If Our Son Is Happy, What Else Matters?

To close the investigation, we had to take Sasha to a hospital for an assessment. We were there for six hours. He was kept up past his bedtime and endlessly poked and prodded. Worse, even after the attending physician was convinced that there was no mistreatment, hospital rules required that Sasha undergo a full-body skeletal exam. So, our hysterical, tired child was held down for half an hour, twisted this way and that on a cold metal table for 15 X-rays he never needed. At 2, my son learned how prejudice can--literally--hurt.

But anti-gay prejudice hurts many children. Hundreds of thousands of them need homes. Yet some people would prefer that children be stuck in foster care or institutions rather than live with two loving parents of the same sex. I can't decide if that's more crazy or cruel.

My partner and I don't feel like heroes for adopting Sasha. We're the lucky ones to have this wonderful child. But had we not taken a risk on a kid who wasn't looking too good at the time, Sasha might still be in that orphanage. His beautiful, inspiring light would have been lost. For the person who reported us for abuse and for the lawyers for the state of Florida (who recently defended that state's ban on gay adoption by claiming "there is not a fundamental right to adopt or to be adopted"), that loss would have been acceptable. If they really cared about kids, just one of Sasha's smiles would change their minds.

SHERMAN LIVES IN WASHINGTON, D.C.

© 2002