Knocking Yourself Up

stop thinking of yourself, how will the child like not having a dad (SELFISH PEOPLE)

From the beginning God created Adam and Eve, and they became the mother and father of this existing world we live in. God created every living cell in our bodies, and knows what is best for us. His example was a Adam and Eve united in one flesh through him. My question...is how can a single parent set the example of how to contribute to a successful family? Could this be the reason men have problems stepping up and being real fathers? Is this the reason people search for a fantasy love instead of realizing the contributions that a successful family needs? Then we have the ever increasing divorce rate that leads to single parents. The bottom line is that we need to learn the importance of the example parents show their children of how to love each other and contribute to the different roles of family life. One day the child of that single parent may be a partner in a marriage, will they have a genuine example to follow?

After waiting years to find Mr. Right, I met a "Reasonable Catch"at the age of 38. We married and had infertility issues. I then chose donor eggs and after 4 rounds of invitro, I conceived twins. I am now a single, well educated, professional who would have preferred to be a mom 100% of the time. I also find that our fighting and bitter battles over who should legitimately have the kids is too stressful on life. I waited to have the proper home and marriage and I wish I hadn't. I will now tell my girl's to get their education first, family second, but if they can't find Mr. Right when they are ready to have a child, I will support them in any way that I can. Life is changing. It takes an entire community to have a child. But LOVE, in a stable environment, is the most important thing.

Being a single mother is very hard, even at 27. I have a 4 yr old daughter whos father left us last year to be with someone else. I myself grew up with out a father and I didn't end up being preg. as a teen. I think that it's all in how you are raised. If you have a loving, caring, responsible parent, mom or dad, that you are growing up with then who cares.

I beleive by doing this we are playing God. In God's structure, he intended to have a woman and a man to fulfill one another in all ways, including the creation of a child. By this artificial route, we are saying think you God for your plan, but I think I can do it my way better. It is seriously sad when a woman cannot have a man in their prime years. If having a child is the main issue, there are thousands of children waiting for loving parent to adopt them. Ultimately, if it can be pulled off, a child needs a mother and father in order to give them the best, most rounded life.

I have been reading some of the comments and so many of you are completely missing the point. I don't believe the issue is who has better parenting skills - single or married parents. You could be the most skillful, wonderful single mother in the world, but you can never, ever be a FATHER. And children need fathers. Feminists have completely de-valued fathers and men in our society, but it is a proven fact that the male-female balance of a mother and father is the best environment for raising children. Now of course, there are people like gramma [11/02/2005 12:35:43 PM] who choose to marry jerks and then complain that all fathers are useless. Well, what can we say ??? if you marry a jerk, you???re probably going to get divorced and that is a sad situation, but it should not be viewed as good for the children. There have been so many studies showing how children from single or divorced homes don't do as well as children from traditional two-parent homes. This is not to say there aren't exceptions and definitely not to say that these children are less smart, capable, talented, but rather that they will have more social problems. This was another common misperception among the comments. Girls growing up without a father often get knocked up as teens or run away with some guy, seeking male love to replace the father they never had. Boys without fathers tend to act out because there is no one to show them how to be a man. There is no way anyone will ever convince me that it is a GOOD thing to be a single mother. And I believe that women who purposefully do this to children are very wrong. I know according to the liberal mentality, it's not ok to pass judgment on this kind of behavior. But liberals themselves judge those who don't agree with them and I believe that it is our job to makes judgments between right and wrong, good and evil.

I'm only 19 years old...Nowhere close to even thinking about having a child, but I do have opinions on this. I strongly believe that a woman can give birth and raise a child without a partner at her side. No one is saying that a man doesn't bring anything into the upbringing of a child, but what if a woman hasn't found the right guy, or has just been single for way too long and is ready to become a mother?
But I do believe that if you are thinking about this procedure, you should make sure that you can take care of the baby and your economic needs. There is a difference between single high-school mothers and a single woman with a career ready (emotionally and economically) to become a parent.
A woman shouldn't have to worry about what others will say because they are single parents, because this shouldn't be a public concern. If you are ready you should do it. Remember that you aren't the first or the last single mother that this world has seen...

Has anyone considered that due to all the anonymity going on with the new styles of conceiving, multiple fathers to children, and donor sperm that we may in fact be setting brothers, sisters, and cousins up for mating with a close relative? i am certain that this situation has probably occurred many times over.

stop thinking about yourself and think how the kid will like not having a dad (selfish people)

Oh great, more bastard children out there. Many people believe the idea that women are the reason why this countries family values have gone down the tube. I see so many women struggling to keep their job and support their children 100 percent, I say again 100 percent. Most single moms that I know have children who are on the wrong side of the law. I know this sounds crazy but are our children getting better or are they getting worse. If your marriage didn't work its probably because you didn't work on your marriage. Having a job and contributing to family 100 percent doesn't seem to work. If you want to be alone than that is your choice, being lonely is not a good reason to attempt to have kids and support them into productive adults.
Children with bad fathers or mothers may be an acception. Not all women are great mothers and doorways will be opened for bad "parent" and social service will not have a choice on who will take care of them. Women are always wanting change and it may be for the better, but this world isn't getting any better due to the previous changes.

This is a rather sad concept many women have to face. I would like children one day but not without the love and support of a husband to help raise the child. If not having children is in the cards for me then so be it. Either way, it's a choice every woman who is contemplating having a baby without the "love sperm" to do it.

WWJD

If men are not willing to marry their girlfriends and start families why should that stop a woman from being a mother? If she has the means and wants to choose that path then I support her. It might be a little more difficult but then again at least you are not arguing over what is best for the child either. If men have such a problem maybe they should do something about it like not taking for granted the women in their lives. If a man raises a child by himself we think he is a hero figure, but we critize women for being on their own? I thing that is wrong. If a woman wants to raise children on her own support her. It may be that she did not find a guy to marry or she was not inclined to that lifestyle or a mirad of other reasons but that should stop children from having loving mothers. I admire you single Mothers!!

I think being a parent is a great experience, whether in a relationship or single. I would hope individuals would choose single parenting over choosing a partner, who wasn't the "right" one, and going through life without following their dreams. Nevertheless, I believe education and financial stability is a plus in parenting. I have been a single mom for most of the past nineteen years. I received my education, and am still attending school, throughout that time. It has been very difficult. Because of this, I believe becoming a parent later in life helps with the "parent guilt" of being so busy. All in all, to all those individuals who haven't met the right person and want to be a parent, I say Go For It!
Charlene

I am a married woman and am looking forward to having children and raising them with my husband. I think these single women who have not yet found "Mr. Right" are the most selfish, self-centered people. Because they "want" children but didn't have time to find a mate, they think it's perfectly ok to raise a child in single parent household. Here to tell you it's not ok. Wake up people, you may be smart and educated and come up with all the excuses in the world on why you didn't marry or have kids when you were younger,..the bottom line is YOU ARE BEING SELFISH. You are denying your child of having 2 loving parents take an interest in them. As much as you love and provide for them, there will always be an empty spot in their lives. When your child asks, "Who's my Daddy?" What are you gonna say? Sperm donor #2? I'm sorry, but to me that's just not acceptable. Women these days are so busy working on their careers, they seem to forget about the "little things" in life like raising a family. Now I'm certainly not saying that women can't have their careers and be successful, but you have to make a choice sometimes. You either take some time out to have a family, or you continue working without one. And when I say family, that includes some sort of partner. I may sound so old fashioned and you probably think I grew up in some rural area...that couldn't be further from the truth. I was born and raised in the city and I'm only 28. But I do have my beliefs and morals, and I'm sorry I just can NOT agree with a woman's decision to have a baby alone because she "wants one".

I am a single mother and have been for the last 16 yrs of my sons life. Which is to say he is now 16. There is nothing wrong with him at all. He is an honor roll student, has only missed 4 days of school in 7 yrs. Is not one of those kids that hang out on the street corners with his friends and does his chores when he is suppose to. He is also a very leveled headed kid for his age. And he is the type to save you money when food shopping and say can we get this , can we get that. He is the opposit. We don't need that, or we don't need this. I couldn't have asked for a better child. He is the world to me, and I don't think he would be this way if there had been 2 parents. I am not finacially stable by any means, but when I got pregnant, I had a choice. I made the choice that I was ready for. I was in my 20's when I had him, I know that is young compared to know but at that point I was ready. He will be graduating from high school in 2 yrs and he has plans to go to college. To be honest, he has no choice but to go to college. I am strick, but not to the point where he resents me. I give him the ability to make a choice and to stick by it, whether its wrong or right. And he gets all the help he wants when he needs it. So there is nothing wrong with being a single mother, at times yes, it can get a little tough but you make it through it not just for you, but for your child.

Wow. There are some really strong opinions here. "Selfish", "inconsiderate," "depriving", "self-centered," "wrong" .... them's fightin words. What about the woman who isn't any of those things and, yet, hasn't been blessed with a husband/significant other with whom she can make a baby? That can happen - there are lots of situations out there ... none of which can be treated with a one-size-fits-all solution. If a woman is considering having a baby with No. 2, she should be well-informed and make her decision along with the support and feedback from those around her. Until you've walked a mile in someone else's shoes, how can you know whether their choice is right or wrong?

How is a it a harm to a child when you decided to have them. I mean some kids do not really need a mom or a dad because one or both parents are not always best anyway. It is a good idea for children to have both parents but not alway. Some just chose to live their life without a man. Which I see anything wrong with that. The kids will not understand right away, but as they grow up and if they are wise or understanding they will understand why their mom did what she did. Some people do not think its all about them or anything.

I am saddened, disgusted, understanding, and confused, all at once. I am a 27 year old African American women who has a postgraduate degree. As a matter of fact, pratically all of my friends are in their late 20s and early 30s, are African American, have Master's degrees or PhDs, and are single. While I do not have the desire to be a mother or a wife, my friends do and all are considering either a life without a husband and children or the "turkey baster" route. "Why," you ask. Well, it is simply because men do not approach us and do not find us desirable. This is an issue that no one discusses, how there are attractive (and not overweight) educated African American women who men run from. So, perhaps we should all say that men envision a world without us. That is silly. We need to examine what is the issue, when has it become about this and what is out of sync with our world where men and women cannot simply get together, marry, live and simply be. Sighhhh