Knocking Yourself Up

Hi , im 20 years of age and im a boy that was raised only by his mother, my father passed away before i was born. I think single woman having a child on their own is wrong. A father is a very important role in a childs life, for me it was always wishing my dad was around and asking my mother why it had to happen, but for a child that has no actual father, what is that child supose to think and wonder. He has no father that can potentioanlly be around. Now i agree that male figures in the childs life does help, but not as much as a father. I myself had greaduated high school, bvut it was not easy, it was rough for me. I have suffered from depression all my life. AS for sports my borther got me started into wrestleing, i loved it, my coach knew my fatrher very well and was like a father for me in high school. I worked so hard through the season and in the off-season, i never stopped wrestling, i think this was becasue i wanted my mom to be proud of me and a father would, i wanted someon their to appreciate me like a father, but the truth is, moms cant be tehre like fathers are. Men are more into sports and as boy its important for a male to be around. i felt myslef always wanting my mom to act like a father. Even though i was a deicated athlete, i was heavily involved in pot, due to my life long depression, yea its not that bad some people say, but it landed me a few nights a county prision, not fun. A male figure is jsut important in a childs life. it gives the child structure and discipline, a completely different stytle of being raised. The child is alays gonna see other kids with their fathers and wish they had one around, to just to toss the ball around in the backyard, go fishing and work on cars, or for the girl, go to the fatrher-daughter dance or be "daddy's little girl" , and just remember how good it feels ladies to be "daddy's little girl" and really think about it beofre you knock yourself up

Hi , im 20 years of age and im a boy that was raised only by his mother, my father passed away before i was born. I think single woman having a child on their own is wrong. A father is a very important role in a childs life, for me it was always wishing my dad was around and asking my mother why it had to happen, but for a child that has no actual father, what is that child supose to think and wonder. He has no father that can potentioanlly be around. Now i agree that male figures in the childs life does help, but not as much as a father. I myself had greaduated high school, bvut it was not easy, it was rough for me. I have suffered from depression all my life. AS for sports my borther got me started into wrestleing, i loved it, my coach knew my fatrher very well and was like a father for me in high school. I worked so hard through the season and in the off-season, i never stopped wrestling, i think this was becasue i wanted my mom to be proud of me and a father would, i wanted someon their to appreciate me like a father, but the truth is, moms cant be tehre like fathers are. Men are more into sports and as boy its important for a male to be around. i felt myslef always wanting my mom to act like a father. Even though i was a deicated athlete, i was heavily involved in pot, due to my life long depression, yea its not that bad some people say, but it landed me a few nights a county prision, not fun. A male figure is jsut important in a childs life. it gives the child structure and discipline, a completely different stytle of being raised. The child is alays gonna see other kids with their fathers and wish they had one around, to just to toss the ball around in the backyard, go fishing and work on cars, or for the girl, go to the fatrher-daughter dance or be "daddy's little girl" , and just remember how good it feels ladies to be "daddy's little girl" and really think about it beofre you knock yourself up

First of all, I would like to ask, Who the hell is ANYONE to tell ANY woman they can't have a child on their own?! For those of you who have been fortunate enough to have met your partner and begun a family together, great for you and that's wonderful and I wish it happened that way for everyone. But what about the people that just don't seem to find that person? Are they condemned to a life without children because they don't sleep next to the same person every night? Kiss someone goodbye every morning? Or attend functions with a significant other? This subject touches a very sensitive nerve with me because my boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years now and have been planning to get married and start a family. Recently, we've been not getting along and I've been having my doubts about what my future will be. It doesn't change the fact that I have really wanted badly to start a family over the last year. I have considered going it alone only because I am in a place in my life where I am stable and am ready for it. I believe that if you are in a place like that, who cares that you will be a single parent. It doesn't necessarily mean you will be a single parent forever, maybe you will but maybe you won't! Men are not so shallow that they would not start a relationship with a woman with a child. What about if a man wanted to have a child and didn't have a girlfriend or wife and he decided to adopt? Would people think ill of him? Or would they praise him for being such an upstanding guy to have cared so much as to go it alone? I don't know what my relationship will bring me in the next few months, but I do know that I am a capable, smart, and determined young woman and if I choose to have a child alone, I'll still make a great mother. Everyone who opposes this idea is robbing that woman of something that would bring joy to her and that is not your right at all. Would you never have children if you were not with someone? Would you keep that out of YOUR life? I doubt it. If it were you, you would do what you could to make yourself happy. And if you didn't do it, maybe you don't love yourself enough to give yourself all that you can have. It has nothing to do with the best interests of the child. There are plenty of single parents out there from other circumstances like 911. Do you condemn THEM for bringing up a child without a mother or father? Wether or not you have MADE the decision to be a single parent or you have been PUT in that situation, you are still a parent and no one should make you feel bad for it.

I can't seem to figure out how such angry women will make good single parents and raise a healthy child? They will only further corrupt our world by raising children who are statistically proven to have more problems than children raised by a full time mother and father thus repeating this horrible cycle of inadequate parents.

I am a single mother, not necessarily by choice. My daughter's biological father didn't feel it necessary to stick around. I've read many of these comments regarding children of single parents and how they "suffer". I think it all depends on your support system. I raise my daughter on my own without child support, however I have a wonderful support system. My family is the most loving, understanding family a person could ever want. If I need advice my mother is there. My dad helps us with the sports and takes her fishing. My daughter is almost eleven now. She is in the top 2% of children in the nation as far as her intelligence. She is a very happy girl. I provide everything physically and emotionally for her and I am so happy to do so. I am financially secure in my life and I am more involved in her life than most children's two parents are. I don't think two parents have to be present for a child to be loved and nurtured. These are my two cents.

garden2g@hotmail.com

I think the issue here is addressing pre-marital sex, not single motherhood. We have no problem going behind closed doors and having sex. The problem arises in our society when women are shunned because they accept the consequences of sex. Kudos to women who assume their position as mothers, married or not!

This isn't fair to some of the men/future fathers as I doubt most woman would say they just want to be knocked up then leave. A college buddy of mine ran into a woman who did this to him and it turned out to be a huge mess and the child is now living with him. This might work if this is agreed upon up front by both parties in writing and the child support is legally agreed upon prior to conception. If this is in place then there is a chance this could work for everyone; however, be aware that contracts that are not in the best interest of the children may not hold up in court so it is possible this arrangement would not be legally valid.

Again - I think it is much healthier for a child to be raised by an accomplished single mother than by a "modern american man" and his Indentured servant concubine that he purchased from a developing country Rustman1980. But thats just me...

listen, the point isn't how many of them hate men or have imperfections themselves. The real point is that some or even many of these women have the choice to do this in this country. I personally don't think they hate men. Are some of their expectations too high? Probably. But most are just hard working women who want a family. I am blessed to have 3 great kids and a beautiful wife. But we have single parent friends. Some of them are awesome. Some of them suck. Some of our married friends suck as well. Some suck so badly that we aren't friends anymore. This is the beauty of a free country. We have the right to fail miserabley in America. Let's give these women and hand and applaud their solution to a problem tht they have managed to skirt around. Good job ladies. Now us guys need to figure out how to do this and we're even... but considering we get paid more at jobs it may balance out, lol.

I am a single mother, not necessarily by choice. My daughter's biological father didn't feel it necessary to stick around. I've read many of these comments regarding children of single parents and how they "suffer". I think it all depends on your support system. I raise my daughter on my own, however I have a wonderful support system. My family is the most loving, understanding family a person could ever want. If I need advice my mother is there. My dad helps us with the sports and takes her fishing. My daughter is almost eleven now. She is in the top 2% of children in the nation as far as her intelligence. She is a very happy girl. I provide everything physically and emotionally for her and I am so happy to do so. I am financially secure in my life and I am more involved in her life than most children's two parents are. I don't think two parents have to be present for a child to be loved and nurtured. These are my two cents.

Who are we to judge? I beleive that it is a very personal decision that every woman is entitled to. This is America people, get a grip.

I belong to a 2-parent house. I'm not sure what my husband brings to the rearing of our children. He doesn't participate in activities, he doesnt play with our kids. He would rather they play video games so he doesnt have to go outside. Not once in 10 yrs has he played ball with our son. Bravo to all the women out there going it alone. As for me...I am a single parent without being single.

Looking forward to the future I do not see this as an issue of time. Look around you how many Corporations allow flex time, home offices, and network conferencing. The Globalization of Communication allows more and more people telecomuting positions, that even 10 years ago was next to immpossible. So instead of showing disrespect and belligerence to a growing long term trend. Show respect for anyone willing to take the step forward. Do I think the child will suffer being born to a financially stable single parent NO. As the article pointed out the key is financial stability. Will the child suffer from cultural stigma attached to this, possible but they will not have to watch their parents go through a messy divorce that they somehow feel responsible for. So if the choice is between a Marriage that would end in Divorce, or a single parent to begin with. Choose the single parent as less damaging on the child. If your worried about the "spoiled rotten" factor have two... I applaud anyone willng to be a single parent by choice. Due to the High Divorce rate all the helpful community programs are allready set up so use them.

I have nothing against single mothers. However, making yourself a single mom on purpose is ludacris. No matter how committed and loving, it does'nt make up for not having a father. A mother and father balance in child rearing is essential, not only for the child but for the mother as well. This is important, and I think the women who do the "turkey baster" thing are desperate and acting irresponsibly. Oh well, just my 2 cents.

Well, that's a no-brainer. Women are choosing this route because they've finally learned that even if you do find a suitable mate, he's not likely to stick around anyway, let alone actively participate and contribute(financially or otherwise). Why not fly solo? You're going to end up shouldering all the responsibility anyway. It's just a painful reality of our culture that most people can't be counted on for anything -- except an attitude of entitlement. Male, female, straight, gay, partnered, single, whatever... If you as an individual are positioned to raise a child responsibly and choose to do that, then that is your right. Just don't expect anyone else to bear the cost or consequences of your choices.

It is a complete cop-out to say that women who are still single after a certain age are selfish horrible human beings who are only alone because of some personality problem.

I know many smart pretty fun PHD educated women who cannot find a man in his late twenties/early thirities who can handle the fact that his mate is more educated or makes more money than him. This inspiring women are already discriminated against by men who tell them they're strength makes them too threatening to mate with and by a society that says that since no man wants to marry them they must have something wrong with them.

Wouldn't it be better for a child to have one parent who is smart, successful and teaches them they can do anything than to have two parents who teach thier daughters that their only value to teh world is to marry young and have thier own kids. Better hope your daughters are pretty and dumb fellas otherwise they may be in trouble.

I think this is awesome! I am a single parent of 3 children, ages 7, 6 and 4. I did not plan on being a single mom but now I wouldn't have it any other way. I am greedy for my babies-I don't want to share them with anyone. I love being the one that is there for every step and stumble.

I am not married but I have two kids and I'm still with there father. I think that things don't always turn out the way that you want them to. Many of us want the perfect family but we don't realize that the perfect family doesn't excist. We can't keep a man attached to us because of our kids inorder for them to grow up with both there mother and father. The only ones that end up getting hurt the most will be our kids. If certain women want to raise there kids on their own then people shouldn't judge because is hard to find a good man now a days. Men are mostly about them first and then their family.