American Beat: Bald-Faced Prejudice

Rudy's was a particularly bad combover. (I'm not talking George Pataki bad. I'm talking Sam Breakstone bad.) As bad as most combovers are, they're not the subject of such widespread ridicule as Rudy's. Rudy's hairstyle was so bad, it was not merely a part of the New York zeitgeist, but became a measuring stick against which men--not just bald men, but all New York men--could assess their own physical attractiveness.

You know, as in, "Well, at least I don't look as bad as Rudy!" Rudy's combover was such a frequent target of David Letterman Top-10 list that it almost became an issue in Giuliani's short-lived Senate race against Hillary Clinton. The man was relentless:

"Things Kenneth Starr has found out about Al Gore: Number 9: Stole valuable combover secrets from Rudy Giuliani," 1999; "Signs that Mayor Giuliani has gone nuts: Number 10: Appointed his hairpiece deputy mayor," 1995; "Signs that Mayor Giuliani is in love with you: Number 3: When he visits you, combover is in the shape of a heart," 2000; "Chapter Titles in Rudy Giuliani's Memoirs: Number 6: "Derek Jeter -- Great Player, but What About That Ridiculous Full Head of Non-Combed-Over Hair?" 2001; "Highlights of Clinton's Visit to New York: Number 10: "Declared Giuliani's combover a federal disaster area,"1997; "Ways to Beat the Heat in New York City: Number 7: "Change to your lighter, summer-only combover (Mayor Giuliani only),"1997; "Reasons New York's Population is Shrinking: Number 6: "Many citizens frightened by Mayor Giuliani's hair," 1994; "Signs of Spring in New York: Number 3: "Rudy Giuliani has a spring tune-up done to his combover,"1996; "Ways New York City is cutting back: Number 2: "Letterman and Giuliani must share same hairpiece," 1995; "Ways New Yorkers are celebrating the Yankees' World Series win: Number 4: "Mayor Giuliani shaving 'Yankees Rule!' into his combover," 1996.

So considering how the combover was nationally ridiculed, you can see why Rudy's decision to get rid of it was national news.

The Washington Post gushed that Rudy "simply but dramatically has shaken off the image of a door-to-door salesman" and now has "an enhanced, self-confident aura, a Robert Duvall-meets-Ed Harris elegance. Giuliani is knocking at the door of handsome."

Rudy may be knocking, but handsome ain't home. And Ed Harris? He's been dodging Rudy's calls ever since "Apollo 13." Still, according to Giuliani spokeswoman Sunny Mindel, Hizzoner is pleased with his new 'do. And, more important, his girlfriend Judi Nathan "liked the way it looked."