband who molestes your children. I think in that instance a "warehouse/daycare" is a much better alternative. And what about loving, traditional families who put their children in daycare? I guess you would think they are pure evil. Obviously, someone hasn't been in a daycare facility recently.

What if the child wants to know about his/her father? What are you going to tell them? Are you going to tell them the truth or start lying to them at a yong age? This is awful and could be very negitive for a child because a child needs a loving father and a loving mother. Why can't people be a good judge of charactor? I mean come on take the time to get to know the person before you marry them. And if its hard to find the right guy maybe your looking in the wrong places. Look at the way a person dresses and acts and study them as a friend for a couple years.

Being my daddy's girl all my life I can't imagine my father, or step father for that matter, not being a part of my up bringing. Booth of whom have an enormous fatherly role in my life that is unlike that of a mother. Women naturally behave differently than men and I think that it is important to have both in a family to balance the other out. Women are driven and independent and can care for them selves and their children, but, they also need to realize the importance of a male role. What if they have a son? Who will be his role model of how to act as a man? Now, marrying the "wrong" guy shouldn't be a last resort either, so, some women just need to understand that they aren't going to have children...or, if they want to have children so badly, I can't understand why they wouldn't want to adopt a child instead of bringing another into the world.

Most of you single moms are about as easy as a one piece jig saw puzzle. Stupid choice after stupid choice. No real brains at all. You should just focus on sitting and looking pretty. Don't whine about deadbeat dads when YOU SLEPT WITH THEM! MORONS!!!

First off If you think that bringing a child to this world will bring joy to your life you are starting off wrong. You should already be joyful in your life and welcome the fact that a child will add joy. Children need to be welcomed into an already "happy" household, because like with alot of things in life you will have your ups and downs. So that joy could soon become a thorn in your side. I was raised in a single mother household with my four other siblings. We were raised in poverty but what my mother lacked in financial stability she made up in love. I feel that women should not go at becoming mothers alone. One scenario is when that child starts to come into his or her own and start asking where is my father or where is my mother what will be your response to LIE tell then "oh daddy die or mommy left us before you were born". Or be HONEST and say "Well honey you were purchased from a sperm bank. I feel if you want to raise a child on your own you should adopt its a cure for a greater of two evils. You want a child and a child wants a parent its perfect. That hold thing with KNOW YOUR DONOR is ridiculous. WHY?, because there is only one true way to know someone and that's to get to know them personally and even then you never know. Vis sa vie that's why people get divorced. But whatever decision you decide to make remember one thing just because you have a child does not make you a parent. Like anything worth having its gonna take hard work.

to meg2000000 - 1 + 0 = 1 parent, not 2 parents. check your math.

What about single "fatherhood"? How does one go about it? I am very definitely interested.. please post links or something!

I think everyone needs to calm down !! For the "religous" people out there give me a break. Do you know how many "religous" little girls out there get pregnant every day at the age of 14 or 15 ? But the way you cover it up is by getting them married as soon as possible. A grown woman has a the intelligence and money to know when the time is right, for them, to become a mom. And i agree that who are we to judge people ? "He is not a sinner shall cast the first stone" Learn it and remember it !!