Knocking Yourself Up

The family is the core part of all society. I understand that sometimes a woman has no choice but to be a single mother and some of the people dearest to me have done this. But having a mother and a father in the home helps the child to feel more secure and when you have 3 kids and two parents, it is a lot easier to get everything done that one parent, mother or father, trying to make dinner, get to soccer games and ballet practice and get school work done has. It is just the way it should be. If we start to mess with something that has been the basis of society for thosands of years, we might regreat the consequences later down the line. As with the other person, I have a strong belief that God would have the man with the woman and woman with the man.

Before these women go and get themselves pregnant, they need to stop and think about the child. I'm a single mom of a 2 year old boy. My husband passed away of cancer when he was 9 months old. I was lucky to have found a man who loved me and blessed me with my son. I love my son dearly. However, it is extremely difficult to be a single mom. I'm blessed with the fact I have a great support system close by. If I need help or a day away, my parents are right there. My son is loved by many. But, he doesn't have a dad. He doesn't have a dad to do all the boy things with. Yes he has his grandpa but it's not the same. Now I hope I find a man who will be willing to fill those shoes - if not though I have to fill both shoes. Working full time, taking care of a house/yard, and my son is stressful. He comes first but what happens if I get sick? What happens if I can't take care of him? If it wasn't for my parents - I'd be in a world of hurt. These are things for these women to consider. If you have a great support system - go for it because children are a blessing. If you don't and it's only you - think long and hard about it! Make sure you are an extremely strong person.

It as if we are only thinking about ourselves. Children do not ask to be born let alone, born in a world with a missing parent, and all because we are so selfish that we would do anything to have things our way in this world no matter what, who or how it is paid for, even if its a life. If you want to have a baby then wait until you meet the right person and let the child be born out of love. If you don't have childeren then maybe your are not suppose to. I am a believer in making things happen in life, but you have the draw the line somehwere. This is not just about statistics and facts its about someone's life here. There are people who came the natarul way already that don't want to be here and yet we want to force people into existence to appease our stinking filthy flesh.

If you are willing to take the responsibilty of a child and doing it for the right reasons, why not adopt, there are too many children who need a parent it does not necesarily have to be a woman but if your financially stable and can provide all the love that a child needs than it's a beautifull and miraculous thing.

Children need a father figure, a girl without a father figure in her life, when she becomes a teenager will start looking for the "love and understanding" of a man. If he really is loving and understanding great, but most of the time they probably aren't. So this fatherless teenager gets knocked up and mothers more fatherless children. Boys that dont have a father athority figure unless they get help usually end up in prison. So no I dont believe women so subject these "sperm" to a single parent house.

Hey "bikerdawg". There is nothing wrong with Sex and the City. It is great literature. Just because a girl likes that show doesn't mean that she agrees with everything on it. Grow up and good luck finding someone to honestly put up with you.

I find this idea fascinating. Why do men criticize it? The only reason I can think of is that they are jealous. Because they don't have the ability to have their own biological kids without the help from women. And I'd laugh so hard everytime I think about it. Regarding to the issue of single parenting and its impact on the kids, all I have to say is that we've seen enough troubled kids from families with one bad parent... or two. Of course it's not the ideal situation being a single mom, but this is better than getting married with Mr. Not Right just to have kids. And I also believe that if a woman is ready to do something like this, she will be mentally and financially prepared, which is a whole different story than being knocked up by some random guy at your 20s. It's always better that choosing how to live than being chosen.

I've read the bible several times... it says you can stone your sons to death and sell your daughters into slavery. In fact Lot offered his daughter to the angry mob so they would rape her instead of the angels. Abraham was going to murder his son Isaac for his god. Yeah, the bible is FULL of family values... just not the kind I would ever consider to be wholesome or at all healthy. And the paper it's printed on is too slippery and thin to use as toilet paper. It's really just an aweful waste of atree.

It's not about you, single mom wannabe. It's about the kid, who will be happier with 2 parents who love eachother. But don't worry about the kid, you can help them pick out a nice tie for the turkey baster on Father's day.

To ericamarie1207--

I couldn't help commentimg--in your one paragraph you talk about not judging, but then YOU say some people shouldn't reproduce...!!! You go on to whine about all "THOSE PEOPLE" who impose their values, etc. Don't you see how YOU'RE JUDGING......!?!?!?! But more importantly, being the age you are, I can understand how you're failing to see a bigger picture--you're all about everyone's INDIVIDUAL rights, and you're not looking a little further to consider the results of people's actions. SOME things are best for children and society, and SOME ARE NOT, even if they're legal. If you or anyone pronounces something as good OR not good, guess what??? SOMEONE MADE A "JUDGEMENT". Religious or not, anyone can be "judgemental".....including you......!! Why not leave out judging the religious people, and just discuss the facts....?!?!? (answer, because people can be selfish, especially in the name of individual rights, and yes I'm making a judgement!!). I should mention, I know single women who've adopted, and I'm deeply appreciative of them.

I am a single mom that is educated with a career. Why should women wait for the "right man" to come along to have children? Not to mention how often are men the sex that bails on their offspring. I think men are intimidated by the fact that women do not NEED them anymore. Plus look at divorce rates in America- why get married at all in this day and age. I encourage women to obtain their goals whatever they may be with or without a man's approval.

I would rather know the man of the child i will be carrying, then to not know him at all. Even if we do not become a couple, I do not want to deprive my child of his/her father.
Dont get me wrong, for the women who feel that is the only way to go, then do what you have to do. But also keep in mind of the child you will be raising. Do you really want your child to grow up and not know who their Father really is? There will be this empty space, not even how much you think you can feel it, you can't. Your child will alway wonder.

I have thought about it nurmerous times, but i'm not sure if that would be the right choice.

Dont let my opinion change your mind, just wanted to share my thoughts.

Franni

I am also a single mother who is raising my daughter alone without the help of her father. Was this my choice? Yes it was my choice to not let her father be in the picture due to the fact he has never called when he found out I was pregnant, nor did he care. Do i want a father figure/role model for my daughter? Yes I do but do I think I think I could raise my daughter on my own with a father figure if Mr Right never comes of course I can, and let me tell you why. The one thing that matters most in the world to me is my daughter and her safety and happiness, and if that means me doing it all alone then I am perfectly happy with it. I make sure my daughter gets all the love and support from me, and I do give her all the things in life that she needs and that is love and happiness. I may not able to afford the brand name items but you know what I don't care, and she does not care care she gots clothes on her back , food, a home, and all the love of me. and when I have a frustrating day at work, and I go and pick her up from daycare and I see her smiles and giggles that makes the day better and all worth the while of having my daughter. I think no matter if you are single, married, gay or straight kids come are kids and they come into the world and it is up to you if you want to step up and be a good role model for your child not someone else.

If you can provide for this child without help from someone or the government, go ahead.I think it is smart not to just marry someone to have a child. And what if your gay or ***? Should you never have children because you don't desire the opposite sex? There are hundred of children that are being born and unwanted.Thank God people go out of their way to plan to have a wanted pregnancy!The divorce rate is over 50%, which mean sevaral single parent homes.You should be more concerned about what your children are doing.Maybe they would stop shooting up schools,using drugs, and driving drunk under 21.But last I checked, my God does not live on earth and only he can judge!!

I think everyone is blowing the whole idea out of proportion. I think a successful woman in her 30's is more than capable of raising a child. Everyone is saying children need fathers in their lives, and that is totally wrong. What a child needs is love and stability. I was not raised by either of my parents, and some of my friends that were raised at home with both parents had hard lives, because they saw dads either abuse their moms, dads having extra marital affairs, and other ills that were caused by having a dad around. I'm not saying that all men do these things, but when you are a child, and you see how hurt your mom is you would rather she be a single parent. I know parents that only stayed together for the kids, and the household was miserable. No one is happy in a situation when no one wants to be there. I would rather an independent women in her 30's who has thought about her life, and knows what she is doing, and understands her consequences of that "turkey baster" bring a child into the world rather than some teen, or young woman with no education or future waiting for the government to take care of her child. Dad or no dad children need love and stability.

I think we really need to be focused on why women would rather be single than married. I think in today's society it is a lot harder to be a functioning family with all of the negative thrown in your face. You all know the argument but seriously, it's hard enough to find one that you consider to be "faithful" (that term might be different for some of you). I don't think womens' expectations are too high, they need to be, especially if you are starting a family.

I have wanted children for many years and have been waiting for a good man to enter my life to be the father. After watching my best-friends fiancee walk out on her and their son within days of his birth and trying to help her complete medical school and raise a beautiful and loving child without his father I became convinced that I NEVER wanted to be a single-mother. Now that I am a full-time physician myself and realize that time is getting shorter I have considered using a sperm-bank and have had significant support from my friends and I have found many other women who have opted to have their children on their own. Given that I have yet to find a man who is loving and supportive this option is becoming more appealing especially as my work commitments are lessening with a healthy income to support myself and a child. This has nothing to do with my insecurities or selfishness or the need for a "Mr. Right" to raise my children but has everything to do with raising a child in a loving home with a caring family with or without a father in the house. In my practice I see many children who are not wanted and are burdens upon their family and I would give everything for a child of my own to love and protect. Given the difficulty in adopting an infant as a single parent even though I am financially stable and the bonds created through childbirth and nursing your child I would much rather use a turkey baster at this point.

I say that instead of attacking people as adult making decisions that we look at childhood and upbringing. I think that the issue is that little girls and little boys don't play with each other enough throughout childhood and there is a social stigma attached to what little girls and little boys should like and do throughout thier childhood years. If little boys and little girls could figure out a way to get along better and all, not just a rare few, little boys learn in thier teen years that you don't have want sex with a woman in order to hang out with her and have a good time, then there would be a lot less hurt feelings out there. I think hurt feelings, a lack of common interests, and a lack of effort to be productive and stick to a relationship is what is causing the divide between men and women today.

I congratulate women who are strong enough to fight for what they want, even when it is something society sees as being abnormal. There is nothing wrong with a successful, healthy and educated single woman having and raising children on her own. However, being that healthy and successful and educated usually means that you aren't alone, you have support in everything you do-including being a single parent. There is something wrong with being with a man just because it is what everyone says you should do. What we really need to take a look at is why intelligent and independent women are unable to find mates who are equal to them. That seems to be the real problem.