Knocking Yourself Up

Hmm...can someone here explain the reason why the US judiaciary branch tends to favor the mother in cases of divorce over the father? With this in mind, why not let women have babies through artificial insemination? Besides...no one said that these women won't find a loving man after they have the child. It's like if a woman is a single mom she's going to remain one forever and that the child will never have any male influences ever in their lives. Get real!

Comment: i am 18 years old and raised primarily by my mother. Though my financial stablity may have been somewhat lacking growing up, i have no complaints. It was through this struggle that my 3 siblings and i have grown to appriciate what we have, as opposed to those i witness that had more "advantages." my siblings and i feel lucky to have come from the single mother situation. While she may not have been educated, she knew the benefits of an education and always pushed us to do well in school, and i am currently enrolled in a state university. my mother was too busy providing for us to attend many school conferences, but we are not lacking because of it. i resent the teacher that mentioned how rough single parent children have it, for we have grown through our stuggles. i never had anything handed to me, i had to work for it. children with everything handed to them in childhood will not be able to function properly in the real world, without the advantages they had as a child. this is why we are the generation most likely to continue living at home until marriage. we are not to be pitied, and i am your typical, well-rounded college student, who can interact with my peers effectivley and have a normal romantic life, even without a father.

and why is it that the majority is trying to tell the minotiry how to live their lives? is it really the married couple bussiness to tell a woman she should not be allowed to reproduce? and for what reason? not everybody is a christian, so not everybody is going to abide by the ways of the bible. christians are picking passages from the bible that suit their lifestyle and ignoring the rest.

It is not that these women are man haters, it is just they they refuse to settle on a man. why reproduce with someone you dont love when this could end in divorce, anyway? and bring a child into a marriage without love? isnt it possible that this could also have some negative reprocutions?

cowdragon - see, there ya go again, distorting the Bible. Abraham took his son to sacrifice him, but never did. He wanted to make sure Abraham was true of heart. Something I see that has slipped past your hatred.

cowdragon
I feel sorry for you.

Dude, KJ has punishment by man. Your talking of God himself. I'm talking of mans responsibility on Earth, come back down to Earth please. You accuse easily I see, but can't take it. You read the Bible. Dueteronomy, Punishment by stoning to death, murder, rape, and child molestation. Your values have corrupted adequate punishment of these fools on Earth. So, take your apeasement religion and get a new one. Mine talks of responsibility and punishment for viloators, whats your talk about,? How to make sure you don't offend a persons feelings?

If your going to attack Christianity, then understand your in the minority. KJB talks of the consequences for not accepting Jesus as your savior, which you deny Jehove then. And that is not good, but children have a free pass into heaven, so thank goodness for that. God luck in your pursuit of non-judgemental religious values. There is no saving of a soul when judgement comes. I'll pray for you.

Instead of "Waiting for Mr. Right "and hoping to "live happily ever after" folks should try realistic expectation and look for a partner with flaws and a good heart. Raising children is one of the toughest things I've ever done (besides being married) and I could not imagine doing it alone. Props to all the single parents that are out there doing their best for their kids, by choice or not. I found an amazing woman to make a family with and it takes everything we have to keep it together. I know that there are some things my wife will not be able to teach my son and vice versa regarding me and our daughter. My weaknesses are her strengths, my strengths cover her weaknesses. The selfish people who have kids using Turkey basters because they don't want to be bothered with a relationship with a man are missing the point. Taking care of an infant is one thing, raising a child through to adulthood is another. The combined life experience of two parents gives a kid balance of perspective, problem solving, and making choices. When you have only one parent calling the shot, where's the balance? And if your interpersonal relationship skills are so lacking that you can keep a mate, what makes you think your gonna win at a 30-40 year relationship with a child????
It's ths children that pay the price for short sighted, self centered parents. wether thosse parents 15 year old bubble gummers or 41 year old attorneys. A team is ALWAYS stronger than an individual and that's what it takes to raise a kid...a team!

"To RAIVAN: Men should take notice of the trends and if they are feeling that they are being replaced, men should take a closer look at themselves to find out what is making them less attractive to women in our society, and more of a sperm donor instead. Men should probably be a little more responsive in a positive way by helping women raise better men so that successful women do not go to sperm banks to fulfill our natural right to breed."

And maybe women should be raised better to truly appreciate and look for good qualities in men, like being kind, gentile, and a good listener instead of just big muscles and a meathead tough-guy personality. And while you're at it, maybe instill some values in women like honesty, a willingness to compromise, and modesty. Maybe this fantasy, this myth, that men are abusive and oppressive will eventually dissapear and society will improve.

To Ritz,
Oh I'm completely aware marriage fails because it's the person walking in sin. Christ himself has nothing t do with it. What I find disturbing are people who preach but then we learn about living in the same sin. (I'd start to list politicians) but I don't want to take down the server with how many names I'd have to list.
The point I'm trying to make is that if a woman chooses to have AI, let her. Chances are 50% anyways that if she were married, she'd be getting divorced, and raising that baby alone anyways.

I believe that by nature the woman has much more the need to be a mom than actually to have a man. A man is much more the means to achieve the motherhood. The love, passion and whatever are the trick that the nature found to approximate woman and man to guarantee the procreation and the sustainability of the species. Nowadays the woman being financially independent and aware of that reality is looking for ways like a divorce after getting the babies or even being a single parent.

I believe that by nature the woman has much more the need to be a mom than actually to have a man. A man is much more the means to achieve the motherhood. The love, passion and whatever are the trick that the nature found to approximate woman and man to guarantee the procreation and the sustainability of the species. Nowadays the woman being financially independent and aware of that reality is looking for ways like a divorce after getting the babies or even being a single parent.

I don't know what is more sad.
The day the boy discovers he has no father,
or the fact that this article has NOTHING to do with reality, and everything to do with agenda.

Congratulations, spewsweek, on fueling the decline of everything that is good and decent.
You will be held accountable...some day.

Dear MaleReader;
Have you ever heard the proverb: "You can draw more bees with honey than with vinegar?"
The opening statement of your commentary was very bitter and offensive to the very gender in which you profess to be looking for "that perfect woman."
Obviously, someone has offended you and made you sarcastic and bitter toward women, in general. Not all women are like the one who has offended you.
None of us can judge an entire gender as a whole, though we are all entitiled to our opinion. Don't look now; but your hurt and anger are showing. You see, that's what sarcasm is: it is the product of hurt and anger.
Maybe if you tried a different approach sometime, you would find that each woman-like each man-is unique and a whole new world unto themselves.
Women and men NEED one another! That was God's plan from the beginning: and God doesn't make mistakes.
Your anger is not about women who choose to artificially inseminate themselves. When you lash out-are you not actually asking for understanding?
We all make mistakes; some of us more than others. And NONE of us are perfect. There is no "dominant" or "superior" sex. How long would our race survive if all the women suddenly died or disappeared? How long would our race survive if all of the men suddenly died or disappeared?
WE NEED ONE ANOTHER; AND NEITHER OF US IS SUPERIOR TO THE OTHER. When a man and a woman love and honor one another, treating one another as though they were the only person in the world that matters, there is peace, harmony, and joy in loving.
That was-and is-God's plan. If it just isn't working anymore; it's because of us-not a flaw in God's design. Happiness can still be found in a heterosexual relationship, but only if both are willing to give "100-100."
It seems that you are still young. It is good to know what you want, and what you are looking for in a woman. But keep in mind, that no matter which woman you ever choose; she will one day follow the inevitable course of nature, and age. If you have chosen a helpmate-a soulmate-will you tell her then that she has become "sour milk?"
Please keep in mind that in knowing what you want and are looking for in a woman: you must also know what you are and are willing to offer as a man.
I wish you the very best of luck in life. Oh, and before I forget! If you would, and you can spare the time-would you read Proverbs 30: 10-31? If you do not have a Holy Bible; I am sure that you must know someone who does. If not-they are not that expensive; and may quite possibly be the best investment you could ever make.
I will pray that God will replace your bitterness with happiness.

deuteronomy is the only place with punishment? LOL now I KNOW you didn't read the bible. Skip to the very last chapter... it's called Revelations and tell me there is no judgement in there. Cuz if there isn't in your copy, there is in mine. That means that there are many different messages in many different bibles and that's a whole other issue.

cowdragon
Dont you realize why he crucified his son? You missed the whole point of why he took all the first borns. Dont you realized he stopped abraham before he sacrificed his son-it was a test of faith.

Comment: Being a stay at home Mom is the most selfless and glorious act that a woman can do in this life. It is a gift for their children. And the only way to accomplish this is to have a wonderful husband who is willing to work for his family, andf to come home and offer to their kids only what a father can offer. Men and women are different, FOR A REASON!! It is a beautiful and glorious thing that God intended! We need to embrace the difference, not try to become asexual. I don't care what amazingly accomplished woman you are, no woman has all the attributes that equal to what a Dad and a Mom can offer tothe th

The women who "choose" to be single mothers in this manner are self -serving, and engaging in moral, ethical, and biological decimation. The mere fact that this option is available creates a sense in these women that they can subjagte the laws and sensibilities of nature, and "do it alone". To arrogantly and wantonly claim that they can raise a balanced, and socially apt person without a true father, is self graitification and self-aggrandizing on a scale that is nearly impossible for this writer to comprehend.

To further the demise of the family unit, puts the children of these women at huge risk. What will happen with these children when these mothers suddenly decide they are "bored" or "tired" of their bundles of joy, or when life throws them a curve, or they just simply decide that "hey, I don't think I really wanted to do this". With the manifestaion of this whimsical decision making being children that are outcast, or abused, or forgotten, or simple farmed out to grandma and grandpa (whoever they really are) , and society in general.

Moreover, it is disengenuous of these women, and any woman considering fatherless child-bearing, to think they are of such altruistic make-up that they know they "can do this", and ignore their own internal senses with the justification of "there's something wrong here - but since this is what I really, really want, it will be just fine"

Shame on these women, and shame on the woman who writes a "humorous" book on this subject - does she wish to make the incredibly profound act of creation appealling to the mental maturity of someone who finds moral and ethical guidance from comic books.

There is not a sentence or thought a woman could say to me to alter my views on this. There is no "need" or "right" or "privelege" embodied in the act and beauty of a man and a woman creating life, that somehow justifies that a woman, simply because she wants to, can abrogate the naturalness of bearing and raising children as a single mom, BY CHOICE.

In reply to - commentzilla

Again, I think the point is being missed here - the article is not just about single mothers but SINGLE MOTHERS who CHOOSE to be single mothers - it is very expensive to have a child through AI - most of the women that choose this route are successful, working women who have the means to support the children they bring into this world. When you talk of those on welfare and those from New Orleans you are talking about a whole different group of women whom I would guess did not choose to be single but started out in relationships and marriage. It is not the same thing.

To all of the people that are bashing women for doing things different:

You all need to stop judging and accept the things that make other people happy. If it were up to married couples to carry the human race beyond a few more thousand years we would be out of luck! FEMALES in nature be it human or otherwise, are capable of taking care of their own children whether there is a MALE present or not. You can see it clearly that in species that require two parents, when one leaves, the MOTHER is left with the choice and most choose to let their offspring die. Be grateful that humans do not take that approach and that WOMEN are CHOOSING to carry on the life of the species. Look around you. If women were not wanting to have a child we would all be extinct by WAY before our time.

Men should take notice of the trends and if they are feeling that they are being replaced, men should take a closer look at themselves to find out what is making them less attractive to women in our society, and more of a sperm donor instead. Men should probably be a little more responsive in a positive way by helping women raise better men so that successful women do not go to sperm banks to fulfill our natural right to breed.

I have talked to my parents, both happily married, about the possibility of having a child with or without a man present and they will be just as supportive as they are with both of my married sisters. If they think that I will be a good parent by myself, that is a good opportunity for me to ensure my genes are passed on to the next generation. ENSURING genes are passed on, belongs as a natural right for BOTH men and WOMEN!!

I believe that by nature the woman has much more the need to be a mom than actually to have a man. A man is much more the means to achieve the motherhood. The love, passion and whatever are the trick that the nature found to approximate woman and man to guarantee the procreation and the sustainability of the species. Nowadays the woman being financially independent and aware of that reality is looking for ways like a divorce after getting the babies or even being a single parent.