Knocking Yourself Up

I am neither a conservative Christian or liberal, but the familial path, or lack thereof, we are on is tearing the very fabric of our society. On a fundamental and simple level, our biology and culture for the last 10,000 years has dictated that 1 man and 1 woman come together and create life. The man has his role and the woman hers, each to be respected equally. A child needs a loving two parent household to be safe and secure. That is not to say that a 1 parent household cannot accomplish raising a child, but there is much more stress and that fact pattern runs a higher risk of disciplinary issues. The 1 parent household should be the exception, not the norm.
I am a Gen-X'er and I believe that the baby boomers selfish-ness has really done a disservice to this country. Look at how progressive the greatest generation was. Going from Model T's to the moon in their lifetime. What have the boomers done? They are like the trust fund babies living it up because of their parents hard work and sacrifice. And its that selfishness that lends someone like a Carrie Bradshaw to think of herself and her happiness first and not of the potential child's wellbeing growing up. My generation and my sons generation are going to be cleaning up the political and social mess that the baby boomers wrought on the country for years to come. The best we can do is start going back to the fundamentals, beacuase they work and have worked for millenia.

I have always wanted children and If I dont get married by 36, I am going to have my baby with or with out a husband..... I am educated with a great job and can afford to take care of a child on my own. Why should I have to pass on having a child just because I did not meet mister right before my time ran out

It has been my experience that at least in some part Single girls who claim they can not find "Mr. Right" often need to redefine "Mr. Right". While this may be the exception rather than the rule I worry about a person raising a child that has these issues. Example: I have a friend that constantly complains about not being able to meet "Mr. Right??? but since she defines "Mr. Right" as a 6ft green eyed Christian who has never done drugs does not smoke or drink and makes at least 60,000 per year, (Yes this is her actual description) her chances of ever finding this guy are slim an none. Mr. Right can and will likely have some flaws. But my point is that if a person has placed strict standards for herself on what is acceptable in a husband is that person not also likely to push those beliefs off on there child. While this friend is normally a well adjusted successful person when it comes to social situations she is about as prepared as a fish out of water in the desert. Of course you can go the other direction as well. I have another friend in a similar situation that complains contently about meeting Mr. Wrong. If you only ever look in a bar full of half intoxicated men what did you expect really? Now for the part where I likely loose your attention when I point out that I myself am a single male. why do I point this out? Simple, I am single and while I am not the best looking guy in any situation I am overlooked constantly by girls who would prefer to target the Brad Pitt Image. This may be shocking for many to know but I have heard that Brad Pitt is incredibly shallow. Is it wrong for me to find these type of books and articles disturbing when all I have ever wanted to do is offer all the love in the world to a woman who will love me back. Instead though I am constantly put in a situation were I watch a girl I like enter a destructive relationship where the guy she is dating is more concerned about the type of moose he uses than whether or not she is happy. Personally I would like to see Disney remake snow white and ok so maybe the blond model of perfection prince charming did not show up to wake her but what about Charles a 250 lb average guy who can only offer an average life but we still live happily ever after.

This seems to be a topic of much debate. The first thing that comes to mind is the show Grey's Anatomy. If any of you have watched the show you know there is a character named Addison, who wants a child so badly it hurts, but finds out she has two eggs left. She is 'all dried up' because she waited too long to have kids, because Mr. Right didn't happen. Most women in today's society believe Mr. Right will happen to them if they wait long enough. Trouble is ladies, the number of women far out weigh the number of men, so unless you're looking for a polygamist, your chances are a bit lower than a man to find your One and Only. Having a baby by yourself, while I do not necesarily agree with it, is right for some women. Given the choice between never becoming a mother and becoming a mother of a sperm bank baby, I would choose the baby. The joys of motherhood should be experienced by everyone at least once. Yes...there will be trying times ahead when your child looks at you and wants to know who their father is, but they will have you, their mother. They will have life because of you. Everything else will fall into line....

come on folks. Single mothers have been around since time began. Yes it would be wonderful if all kids were raised by a mommy and a daddy but that just doesnt happen in the majority. With wars and crime and just plain old wandering eyes there are more kids living with a single parent than anyone wants to count. If you start out in a loving two parent home and end up with one of the parents walking out for greener pastures you still have a single parent home. I have three lovely daughters who are getting excellent grades, volunteer, do after school plays and other activities and are not going to be single teenage mothers. No matter who raises the child you have to pay attention to the child and teach them to care for themselves and then they will respect themselves enough to know they can wait. You dont NEED a mommy and a daddy to have a healthy kid, you just need involved parents who dont decide that everyone else is responsible for their child's behavior

For those who didn???t read the entire article, or just glossed the parts that they agreed with, there is ???substantially fewer differences??? between single and two-parent families who have higher education. It doesn???t seem appropriate to judge a college-educated mother in her 40s with a career using teenage pregnancy data to explain the dangers of childhood development related to single parenting. If this is a gender related autopsy I would generalize that there is a bigger issue with men avoiding fatherhood. After all, it is now a reported fact that our current society is less accommodating for younger adults to have children than what their parents experienced 25-30 years ago. The tax deduction of having a child use to cover the actual cost of raising a child. Many parts of the nation wages are stagnate, mortgage rates have gone through the roof, medical bills have induced critical debt, and student loans are taking longer to pay off. As a result, more and more woman are waiting to have children later in life which I believe is better than unplanned pregnancies followed by shotgun weddings. If two-parent homes were that essential to a child???s development then have your government start assigning fathers to single mothers, ban turkey basters, and mandate reproduction licensing for registered parents. Are you ready to go down that road?

I can see why someone would want to do this. But by doing this, you are denying the child the benefits of having a mother and father. What if one day the child would wake up and ask "Who is my daddy?" What would you be saying to the child. WOuld you tell the child some wild concocted story? Or would you tell them that they came from the sperm bank? There are alot of benefits of raising the child in a traditional family home. Two males or two females-that would be confusing even more so in this type of situation. You run the risk of "How come I have two mommies/daddies?" "How can two mommies/daddies have a baby" These are just some of the concerns that I have when a *** or gay male uses this type of method to get a child. May God have mercy on your souls. "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do."

I understand the urge to pass on your DNA might be quite strong, but these single women who yearn for motherhood might have a greater impact by adopting a child. Why create a life with the disadvantages of single parenthood, when you can elevate the status of a child who is already disadvantaged even more by not having ANY parents?

And for folks who have kids with a guy who soon departs and does not involve himself with his child, please ladies... take more time to evaluate the type of man you sleep with and create life with. There are so many birth control options available that one should have more than enough time to examine the character of a man before allowing him to father your child. Make sure the relationship or marriage is going to last first. If you're engaging in casual sex, make him cover it up, and you use some form of birth control as a backup. Just because a man was able to provide you with a good orgasm doesn't mean he is responsible enough to be a good father. There are options to separate sex from childbirth... USE THEM!

I think it???s ridiculous how the majority of women who have commented here, blame MEN (as a whole) for this problem. I???m a man and I???m not abusive, I???m not an alcoholic and if I actually wanted children, I wouldn???t leave them or suddenly become abusive (although I???m sure most women on here would hope I do since they love to bash men). I???m sick of hearing all this b/s from women blaming men for all their problems.

So what???s the best solution to all this crap? Gender segregation.

If the genders were segregated this wouldn???t be a problem. If so many women despise men so much, want nothing to do with men and actually believe that all men (or majority) abuse and rape, perhaps it would be better if there was gender segregation. If men are so useless and dumb and sick, why don???t you all go make your own female utopia? Set up a sperm bank, pay the males on their ???side??? to send sperm over until female scientists can figure out a way for women to have children without any aspect or need of a male. While they???re at it, maybe try and develop a way for women to have female children only ??? end the need for males, because after all, boys grow up to be men, and the majority of women hate men and want nothing to do with them. As for the men on the male side who have their ???needs???, I???m sure there would be a few women who wouldn???t mind hopping the fence for some extra cash every now and then. If women are so independent now, and fathers are essentially useless pigs in the eyes of women, maybe gender segregation is the best way to go. It would end sexism, it would end discrimination based on gender and women could live in their all female utopia without men.

Gender segregation = problem solved.

It has been my experience that at least in some part Single girls who claim they can not find "Mr. Right" often need to redefine "Mr. Right". While this may be the exception rather than the rule I worry about a person raising a child that has these issues. Example: I have a friend that constantly complains about not being able to meet "Mr. Right??? but since she defines "Mr. Right" as a 6ft green eyed Christian who has never done drugs does not smoke or drink and makes at least 60,000 per year, (Yes this is her actual description) her chances of ever finding this guy are slim an none. Mr. Right can and will likely have some flaws. But my point is that if a person has placed strict standards for herself on what is acceptable in a husband is that person not also likely to push those beliefs off on there child. While this friend is normally a well adjusted successful person when it comes to social situations she is about as prepared as a fish out of water in the desert. Of course you can go the other direction as well. I have another friend in a similar situation that complains contently about meeting Mr. Wrong. If you only ever look in a bar full of half intoxicated men what did you expect really? Now for the part where I likely loose your attention when I point out that I myself am a single male. why do I point this out? Simple, I am single and while I am not the best looking guy in any situation I am overlooked constantly by girls who would prefer to target the Brad Pitt Image. This may be shocking for many to know but I have heard that Brad Pitt is incredibly shallow. Is it wrong for me to find these type of books and articles disturbing when all I have ever wanted to do is offer all the love in the world to a woman who will love me back. Instead though I am constantly put in a situation were I watch a girl I like enter a destructive relationship where the guy she is dating is more concerned about the type of moose he uses than whether or not she is happy. Personally I would like to see Disney remake snow white and ok so maybe the blond model of perfection prince charming did not show up to wake her but what about Charles a 250 lb average guy who can only offer an average life but we still live happily ever after.

It's sad that so many depict a woman making the choice to have a child as a single parent as selfish, if the woman chooses to go to a sperm bank instead of getting "knocked up" the traditional way, yet I'm guessing those of you who are judging would also be equally ugly in your judgements if the same woman was knocked up by traditional means and then making the choice not to be a mother after all. Just the nine months of pregnancy alone are extremely difficult, can be painful and dangerous, and that's before having to deal with being responsible for another living being OUTSIDE of one's body and making certain that that person grows up to be a responsible human (and I'm guessing the women profiled in the book all have that objective in mind, not "oh hey, I'll have a baby I can raise to be substandard and a criminal". It is not a selfish act, but one that does require the right kind of financial and psychological resources to do well.