Why Women Lose Weight—or Don’t

I'm sorry... I'm feeling left out because no one is yelling at me so I'm going to repost my original comment.

Comment: Okay, let's get this out of the way first. I'm a 30 year old man, 5 foot 11 inches tall and I weigh 330 pounds. So I'm a fat man. I hate my body and I can't imagine anyone else finding it attractive either. That being said, I think we need to re-evaluate this notion of "overweight".

The BMI was developed in 1830. It was developed to study the farmers in Belgium. It really doesn't apply anymore. Most americans are not farmers. We work crappy jobs in offices and get very little excercise, while dealing with stresses we were not meant to deal with.

Also, I have a problem with calling obesity an "epidemic". This isn't a disease, it is a socio-economic shift. We don't get enough excercise, and a lot of us don't have time to excercise anyway.

I, like many other people, hate my body because I have been brainwashed, since birth, to find a certain body type appealing. This is stupid, and unhealthy. All bodies are attractive.

And lastly, on a personal rant of my own... Who cares about health? We have a problem with overpopulation already. Stop trying to keep people alive longer. People are meant to die, it is the natural order of things. I may hate my body, but I thoroughly intend to enjoy my fast food and candy, because I hold no illusions about death. We are all going to die, so stop worrying.

re anorexia.....As someone who has an ongoing battle with anorexia, I find it difficult to recover from. I'm currently 20 lb underweight and an athlete, a long distance runner. No one makes fun of skinny people. Instead, I get compliments. This makes it really hard to want to do anything about it because you get a feeling of power and control by accomplishing something everyone else wants.

I have read several of these comments, some worth my time, others not. Anyone can criticize me for being "off topic" or whatever other criticism they choose, but I would like to make one point and then rip me apart if so desired.
Addiction: (definition) the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.
Cigarettes, alcohol, gambling spending money excessively, and FOOD are all addictions and I am sure there are others.
The point I must make---of all of those, the required need of our bodies to live, the only one is food. We HAVE to eat. We have to face food and make the choice of which one everday of our lives. We have to have it in our house---esp. if we are mothers and wives and have others to feed. We know which are healthy and which are not, we are not stupid people. As those mothers and wives, we have to face the grocery store aisles every week, sometimes every day. We have to fight our addiction with every push of that cart through every single aisle we need to walk down. Do alcoholics have to go to the bar or liquor store every day---I don't think so. Hopefully you all can see my point. Alcolics drink to deal, food addicts need emotional healing too, they just became addicted to food, not alcohol, for whatever reason. I know alcolism on many levels is dealt with every day, but you do not need it to sustain life, you do not need to drink a certain amount a day to be healthy and stay alive. We need food and water to live. We face it every day all day long in our homes and outside. Find it in your hearts to be a LITTLE understaning here for those who struggle with this issue because of addiction.

I'm overweight and I blame no one but myself. I was thin once and could get any man I wanted because I was thin. But they didn't want me for my heart or my mind they wanted me for my body. Now that I am overweight If a man likes me its because he truly sees what i have to offer on the inside. I have a great guy in my life who accepts me for me and my weight doesn't matter to him. I have tried numerous times to lose weight with little success. I walk a lot and I really don't eat a lot. Yes I know some of u are saying yeah right lady but its true. my highest weight was 278 and now I weight 224. I won't allow myself to gain more weight as I don't want to be that big again. I am fairly healthy except for high blood pressure but i have no other health problems and its no big deal for me to walk 2 or 3 miles a day, my friends who are thin say there is no way they could do the amount of walking that I do. I am not lazy I work every day and part of my job is stocking beer and putting beer kegs in the cooler. Those of u who feel it neccesary to make fun of people who are overweight or not so attractive or even maybe to thin need to stop and think you could be one of us and the tables could be turned and u would be on the receiving end of all the ridicule. we are human and we do have feelings and deserve respect just as much as a person who is beautiful or of normal weight.

The incident w/ the size 2 pants is a really bad example for this story. There's a thing called vanity sizing which many designers and clothing companies use to make their patrons feel better by putting a size 2 tag on what's really a standard size 8. It keeps them coming back to shop. Additionally, what irritates me is that a lot of thicker women like to use the "average dress size of women now is a 14 and Marilyn Monroe was a 14" like that's an excuse for being overweight. A size 14 in the 50s is nowhere near the same size as a 14 now, it's probably more like our current 8 or 10. There is no real standard sizing system in the garment industry but sizing protocol changes as the population's pshysiology changes. The bigger people get, the more room they'll need on the sliding scale to determine sizing.

Don't think I hate on fat people, because I don't, but I disapprove of a lifestyle conducive that kind of bodily abuse. There is no reason anyone should be overweight unless of course you have a medical predisposition for it, like a thryoid problem. People keep talking about a pandemic that's going to wipe out large populations, well, I think obesity is it.

Why is that these few ignorant people keep saying stop eating twinkies,hohos,cheetos and a few other types of prepared dessert snacks? I am overweight and am currently attempting to change my lifestyle to improve my health. For your information, I don't like hohos or twinkies or even cheetos! I have a job I work long hours and the only time I sit on my couch is to doze off at 2 am waiting for my husbands also overweight body to go sleep! Not EVERYONE eats fast food or dessert cakes. I like to cook my own meals with my family, personally. But if you can eat some pasta or some mashed potatoes who says some one else's body treats the food the same way? Like it or not for me I can not eat starches or eat fruit or anything else that turns into carbs. Why cause I am not you and you are not me. So maybe I don't run a mile a day but my daughter and I watch fit tv in hopes she doesn't have my problems when she is my age. I have read comments from some very rude and nasty people today and it isn't called for. I hope you are teaching your children to talk to other people that way. This is where we get school yard bullies that tease children into suicide at such a young age. Open your mind to the possibilty that we all aren't built alike. And some might be couch potatoes or stuff there face with twinkies but don't stereotype the rest of the population for someone else'e binge habits.

boy are you ever so wrong I agree with nurse1, you (melodyknows) don't know nothing. Many of my friends who died, were way thinner than I. One even died of a massive heart attack and was only 20 and he was as you say "normal weight." We live as long as god wants us to. Whether we are Thin, or Obese. Besides you need to grow up and realize that one day.

it's sad that being an alcoholic, a drug addict, or an abuser is more acceptable in today's society than being fat. we're all addicts, but it just shows up differently. but regardless of this, if "fat" is the best insult you've got for me, then i'm doing okay. at least i'm not shallow, and at least i'm not hungry. it's like my mother once told me, "skinny people are always bitchy because they're hungry and counting calories...at least we're fat and happy!" amen.

We as Americans focus on image too much. But on the other hand indulge in countless fast food and restaurant meals. Not only overweight people are dying of heart attacks. We need to slow down and eat more fresh fruit and vegetables. Can vegetables are just as good as those that come straight from the garden. You can be overweight and be healthy just exercise and eat right. Don't worry about what Brittney, Jessica, Monique or Halle Berry look like focus on you and what you want to have out of your life. This goes for men and women. Watch the Biggest Loser those people dramatically changed their lives no surgery what so ever just dedication. You have to realize you have a problem before you can solve your weight problem. You don't have to look emaciated to be sexy and you don't have look 300 plus lbs. to look sexy. It's what you make it, find a medium. It takes time to lose wait so be patient, the best things come to those who wait. My heaviest wait was 256 in July, 2007, through exercise and eating normal portions I now weight 219 lbs. I am continuing to lose weight because I feel so great to have shed those lbs. I realized I needed help and for those who need to eat or are under weight it takes as much dedication to find yourself worthy just focus on the future, because if you don't eat you will be cutting it short.

Lets debunk some of the lame excuses that lardasses use to get off the hook.

Genes: what is all this bla bla bla bla about genes. Of course genes will determine if you are bigger or smaller but, obese? Com'on. Why is it then that only in America this gene that makes people fat is so widespread? The majority of Americans are of European descent, with minorities from Asia, Africa, and Latin America. Now, Asia has among the lowest incidence of obesity in the developed world; Europeans are nowhere near as fat as Americans. And Africans? Who's going to argue that Africa has obesity issues. All these ethnicities populate the US, nevertheless suddently we all have these genes that are making us fat. It must be that European colonists were infected with this obesity virus while exploring the woods of North America and then passed it along to all new comers creating this 'epidemic'. Or, it could be that people are just eating too much of crap.

Beauty standards: excessive fat was never considered beautiful. The usual excuse is that sometime in ancient history lardass women were attractive. Well, first of all those standards don't apply now. Now is the modern age and fat is not pretty. If fat was considered remotely pretty, there would be fat people on beauty magazine covers and actors and actresses would be fat. Also, history is not an excuse. In the ancient world larger women were indeed attractive, but they still waren' as large. Just take a look at some Greek or Roman statues representing princesses and goddesses. Yes, they were thicker and bulkier but still feature very sensual curves and are not excessively fat, and they are actually attractive. The guys have even less of a case to make. The standard of beauty for men has always been a strong and muscular body. Just look at representations of Greek gods, athletes, and war heroes. Look at the tough training and discipline the Spartans had to endure, and how the Olympics were a display of male perfection. It's true that at some point in time fat people were considered of higher social status, and the nobility was usually overweight. Nevertheless, does that make it a good example to follow? If some French Aristocrats, or some Roman consuls were stupid enough to be fat and lazy, it still not a valid argument to make today. The mortality rate and life expectancy of that aristocracy wasn't so favorable as compared with today's. The life style of these noble people was indeed wrong and misguided.

I think the real message here is compassion and love, both for yourself and others. You may disagree with the way a person leads their life, but it is not acceptable to dicatate that they change. We are all human, with our own unique flaws. The problem with this country, where it is irrefutable that these problems are the worst, is that we are intolerant and critical. Let others be, and help them when they want it. Remember not any one of us is perfect. The more positive support we can offer one and other, the better people we become. When judgment is passed, or you attempt to solve a problem with negativity, you will acheive the opposite result of that which you were looking for.

Just a couple of observations from reading here on the board:

1.) There is a difference between "being real" and "making no excuses" and being outright cruel. I've read many comments here that do know the difference and are just giving some "tough love" advice, and there are others here who their comments amount to little more than, "hey, fatty fat fat." Sorry, but no matter how many times you say it, it's pretty obvious that shaming does not work and in fact may even be making the problem a bit worse--I find it interesting that the more focus we as a society put on reaching an "ideal" shape, the fatter people get as a whole. Just something to think about.

2.) I haven't seen anyone mention this yet: sorry if it's already been mentioned. One reason I think people are giving up on weight loss so fast these days (or stopping after x amount of pounds) is because many of us are constantly being "told" that we not only need to lose weight, but that we need to lose it RIGHT FREAKING NOW, INSTANTLY, or else we're worthless pieces of crap until we do. That's a big difference from the much healthier "eat well and exercise, but don't try to lose more than 1-2 pounds a week, " advice what most Dr's, nurtritionists, fitness professionals, etc. will tell you. There's so many conflicting messages out there, no wonder people are confused and why so many give up. If we really want weight loss to be about health, then we need to drive home that any loss, no matter how small, is a step in the right direction--and not that we're worthless until we lose x number of pounds.