Knocking Yourself Up

This is just selfishness, as far as I'm concerned. YOU want a child so YOU have one, regardless of the effects this has on the child. Yes, it's possible for a woman to support a child alone and yes, it's possible for a woman to raise a child alone if given no other option. But that doesn't make it right and it's certainly doesn't make it fair for the child. Moms and Dads both provide so many wonderful yet very different gifts for their children. A child shouldn't be deprived of the love of two parents if it can be avoided. Being a mom means putting someone else's needs and wants first. Choosing to have a child, the first act of any parent, should involve putting the child's needs first - not one's own selfish desire to be a mom regardless of the consequences, especially since the consequences will be felt by an innocent child and not yourself.

It's interesting that they only study the attidudes and behavior of children raised by higher income and education level as a pre-teen or younger. These studies have yet to determine the lack of father affect post age 13. During purberty and as a young adult, children start forming thier opinions of a partner and what a normal relationshiop should be. Speaking from as a child that didn't have a father figure my whole life but had a well educationed, loving mom, the biggest problem i have had is trying to form normal, healthy relationships with men. Because there were no men in my household, i had no experience in dealing with them or with how normal husband/wife relationships work

Sometimes i think that women choose a certain lifestyle in their youth: they want the career, the wealth, and the ambition. But they sacrifice the family to do so. But then they reach a point in their life where they change their mind. Is it fair to bring a child into this life knowing that you won't have any support, no parental back up if something should happen to you and knowing it will have difficulties in life because of it?

There are plenty of children in this world who are born into horrible circumstances. Instead of the turkey baster option, adopt a child that has it rough. Make their life better!

i feel as though women who dont where protection during intercourse even if they say the don't want a kid do it so the end up getting pregnant. Is the man ready for this type of commitment ? I honestly and truly don't beleive so. They get scared make stupid choices and some eventually leave you because thats all they know how to do is leave. Being a woman whose boyfriend let her the day i found out i was pregnant. I am speaking from experience give it time and your man will come crawling back just like a dog. My boyfriend went out got a new girlfriend and relized he didn't love her the way he loved me. 2 weeks ago i ran into him after 3 months of not seeing him not talking to hime everything i even changed my number. her told me he wanted to talk that he missed what we had that nobody could compare to me.. he wanted to be here for me and my baby it made me feel could but i was scared at the same time thinking to myself "is he just playing more games with me" but he wasnt he was telling the truth i dont know what i'd do without the rest of my pregnancy he has been awesome. We are excited a little boy due in March

I believe that a woman has a choice to have a baby without a father in the childs life. As long as the woman is physically, mentally, and emotionally able to raise the child with all of the love and adoration of a two parent household, then why should society frown upon it? I want to know how on earth she inseminated HERSELF though?!

It takes two to raise a child ... A father and a mother. Every child learns different things on so many different levels from each parent. My mother, in no way, could have ever taught me the same things about being a Man that my father did, nor could my father have taught me things that I learned from my mother. Any child that grows up without both parents lacks something very special in their life.

As a single mother of a well adjusted young lady of 15 whose dad has never been in the picture single mothers are capable of having wonderful and bright children. My daughter is a straight A student, a cheerleader at school, works at the YMCA as a lifeguard, and a very outgoing and great young lady. I like to think that is because of her mother ( not bragging of course). My biggest problems have been able to work full time and get her back and worth to all of her activities thru the years. I have been fortunate that she has a great male role model in her life - her grandfather. We live alone but are close to my parents. To me I think the most important thing with children with one parent or two is teaching good values and helping them to make good choices in their live. It can be done with just one parent who really loves and spends quality time with them. Things could change tomorrow with her ( although I do not believe that to be the case) but you know what? No matter I will still love her and be there for her no matter what and the most important thing is that she knows that. Single moms go for it - you can do it alone

It takes two to raise a child ... A father and a mother. Every child learns different things on so many different levels from each parent. My mother, in no way, could have ever taught me the same things about being a Man that my father did, nor could my father have taught me things that I learned from my mother. Any child that grows up without both parents lacks something very special in their life.

While it is stimulating to ponder what the differences would be if a study compared childern of mature, educated, financially sound, single women to the average kids (ie. strip out the teen mothers) this is not the comparison that should be made. To be meaningful, childern of mature educated financially sound single women should be compared against children of equally mature educated financially sound couples. That study would yield meaningful information in this "debate." Let me know when it happens.

Sincerely,
White, male, married, father of two (one still in utero), grad degree:-)

I believe that a woman has a choice to have a baby without a father in the childs life. As long as the woman is physically, mentally, and emotionally able to raise the child with all of the love and adoration of a two parent household, then why should society frown upon it? I want to know how on earth she inseminated HERSELF though?!

I knew someone would play that stupid card about, if you're so educated why can't you find mr right? That's crap people! I may BE with my mr. right right now, but there is NO way of knowing that. How do I know that years down after having children, that we don't get divorced? It happens. And if I'm with someone now and am not sure it is the right thing, am I going to wait until it is unsafe for my health to have kids?! And please do NOT bring that "women raising boys makes them have gay tendencies" crap. That is a load of garbage. Unless your a mother who dresses her infant son in girls clothes and buys him barbies on purpose, I don't think that that has any relevance to this topic. If a woman is healthy and happy and is secure within herself and her life, then she should do what she wants. If she really cares enough about having a child to do it by herself, then she will care enough to make the right decisions while raising that child! There are no real verifiable statistics that say children that grow up with TWO parents are better off than with one either. Anyone who really thinks that, needs to watch the news more. Or better yet, take a poll while standing on the street. It doesn't matter if you have one, two or three parents, it only matters that you have good ones.

I am not married, though I thought I was doing everything "right" in order to find Mr. Right. Now, I plan to adopt a child as a single mother. As I have learned more about the process of adopting, I was astonished to find out that it really isn't that easy. The cost and screening processes are considerable, I thought, as others do, that there were plenty of needy children. However, there are very few newborns or toddlers available (especially caucasians), and then single women must compete with married couples. It just is not that easy to adopt and therefore give an unfortunate child a home. And where do you think these children come from? A significant number come from broken homes where neither parent is able to care for the child! If a child is older or has special needs, it is even more difficult to prove you are a good enough parent. When you consider the odds single women face in adoption, it makes perfect sense that most would try the sperm bank first. Women going to the spem bank really are not denying needy children a loving home.

Women making this choice will certainly be in for a rude awakening when their innocent children turn into "overly" troubled teens. You will all regret having made your decisions, time will tell...I wish you could all take a peak at your children's lives 10 - 15 years down the road. You would all certainly make wiser decisions and not continue this horrible cycle of lousy parenting. It is such a shame....if you only had positive fathers in your lives things could be different.

I have been married twice, both to duds, I have 5 children and if i could do it all over again without the hassels of visitations and mind games the DADS have and continue to play , I'd say go for the peaceful
life of being both the parents yourself. Or at least tell dad sorry your not the father, that way the kids don't
suffer, nor do you, with hands tied watching the anguish of your children going through dads mind games.

To anyone who says they are a single mother "not by choice", yes you are! YOU chose to have premarital sex, probably without being on the pill (or are to dumb to take it everyday. It does work you know) or you married the wrong guy. Ether way, YOU chose to be a single mom! Take some responsibility! How do you feel that you stick your kids in a warehouse/daycare for up to 50 hours per week? You are SICK to do that to a child! It's not all about you! And let me respond to those who have their parents watch their kids all week, You are lazy and suck the life out of people! Why have kids to just dump them on your parents/sister/friend? If they wanted to have more kids, they would have!

My husband and I had been married 7 years. Because of infertility problems we were unable to concieve when we wanted. We had put off using infertility drugs because we were afraid of multiple births but we finally decided to try. He left me while I was Clomid and we were trying to get pregnant. I want nothing more than to have my own child. I would rather that I find another man that I love to have my children with but if I can't find one before I'm too old I will have a child on my own. Some people might find that as being selfish but it's not. I did the right thing; I got married then I tried to have kids. I don't believe that I should just not have kids now because I got a divorce. That does not change me from being a good person that would be a good mother. To the people on here who are happily married and think that it is selfish please realize this: Nothing last forever; you could very easily end up divorced or widowed before you have children. Would you want to live the rest of your life without children just because you couldn't find another man or woman that you love and that loves you back. If you found yourself in that situation, what would you do?

I think our society has been mentally brainwashed by peverts that hold powerful positions. Definition of psychosis: "A severe mental disorder, with or without organic damage, characterized by derangement of personality and loss of contact with reality and causing deterioration of normal social functioning." Definition of circus freak: "A human oddity on exhibition in a museum or in a circus or carnival side show." In this case the freak is represented by the psychotic women that think turkey basters can replace a loving father. The museum is represented by newsweek for showing it to the world. Don't try and tell me a turkey baster resembles normality in any way. Try having a kid fifty years ago without current technology. Comparing the recent decades to all time that man has existed; no one can claim the turkey baster is a normal human activity. Thus whoever believes a turkey baster is normal is, by definition, psychotic.

I wonder about the child, when he/she grows up and longs for a father. Never being daddy's girl or having father and son bonding moments. My parents were divorced so my brothers and I grew up with a single mom. Our mom was the best mom a child could hope for. Even though we bascially go everything thing we wanted growing up, I still wanted a dad.
What happens if this single parent passes untimely? What happens to the child with no father then?
I dont agree with knocking yourself up, I think it is selfish. The parent is thinking of their happiness not the childs long tem happiness.

I think our society has been mentally brainwashed by peverts that hold powerful positions. Definition of psychosis: "A severe mental disorder, with or without organic damage, characterized by derangement of personality and loss of contact with reality and causing deterioration of normal social functioning." Definition of circus freak: "A human oddity on exhibition in a museum or in a circus or carnival side show." In this case the freak is represented by the psychotic women that think turkey basters can replace a loving father. The museum is represented by newsweek for showing it to the world. Don't try and tell me a turkey baster resembles normality in any way. Try having a kid fifty years ago without current technology. Comparing the recent decades to all time that man has existed; no one can claim the turkey baster is a normal human activity. Thus whoever believes a turkey baster is normal is, by definition, psychotic.

I think that it depends on the person. My neighbor wanted a kid but couldn't find Mr. Right. So she got knocked up and now has a beautiful 4 year old boy who is the light of her life. If the men want to be fathers so badly, then some of them should reconsider knocking up women then leaving just to show up 10 years later and wants to be a part of the kids life. NO. They should stick around.