If Our Son Is Happy, What Else Matters?

When children aren't loved, they drift away. Sasha lived in his own world. He cared for no one. It didn't matter who held him--we were all the same. Toys slipped unnoticed from his hands. Even when no longer confined to a crib, he just lay on his back sucking his thumb. At the orphanage, they told me he had "normal curiosity," but I think they meant normal for a stone. When I brought Sasha to an expert in the psychological assessment of orphaned children, he diagnosed Sasha as having institutional autism.

Sasha's story would be unbearably sad if it weren't for how well he's done since coming home. By his 2d birthday, he was grinning and laughing all the time. He went from being severely underweight to downright chubby. He's engaged and affectionate, and every day he wakes up happy.

A speech therapist told us that, given Sasha's background, we shouldn't expect any words until 2. But when that birthday arrived, Sasha already had 60 words and phrases. He even says "please!"

Sadly, Sasha's walking is still impeded by a congenital condition. But he's tenacious in his attempts to toddle around, and we encourage his trying. This leads to lots of bumps and bruises.

Given his appearance, we weren't totally surprised that someone called the authorities. Done for the right reasons, that's the smart thing to do. But were the motivations here right?

State investigators concealed the complainant's identity, but friends who knew her filled us in on what had happened. They said that the complainant had told them how terrible she thought it was that Sasha had two daddies. They believed her bias was what motivated her to call the authorities. My partner and I hope that's not true, but we may never know.