Eat, Drink, Man, Woman (And Child)

In the day-to-day of our marriage, we often sit down together to eat different meals. We eat a lot of stir-fried vegetables and piles of beans--in soup, chili, burritos, enchiladas. I add fruits and nuts. Ken adds (white) rice and sometimes meat. We eagerly await the delivery of our weekly produce box. Our favorite Sunday outing is to purchase beautiful tomatoes, broccoli and peaches as we stroll through the booths of our neighborhood farmers market with our baby daughter, Kiela.

Though our shared meals satisfy us both, the situation confounds our friends--they drop off gifts of ribs or chicken skewers with the apparent belief that my husband is wasting away in vegan servitude. And there is still the matter of the Hawaiian luau for Kiela. It is tradition to celebrate a child's first birthday with a luau--including a whole roasted pig. A friend of the couple dutifully raises the pig from the time of the child's birth and slaughters it for the party. After being initially appalled, I came to appreciate the care taken in this tradition. The symbolic little piglet is better off than a factory-farmed animal. Still, I had to put out the word that any Babe-butchering in our honor would offend my vegan sensibilities. We have five more months to figure out what to serve instead. Soy in a pit? Tofurkey?

Despite these occasional challenges, food is a source of pleasure for us, not conflict. I wouldn't ask Ken to change his eating habits any more than he would seek to alter mine, and we plan to let Kiela sample my vegan fare and Ken's meat-inclusive menus so she can decide what to eat for herself. With the shared goal of nourishing ourselves while respecting our food sources, we learn constantly from our differences.

Photo: Tofurkey, anyone? Despite occasional challenges, food is a source of pleasure for my husband and me, not conflict. We learn from our differences.

Andrews lives in Oakland, Calif.

© 2007