Knocking Yourself Up

I really don't think the education level of a mother is really that important. You can read books on how to dance. You might be able to sing and never miss an episode of those dance TV shows, but some people just suck at dancing and have to do the best they can. Parenting can be alot like a dance. There's steps you have to wing. You have to interact constantly and there's no use in trying to do it all by yourself. Highschool dropouts can be amazing dancers and the PhD sociologist who proved that loving children is paramount to their development was reportedly a detatched all around bad father. I really don't see this type of thing being standard. I think it's more just fashionable interesting reading. Girls Girls, make that cash. -D money.

I really don't think the education level of a mother is really that important. You can read books on how to dance. You might be able to sing and never miss an episode of those dance TV shows, but some people just suck at dancing and have to do the best they can. Parenting can be alot like a dance. There's steps you have to wing. You have to interact constantly and there's no use in trying to do it all by yourself. Highschool dropouts can be amazing dancers and the PhD sociologist who proved that loving children is paramount to their development was reportedly a detatched all around bad father. I really don't see this type of thing being standard. I think it's more just fashionable interesting reading. Girls Girls, make that cash. -D money.

I get tired of this subject because it is redundant at best. I was raised in a two parent household until my parents divorced when I was eleven. My mother raised my brother and I as a single mother not by choice but by way of circumstances. Even without my father around my mother put both me and my brother through college and we both have well paying jobs. I too was a single mother at one point and that was also not by choice. I do not feel it is fair to categorize all single mothers as bad people or to tell them that their children will be disadvantaged because they did not have a father in the home. I have spoken with many women both single and married who grew up in a two parent home and their father???s still weren???t there. They didn???t chip in and do the things for them that father were supposed to do. Did they turn out better than I did just because they had a man in the house? No. I have accomplished far more than most of them have. I think it depends on the person who is raising the child and their moral code rather than who sits at the dinner table every night.

This seems to be a topic of much debate. The first thing that comes to mind is the show Grey's Anatomy. If any of you have watched the show you know there is a character named Addison, who wants a child so badly it hurts, but finds out she has two eggs left. She is 'all dried up' because she waited too long to have kids, because Mr. Right didn't happen. Most women in today's society believe Mr. Right will happen to them if they wait long enough. Trouble is ladies, the number of women far out weigh the number of men, so unless you're looking for a polygamist, your chances are a bit lower than a man to find your One and Only. Having a baby by yourself, while I do not necesarily agree with it, is right for some women. Given the choice between never becoming a mother and becoming a mother of a sperm bank baby, I would choose the baby. The joys of motherhood should be experienced by everyone at least once. Yes...there will be trying times ahead when your child looks at you and wants to know who their father is, but they will have you, their mother. They will have life because of you. Everything else will fall into line....

I am neither a conservative Christian or liberal, but the familial path, or lack thereof, we are on is tearing the very fabric of our society. On a fundamental and simple level, our biology and culture for the last 10,000 years has dictated that 1 man and 1 woman come together and create life. The man has his role and the woman hers, each to be respected equally. A child needs a loving two parent household to be safe and secure. That is not to say that a 1 parent household cannot accomplish raising a child, but there is much more stress and that fact pattern runs a higher risk of disciplinary issues. The 1 parent household should be the exception, not the norm.
I am a Gen-X'er and I believe that the baby boomers selfish-ness has really done a disservice to this country. Look at how progressive the greatest generation was. Going from Model T's to the moon in their lifetime. What have the boomers done? They are like the trust fund babies living it up because of their parents hard work and sacrifice. And its that selfishness that lends someone like a Carrie Bradshaw to think of herself and her happiness first and not of the potential child's wellbeing growing up. My generation and my sons generation are going to be cleaning up the political and social mess that the baby boomers wrought on the country for years to come. The best we can do is start going back to the fundamentals, beacuase they work and have worked for millenia.

Statistics have proven that a child raised by a father and mother have fewer problems as teenagers and adults. There is a higher graduation rates and lower suicide rates for teenagers and lower additctive problems for adults. Both the emotional and financial outcomes have been studied ad nauseum for children and the outcome is still the same. For the long-term benefit of the child and the country, a male and female couple give the best possible chance for a child to make it in this complicated society we live in today.

Statistically, it has been proven over the last 30 to 40 years that children that have a family of a mother and father grow up emotionally and financially far better off. Higher graduation rates and less suicide attempts as teenagers, better incomes as adults, fewer addictive tendencies towards alchohol or drugs, the list goes on. Many people want to ignore the facts to better position themselves, but children are the losers in this debate.

When growing up I had repeated over and over that I wanted children but no husband. Unfortunately, I succombed to pressure and tried the mariiage, which failed miserably. I raised two incredible children alone, without any support or help by their father (his decision) and wouldn't have changed a thing, except I should have followed through with my original plan and never got married. Neither one of my kids have ever been in "trouble", no drugs, no pregnancies, no arrest, and they are open minded, independent, compassionate individuals. ONe is in college and the other will be graduating in the spring and heading off to college. I could have gone farther up the ladder in my career but I choose to be there for my kids more and let the ladder wait. I don't regret it at all. It may have been a little harder financially but it was worth it.

to be raised in a single parent household is not the best situation for a child. A child is always better off with a mother and father, both play different needed roles in the life of a child. However, it is not always possible, Parents die, get divorced, etc. and a child can still turn out wonderfully with only one parent, father or mother. I however believe this should be the exception and not the norm. I do not believe women or men should be chosing to have children without the presence of a spouse. Children need structure and a father and a mother.

to be raised in a single parent household is not the best situation for a child. A child is always better off with a mother and father, both play different needed roles in the life of a child. However, it is not always possible, Parents die, get divorced, etc. and a child can still turn out wonderfully with only one parent, father or mother. I however believe this should be the exception and not the norm. I do not believe women or men should be chosing to have children without the presence of a spouse. Children need structure and a father and a mother.

to be raised in a single parent household is not the best situation for a child. A child is always better off with a mother and father, both play different needed roles in the life of a child. However, it is not always possible, Parents die, get divorced, etc. and a child can still turn out wonderfully with only one parent, father or mother. I however believe this should be the exception and not the norm. I do not believe women or men should be chosing to have children without the presence of a spouse. Children need structure and a father and a mother.

Good greif, after reading so many comments about the environment I grew-up in -- that is, being raised by a single Mom -- it's apparently amazing that I didn't end-up in prison. :) Speaking as an adult, reasonably well-adjusted and reasonably successful child of a single parent, I can say that the advantages and disadvantages I had compared to friends with two parents pretty much balanced each other out -- looking back I don't think anyone had a huge leg-up over me simply because they had two parents.

I'm fortunate to have an awesome Mom who provided a great environment for me to grow-up -- and I have friends with two parents who also had great experiences growing up. It's not about having two parents, it's about having either one or two who know what they're doing. :P

I really find this article irrelevant. Since 1995 in my part of the country, there are more mothers giving up custody of their children to the non-custodial father. The evidence I have to back up this claim are two child support case workers whom I???m very close to told me in passing conversations that 60 percent of their clients are women who pay child support to the fathers and that percentage is growing. These women weren???t deemed unfit mothers by the state, they???re either tired or burnt out from motherhood and they find it more rewarding to pursue their careers and other interests then motherhood. Also, there are 6 single fathers working in my office who???ll validate this claim. So the days of the typical single mother are long gone (at least in this region of the country), but because of society???s view of mothers who voluntary give up their children, this will fly underneath the radar for a very long time unless you???re in the know.

It's amazing how anyone could criticize these women for being "selfish". They are selfish for giving life? THey are selfish for being willing to give so much to a child? They are selfish to want to give their love to their kids? Sure, it's better to have a dad. It's also better to be disease-free, rich, great-looking and living in a developed country. Are women in poor countrie selfish becasue they procreate? Nobody would be as un-PC as to say that. It's not selfish to bring children into less than ideal lives....it's only selfish to have kids you don't intend to take care of---both marrieds and unmarrieds do that. Do some kids from single parent homes miss having their dad? Of course...but ask them if they'd rather be dead and I bet they'd all prefer to be alive....so it's selfish to allow them life? I don't get it. And who on this board is blaming the dads for walking away...why are you blaming the woman . . . 9 times out of 10, it's the men that walk away. What are you supposed to do, kill yourself and your kids because your man left? Nobody saying men aren't important but talk to most single moms...they wish they had a good man...but there aren't many of those to choose from. Stop blaming the women for wanting to love and be loved...isn't anything more beautiful than that.

I really find this article irrelevant. Since 1995 in my part of the country, there are more mothers giving up custody of their children to the non-custodial father. The evidence I have to back up this claim are two child support case workers whom I???m very close to told me in passing conversations that 60 percent of their clients are women who pay child support to the fathers and that percentage is growing. These women weren???t deemed unfit mothers by the state, they???re either tired or burnt out from motherhood and they find it more rewarding to pursue their careers and other interests then motherhood. Also, there are 6 single fathers working in my office who???ll validate this claim. So the days of the typical single mother are long gone (at least in this region of the country), but because of society???s view of mothers who voluntary give up their children, this will fly underneath the radar for a very long time unless you???re in the know.