A Surprising Grief

I remember having the same feelings when I had to have my hysterectomy about 4 years ago. I have two daughters- 21 & 18, and also a 14 year old son. Both of my daughters are married and I have a 1 year old granddaughter. I knew that I didn't want anymore children, but the idea that I couldn't have anymore children left me feeling so "unwomanly" for so long. I ended up having to talk to a counselor, too, because of the sudden grief you feel.

I have a 4 year old and an almost 3 year old. Sometimes they are so taxing on me that I just have to take a "mommy timeout". Living in San Diego with 2 kids that I want to give the world to is financially straining. However, when my husband talks about getting a vasectomy I want to curl up and cry. I think I am ok with not having anymore children, but I like that the option is there. I have a lump in my throat from this article, the thought that the option to have more children is taken from you would be terrible. Fortunately, the author had a strong daughter to help get her through it.

As a counselor, I can understand what happened. What people don't realize is that every year of your life, you lose something. It can be your hair, your eyesight, your strength, whatever. Loss is a universal theme in human society. You lost the ability to become pregnant, and that is something precious that most women don't want to lose, ever, even though you already bore one child. Unfortunately, we women lose that ability to reproduce if we live long enough, and this is something every woman has to deal with.
long enough.

I have a 16 year old son and a 21 year old daughter, and ... I cried while reading your article. We cry over moving from our childhood homes, or worse our homeland, and the loss of our parents. So, leaving behind such a significant part of your life- the ability to bring a life into this world, IS very significant . Take your calcium!