American Beat: Moon Stalker

But I didn't bother to call a psychologist because the actual truth about the moon conspiracy theories is that it's built entirely of manure.

Of course, that didn't stop me from doing my journalistic duty. After softening up Aldrin's lawyer, O'Brien, by getting him to recount the punch incident, I suddenly asked him--point blank and out of the blue!-- "Has Buzz Aldrin ever been on the moon?" I figured maybe I'd catch him unprepared. But Aldrin's paid mouthpiece didn't flinch.

"Yes, Buzz Aldrin has been on the moon," O'Brien said. "He was there with Neil Armstrong." (He made it sound like a fraternity road trip.)

I reminded O'Brien that he is a sworn officer of the court and that if he was lying to me, I would make sure he was disbarred faster than Bill Clinton. "You can quote me as saying for the record and unequivocally: Buzz Aldrin has walked on the moon," he repeated.

Wow, that must have been cool. If it really happened, of course.

© 2002