Knocking Yourself Up

Those who willingly become single moms are selfish and do not consider how their childer are impacted by this. My father passed away when I was 4 and TO THIS DAY I wished he could have been alive MUCH longer. To want to raise a child without the father is SELFISH ! I was deprived the experience of my dad teaching me how to play baseball, ride a bike, tie a tie, shave, ask a girl out on a date, teach me about safesex and just be a model oh how a good man shold carry themselves, I was VERY lucky that I had my mom and other family members to tell me what kind of man he was so I would know how I should be. I would give ANYTHING to have my dad alive to raise me. HOW could someone be so selfish to deprive a child that experience. You should ask children who had no fathers in their lives FIRST how it was before them. Having a child is NOT like buying a puppy!!!!

Those who willingly become single moms are selfish and do not consider how their childer are impacted by this. My father passed away when I was 4 and TO THIS DAY I wished he could have been alive MUCH longer. To want to raise a child without the father is SELFISH ! I was deprived the experience of my dad teaching me how to play baseball, ride a bike, tie a tie, shave, ask a girl out on a date, teach me about safesex and just be a model oh how a good man shold carry themselves, I was VERY lucky that I had my mom and other family members to tell me what kind of man he was so I would know how I should be. I would give ANYTHING to have my dad alive to raise me. HOW could someone be so selfish to deprive a child that experience. You should ask children who had no fathers in their lives FIRST how it was before them. Having a child is NOT like buying a puppy!!!!

I think that this rising phenonmenon is very sad. No woman can ever replace the benefits and emotional support that a real flesh and blood father can provide his child. An uncle, male cousin, grandfather, nephew, best friend---all of these are not going to replace a biological father and the social benefits he provides.
Women that CHOOSE single mom-hood are extremely self-centered and selfish people. If destiny happens to leave a woman raising her kids alone that's one thing but to choose to bring children into the world without a real father---that's selfish and wrong.

i admire the women willing to go into parenthood alone. I too am a single mother, but i give my daughter all the love and attention she needs. Sure having a husband/father in the household would be nice, but sometimes that isnt the case. Why is it that just becasue youre not married, youre not allowed to enjoy parenthood? Shouldnt a child be given the oppurtunity to be loved?

who cares about the mother. This should be about the child. Speaking from experience, other male role models help but its not the same. My father died when i was 10, and as a young boy without a father i felt very isolated. I would particulary avoid the subject until i was about 16-17years old. So, intentionally doing this seems abit short sided on the part of a woman. Don't just think about yourself, think about the child.

Women Can and DO have babies and they WANT TO -so I'm for them to have one if they want.

I think it is fine for a woman to choose to have a child without another parential figure involved. My opinion is because children, or people for that matter are made to be born. If you have enough love and more than love, education, financial stability (basically essentials for the child to be raised in a healthy loving environment) that child will be the product of a single raised child - their personal challenge in life which may cause postiive or negative imprints in the world. However, you can not say that the only way for a single woman to have a baby should be with Mr. Right because maybe Mr. Right was that Spirm Donation - maybe that was meant for the childs life and destiny. As long as you can provide a stable loving environment for a child, they will grow up as healthy individuals, glad to live, and of course everyone has some struggles to over-come in their life-they will get over having one parent that loved them. Typically a woman wants a child because she wants to continue her genes, love that child and have a family - it doesn't matter if it's with a sperm doner or the man of her dreams in my opinion.

I agree with gramma! There is more to being a father than contributing the sperm. I was married to a man that doesn't know what the word "Father" means. If I had to do it all over again, I would pick the turkey baster! I did get two wonderful children out of the deal, but as my daughter once said when I told her that if I hadn't married her father, I wouldn't have her and her brother - she said "Yes you would, but we would look a little different"

Considering the jackass our daughter is divorcing, our grandkids would have been better off if their father was a turkey baster instead of the totally useless thing they're stuck with. Our grandkids are a lot better off in a single parent home than with a ignorant, negative screamer who thought more of buying out Costco for himself than putting food on the table.

forget how the single mothers... how does this affect the child? That's the question people should be asking. From experience, i know that it is extremely difficult for a young boy growing up without a father (he died when i was 10). I did have other male role models. But it wasn't the same. You are setting your child up for lots of emotional trauma, i'm telling you now...

Sorry, but it should be left up to God.

I still think it should be left up to God.

I'm so sick of the men my age who've been raised "squishy" by single mothers. It's just going to get worse. Children need some type ot balance of influence, whether it be male/female or a gay couple - TWO people to provide some balance. People say couples who choose to remain childfree at selfish? Hardly. These women are unbelievably selfish people.

Considering the jackass my daughter married--and is now in the process of divorcing--she and her kids would have been better off had their father been a turkey baster!

It is odd that the posting by aji_889 assumes that parent teams of a mother and father provide the seemingly magic amount of time spent with their children that single women or men apparantly cannot. The involvement of two people does not necessarily mean that time is doubly contributed to the raising of children. It is insulting that the comment also implies that these single women are thinking that having a child is like getting a goldfish. As a single woman with a Ph.D. and secure job who is seriously coming up with a plan to go at parenthood alone, I found that opinion troubling. I spent my twenties pursuing my Ph.D. and financial independence. That may or may not mean that I also gave up opportunities to be part of a "traditional setup" (which I find a troubling prescriptive model anyway), but I do not believe it should mean that I gave up my chance to have a child. Yes, single parents must be prepared for the consequences, but shouldn't we also be allowed to enjoy the beauty of parenthood? Is that something only married people are entitled to? Divorced couples who have children quite often end up suffering the consequences of parenting, so should they also be advised to be prepared for such a "calamity"?

I have little doubt about the empirical nature of the studies mentioned in this text (after all, no decent writer would have the guts to fabricate papers and data just to prove a point). However, being a male child of a single mom, I find that people often generalize too much when it comes to these matters. I don't care how many actuarists and statisticians are hired to make any conclusive evidence regarding such important things. From my own experience, however, I can say that while success is not entirely unattainable for these types of families, or for individuals coming from these families, it is considerably harder for single parents to raise children on their own and it is also harder for the children of these families.

Having kids is not as easy getting a goldfish from a pet store. You can't have kids just because you want them, even if you are smart and educated and can earn seven times more money than your average couple. Because even more than your money or your education, your children would need your time and your caring, and the alternative family setup isn't exaclty something that could suffice. Yes you could care more for your children than any other mom in the worldcares for her children. But in this setup, you simply can't work and be there at the same time. I am not being anti-feminist here. If you people knew how much I admire my (very single) mother, for her strength and fortitude, you would not see this as an anti-feminist comment.

What I would like, however, is for people to see that while recommendations for a more traditional setup may at first seem to go against their modernity and feminism, it could be easier and far more practical. No doubt, your child would love you more for your effort.as a single mom. It's just that, if you do choose to have children as a single parent you HAVE to be prepared for the consequences. And they will be dire, I assure you, I've been there. My mom and I HAVE been there.