Always Home

Forging an identity becomes more complicated. "When you ask these kids where they are from, they always respond with a question," says counselor Randa, who grew up in America with a Sicilian father. "They ask: 'Do you mean where I was born or where I live now? Do you mean where my passport is from?' " She believes TCKs are among the most adaptable, empathetic group of people around, but that parents are critical to helping them feel grounded. "Family time is much more important to these kids than to those living in their own country," she says. "The physical home must often represent the entire home country and culture."

More and more employers are recognizing the importance of keeping their expats' children happy, too. Author van Swol-Ulbrich runs CONSULTus, a German firm specializing in expatriate integration. She says that if kids don't adapt to the host culture, it can make life miserable for the whole family--as well as the employer. In one case, she says, the son of a star overseas employee is having such a hard time with the local German culture that the mother wants to take him back home to the United States. But that is the exception rather than the rule. "I feel very lucky," says Nicole Portegies-Zwart. "Sure, it's a weird life sometimes, but that's just the way we are. I wouldn't trade it for the world." In today's global marketplace, growing up in a third culture means always feeling at home.

© 2003