Knocking Yourself Up

Rustman1980

I suppose I'll have to explore it a little more. I like to think of myself as an "old-fashioned" woman who lets her man BE a man. Hope you find your Donna Reed! : ) (really, I didn't mean that sarcastically)

I am completely amazed at the ignorance in which some people insist on revealing. There is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with being a single mother. My dead-beat father left my mother for a younger woman when I was only 7 years old. He NEVER paid child support and never offered any emotional support nonetheless. So, does that mean that I have turned out to be a horrible person, scarred by an absent father figure? Am I really just another "bastard child" who has grown up to be a disfunctional adult? Not so much folks. I DID have many disadvantages as a young girl, and my childhood did not fit the perfect mold that "society" deems "normal" and "right". I was, however, very loved and supported by those who chose to stick around. I learned how to work hard for what I want and how to choose QUALITY company. I graduated from Harvard University with a bachelor's in Business Management and then proceeded to earn an MBA from Wharton University 3 years ago. I am now 28 years old. I have a fantastic husband and 2 year old. I am by NO MEANS perfect and neither is anyone else! I know that I have done things in my own life that "society" looks down on, just as EVERYONE ELSE HAS!! But does that mean that our decency as human beings should be questioned? So, the next time you GENERALIZE the amount of success that another "bastard child" may or may not have, just remember that some of us DO grow up to be functional members of this so-called "society". Sincerely, Just Another Bastard Child

I was raised by a single mom. She had me at 21 and left my father when I was 6 months old. He was very abusive, but she thought she was in love. Then he became violent towards me and that changed everything for my mother. It was one thing when he was hurtful towards her, but she knew it would affect my whole existence to be raised in that kind of home. After that my mom did date and would stay with the same man for several years, but was very cautious about letting them into my life before she was confident about the influences they would have. My mom never settled down (for good reason) and chose to remain single, but in no means has given up on finding love. I on the other hand have grown to be a very strong, intelligent, and independent young woman. The men that I have chosen to date have been wonderful and I am still everyday friends with my ex's. The point I am getting to is that being raised in a single parent home is not better or worse than a 2 parent home. It depends on the environment and encouragement that is learned in the home. Of course under educated impoverished teen moms are going to raise children who learn this behavior from not only the parents, but the other people around them. Our society does not create support networks to help these unfortunate people to overcome their situations so that their children learn from a different environment. We hear stories every day about how teens are lied to or undereducated about sex and not just from the parents, but schools as well (especially in the south). These lies and misinformation do not stop the teens from having sex, but it does prevent them from doing it safely. Then they get knocked up and are shunned and unsupported and thus there children learn from that environment and believe it and don't amount to anything more then they are convinced to be capable of. On the other hand you can grow up in a 2 parent home in a nice neighborhood because your parents have good jobs, but your parents are abusive and fight and drink. You learn this behavior and grow up and are yourself successful, you get married, have kids, and a problem with alcohol. You get drunk and are mean to your family and don't remember the next day. Yet you are statistically considered a normal house hold. Our society is convinced that it is everyone for them selves, but let me remind you IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD.

I agree with tissababe

JB06

The point of the website, when you actually read into it...is saying the exact same thing you are. Frankly, yes, it does take a more negative view of the situation rather than a positive one, but the argument is essentially the same. The basic argument is that in todays American society, it is not in a man's best interest to get married to a modern American woman (IE feminist) exactly because of the reasons that you just stated, and really, it isn't.

cowdragon
You see when abraham was given the choice to sacrifice his son he knew that this life was only temporary. He realized that he would see his son soon. He realized that not obeying God would end in eternal torture. Even though you have sinned against him he is still waiting there to tell you that you have been forgiven. You just have to choose. And he is not a God of control. He does not want robots. He wants a relationahip and wants people to walk in holiness. Is that too much to ask of the God who has saved us from eternal torture?

cowdragon - I knew I would get ya with that! ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! See, you get all bent because your in the minority. Thats just too funny!

Ya, but even though I havent read the whole Bible, I seem to tell it like it is,all you do is distort the Bible to comfort your own desire to discredit it. Who the meglomaniac? And, it is the truth, wen judgement comes, there is no saving of a denier's soul. Plain simple fact. You don't exist anymore. Ther eis no hell, there is no pergatory, it's over. To deny is too be abolished. Deal with it.

to tissababe - you must not live in an expensive area, where you can afford to stay at home, do all those lovely things. Good for you. Don't judge those who require 2 incomes to pay the mortgage. Otherwise, everyone who lives in California, Massachusetts, Washington and every other expensive state's going to have to move to your neighborhood. We might even end up imposing our liberal values on you.

RiTZ

good, then can I have the keys to his car?

Why is it we, as a society, cannot allow our motives to be driven by accountability? Everything we do in this life is a choice- and naturally follows the consequence. The power of gravity cannot be harnessed without proper understanding of that law. Once all measurable consequences have been considered, certain risks are taken to propel an airplane through the sky. Normally, a pilot will not take a risk of flight if he doesn't know all the possible outcomes before his departure. The consequence of his choice will always manifest itself. There are children who will cope and adjust to life without daddy and go on to become wonderfully strong people. Then there are children, who despite having both parents in their lives, will end up in prison. Regardless of those exceptions, our juvenile prisons are not over-run with people who had two loving parents in the home. Women who are choosing to take this route to become ???mothers by choice??? have a HUGE responsibility to produce and raise children who go against the ???studies have shown?????? tests. Odds are stacked. On another note, children do not replace that deep and innate need for companionship. The psychological, emotional and physical stress exuded upon a child that has a needy parent is unhealthy and irresponsible, to say the least.

cowdragon
God loves you.

Dear LostChild;
Orchids to you for turning your circumstances around; and creating a loving environment for your family! Each kiss, each "I love you, mom!", each act of love and kindness apply more soothing balm to the scars and pain you carry from your childhood.
But, dear LostChild; I would like for you to consider something, if you will? There is an old Native American saying: "Great Spirit; let me not judge my neighbor until I have walked a mile in his mocassins."
In brief, I would like to share with you a situation which could very well be as bad, if not worse, than the one in which you grew up:
I grew up in a "blended" home. Although my mother re-married when I was two years old; my stepfather NEVER considered me "his child." That was made painfully clear to me throughout my childhood; verbally and physically. The neighbors half way down our street would hear me screaming in pain as this man reguarly beat me with a belt-and kicked me. The two children that my mother and this man shared never accepted me, either. They were taught that I was the "stepchild;" when, in fact, I was their "half-sister."
I left home when I was 17; immediately after graduation from high school. My only thought was to escape the beatings, hatred and daily rejection for being born the product of another man's union with my mother.
Consequently; I escaped two abusive marriages with my life-and nothing else.
I, too, am scarred inside, LostChild.
But I have learned in this life that there is One who can heal all of the pain, and replace it with new life. With the help of God, and His Beloved Son Jesus Christ; I have found healing, new purpose, and joy in my life.
And now, because of what I have lived through; I can help others who face the same thing.
My joy is in giving.
I know the lonliness you have felt. I know the pain. And I know that the only thing that will fill the emptiness it has created in your soul is the very thing that was meant to be there: a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
When God created us; He created a "space" in our soul; a space set aside especially for our personal realtionship with Jesus Christ. The world tries to fill that space with everything from drugs to alchohol to sex, gambling, pornography and almost everything else "new" that you can imagine.
The door to our soul has only one key: Jesus Christ.
And as this world grows worse each day; it becomes ever more important to hold fast to that which is ours; and to give our families hope: the hope that there is something worth living for........something better waiting for us when this life is over.
I will pray for you, LostChild; and I hope one day to see and entry signed "Foundand Healed."
God bless you and your beloved family.

Over 60% of American children are raised already by a single parent - usually mom. One of the reasons is that men do not honor their responsibilities. They end up raising the kids by themselves anyway. Why do not plan on that from the get go and perhaps put less emotional stress on the children?

tissababe
I couldn't agree more

if true of heart makes me want to kill my kids just because some megalomaniac tells me too... then call me whatever you want when I tell said megalomaniac to screw off. The fact that Abraham was willing to commit this vile act makes him a simple minded robot. The kind that we put in prison nowadays when they say "the voices told me to kill her."

Funny that I am called the hater though. I wouldn't kill my own kids. I wouldn't force women to grow old without ever experiencing childbirth. I wouldn't circumcise a baby. I wouldn't tell people they are going to hell simply because of their sexual orientation.... seems you need to look up the meaning of the word while you go back and ACTUALLY READ YOUR bible.