Why Women Lose Weight—or Don’t

part 8: I have seen and experienced all areas. As a yogini, I believe in that Americans really need focus on quality not quantity in all areas including food. Food is made to nourish the body, that is it. It is made to be fuel for the body. Of course, science and chefs have concocked every way to make things more pleasing and addictive to our senses. Speaking from knowledge, the more one is able to get back to pure foods without additives, the more refined and sensitive the tastebuds become. It is the difference of living on a farm, or in the middle of vegas. Lol. When our senses are overstimulated with lights, media, information to process, advertisments to pull our vices of pleasure, it seems more and more is needed to feel satisfied. My yoga teacher always told me "work from the inside out". And really, I guess that is the bottom line. When I dealt with all my real hungers, an unhealed relationship with a parent actively abusing alcohol, being raped and attached growing up in the inner city of michigan, developing an outter ego through modeling, friends, personal acceptance, but never really developing self worth or inner confidence...I was never able to accept the good things that came into my life. When I achieved the goal weight, I would relapse a bit and destroy my modeling job op for i felt i was not worthy. So it takes knowing one is worthy. And I would advise working with a counselor because like it or not, weight change does actively create a difference as to how we are treated and looked at, judged superficially in this world. If one loses weight and is not ready to handle the attractive date offers, and all else that potentially may come with that. Or perhaps one is married and loses the weight, a partner may actually begin to feel fear that this partner now will get more "attractive people", or they may experience a promotion,...i remember my whole life changing and my best friend not knowing how to cope while I became head of the dance team and popular, and she had stuck by me throughout my childhood obesity. And I remember the pressure from the popular crowd to not "hang" with her, though I did. And am grateful, I was able to experience both sides of extremes for I no longer look at people by the shell. For many years I haven't.

cant end on 6: But we as people have "evolved". I seem to think it is all the growth hormones in meat and dairy, but that is my opinion. I can say that my grandmothers size 6 is my size 0. My mothers fine european size 4's are just about my size 0. Europeans in general do not have the overcompulsive, commercial, disposable, bigger is better attitude that we as comfortable americans have adapted to such abundance as the norm.

I find Italian and more precisely French designers to be much more accurate in sizing. Most "mall" chain stores that we know the names all very well, have changed the tags. In a well known three letter named store starting with "G", I swim in a size 0. There are no clothes that fit me. I am not proud, nor do I celebrate that fact. I no longer have the sick "ego" of the anorexic unhealthy mind that feels (oddly) superior as I would have in my illness. I realize that I am an adult woman, that does not fit american standard sizes, and quite often I ponder that.

Getting back to models, runway models, as a designer, are referred to in the industry as "walking coathangers". (of course, this is a demeaning term) It also has truth to it. For runway, the models are much taller and and supposed to not be too curvaceous for that would interfere with the design of the gown. It is seen more as performance art, and I have seen certain desginers that are more avant garde actually use adrogenous looking men with wigs to have that tall, slim formless strut down the catwalk. It was reported, in many various memories of Marilyn Monroe that she was about 5 1/2 tall. She would be great for print, and classic glamour/pin up. (Playboy signature style). They say during a pregnancy and fluctuation of her weight due to alcohol and drugs, she would weigh between 118 and 140. Her hourglass figure was stated as 35-37 bust, 22-23 waist, 33-36 hips. Now, as a glamour model, and at the weight of 107, I am 33-23-33. She was half an inch shorter than me. Most models are not size 0's on the catwalk. What they call "sample size" usually runs either a 6 or an 8 for the models are much taller. Many of them still have similar stats though longer legs. So by no means was Marilyn Monroe fat. Voluptuous yes, and before the time of J LO...lol, "yes". I think all gals such as myself that used to work out trying to get that "flat white butt" would use the stair master and work the glutes and the funny thing is the butt is, well, supposed to be three major muscles. So the more one works it out, the larger, rounder and firmer it gets. So until J Lo, many of us were either cinching the waists of our jeans, finding jeans that fit our waists but not over our hips! Again, we must take that into consideration when comparing marilyn monroe to runway models with no curves.

six and still sharin' : The bottom line is to be at ones best, it takes work. Watching what we eat, educating ourselves on what are in products, knowing the "numbers", maybe working with a dietician until we have a program down that works for us. Like each fingerprint, every person has something that would work for them. My heriditary and family is diabetic and all obese. Even my siblings that are younger. I dont know if somehow I had complete different genics, but as of yet, I have perfect cholesterol, blood pressure, and energy levels. When I get too thin, I find my immune system weakens. And I get the flu. But I have a few pairs of jeans with no lycra, and they are my gage, not the scale. I work with my weight simply, if the jeans get larger, I need to up the calories for a while daily until they fit again. If they get tighter, I need to be a bit more attentive and not as lazy, get out there and walk, do yoga, play with children, walk my pup, whatever makes me happy and makes me move!
Also, fat and muscle. Stop looking at the scales! Muscle is condensed. Fat is...well not firm. Muscle weighs more than fat. I could weigh 15 pounds more than a girl my height and be a dress size smaller for i have more muscle mass than her! So if you notice that you are gaining wieght when you were on such a good losing streak..go by the size of a good sturdy pair of jeans. And remember during that time of the month...what I mean, dont go by one week and think that you have sabotaged and mysteriously gained weight being on program. I have a saying, "the body is amazingly supportive to weightloss and health, you just have to be on it's team". For years, i worked against the natural rhythms of my body, against nature, and looked for the miracle pills, and cabbage diet my aunt was on...i did not realize i had to eat fat, for my body not to 'HANG ONTO IT WITH ALL FORCE SCARED IT WILL NOT GET ANYMORE". Once the body knows it is regularly getting fed, it will release and spead up the metabolic rate to "let go" and not store food if eating is irradic and not routine. Work with your body, your body will work with you!
The comment below of marilyn monroe being fat! Lol. Yes, it is said that only her dress makers knew her size. I laughed as one of my professors at design school was making a jacket for a very famous soap star. I told him I knew her...and that he should probably just say that he always does measurements, for he is a perfectionist. I do not know one woman that has not seen a good deal, or a size smaller, and tried to smush themselves in the garment just to know they were still that size. So yes, my teacher said he had been given the measurements...and the day they shot on set, he arrived punctually in his diva like attitude full of ego and arrogance,....and the jacket was about two sizes too small. Lol. So yes, they say marilyn Monroe's seamstresses were the only ones that knew her size.

part five: On the woman, "ivory" whomever...it is sad that when I get "sickly thin" that people right away ask "are you a model"??? Yes, there is a movement called "thinspiration" that is very competitve on weight loss. I would like to say now, that playing with weight is playing with fire. The "game you play, will one day play you". I remember a girl that I admired. I was jealous that she could eat everything and then quickly vomit it up. i never could get myself to vomit no matter how hard I tried. I learned she had to tie a string to a life saver, swallow it, and yank up the candy to active the gag reflex. Her knuckles were scarred from shoving them down her throat so long, and later I heard she died when her esophagus ruptured...her head over the toilet. ;( Like losing the parastalsis of my colon, where I may one day be a young woman, with my colon removed and a plastic sac attached to my waist that my *** dumps into. Is that attractive? Am I saving health costs? Of course obesity contributes to high blood pressure, cholesterol (if one eats meat, animal products, vegetable products have NO CHOLESTEROL, each species creates their own, so one takes in that animals, when they take in their flesh, milk or eggs). Anyway, yes, both my grandparents had tripple bipass surgery. They suffered high blood pressure and hardening of the arteries. Toward the end of my granfathers life he told me something I never realized...and that was that he admired my descipline and ethics of not eating meat, and perhaps if he had another way, or another job....I did not let him go on. I told him I always thought he had hated me, for disgracing the money he brought home to help our family survive. The point is, that today most of us have more options, and the only thing from attaining health, is our inner lack of self worth, esteem, and self love. Also, education. Of corse the meat and dairy industries will say drinking milk is the best way to stay in shape, we went through the all carb low fat craze in the 90's and the meat and dairy industries freaked out. Magically a diet that was known in humor as the "halitosis diet" or "ketosis" diet of the 70's where eating fats and protein sent the body into burning fat in a very toxic way being hard on the liver and causing very bad breath! lol. So thirty year's later, it is repacked with little difference by Atkins, the "new celebrity diet". What people do not realize, is that all these fad diets cause damage to health.

I thank you for your article. It made me stop and reflect about those around me and the impact as "an obese woman" that I make on their lives. I am proud to admit that the impact that I make is a positive one.
While I always admit that I have a problem with weight management, I have much more to give to others than an "obese model" figure. I inspire others and teach them to take care of themselves as they live their lives. I have a beautiful face and am so tired of the comment "you have a beautiful face and all you have to do is loose weight", but each time I hear that, I work at it even more to educate others of the downfalls of being obese and explain the process of getting to a healthy weight. Perhaps we as a society ALL need to get on the same page and not some on the "anorexic model looking women", others a "normal" weight, and the rest of us as "obese". We are affecting our future generation of adults...what message SHOULD WE SEND?
- confused, chicago

part four?:On a personal level, I had to find my inner self worth and beauty, and have that not relate to my weight. I had to learn the differnce between "fat feelings" and actually being overweight. I am speaking as an anorexic, but many overeaters can relate. "fat feelings" usually come with those feelings of sadness, abandonment, lack of achievement, social denial or judgement. When I look in the mirror, since the recovery, I grew two inches. I am currently a size 0, 5'6 and 108 pounds. I know that I am underweight. I was told in the hospital that for every inch over 100, a healthy woman should add 5 pounds. Therefore at 5'6, a healthy weight would be more around 130 pounds. They told me 10% less, is a healthy low weight, meaning I can hover around 117.

But in the industry, I usually stay around 20% my ideal, which is usually around 105. I notice that other print modes do the same, and when I took the information that implants "give a sense of health" just like "tanning" which is probably just as "healthy". I got implants, and have noticed that I can be ten pounds lighter even in the 90's and people still say, but you look full and healthy! My own parents, who are pretty accurate of Midwestern figures...a little extra from the cold winters. They even think I look "so much better" because of the implants. So, what I am hoping here, is to show how sick the media, society and the pressure on women is these days.

In the mirror, I still have the old memories in my head that filter me to see "fat". Fortunately modeling, especially with digital..I can see a object apart from me, and separate my feelings from the image, and see a young, very thin woman, that deserves nurture, care, to be feed, and self esteem and worth as all others. And whether one is overweight or under, I think this is the most important thing to establish. For the more I love and "forgive" and heal that little girl that was mocked and hurt, the more I am able to nurture, and care for, and maintain naturally a sense of health, and enjoyment in exercising. Also, I think it is essential to find some sort of exercise that one enjoys. if one likes the ocean, or flowers, find water, a lake, the ocean, go to a planatarium. I love shopping, so my nightly walks were up and down the rodeo, ca area to see the window displays and get creative inspiration. Before one knows it, they are not 'working out" but enjoying and adding to thier life.

part three: I was fed liquid foods for my colon had not moved in years...barely. Like any muscle it needed stimulant laxitives, and quite many to get it to even move. It was as if one did not use their legs for 13 years and then was told to hike a hill. There was no parastalsis, and these are the ugly aspects of anorexia. To this day I am still building my colon strength up little by little that it can accept "real foods". I eat well, I eat a certain amount of calories, fat grams, and fiber a day and I cannot play around with those "numbers". I see food as numbers and my daily allotment as a bank account that each food deducts from it that day. When I start "relapsing" since anorexia IS A DISEASE and ADDICTION both physical and psychological, it is when I will eat over at a party, and not go back to "my program" but "deduct those calories" from the next day, or next two days to make up, and equate the "balance" of my food "bank".
But fortunately, I recognize that, and am able to get back to the numbers, to the "plan of recovery". Unlike drugs or alcohol, one cannot give up food! I think we all have "comfort foods" and trigger foods we turn to. I have found keeping those out of the house is best for me. Bagels are a trigger to me. I could eat a six pack and if there were more, those as well. So when I feel like a bagel, it may cost a bit more but I go to a shop, order one or two, with whatever vegetable toppings and I now eat organic cream cheese. But I do not set myself up to "self sabotage" what I know I cannot control. I am currently single, and it has been very difficult to find men, friends, especially roomates or family that understand. But I tell them that it is like having alcohol sitting around the house, even hidden somewhere, to someone sober for years. If I know it is accessable, I will find it. I don't know why, I have learned, that I am "powerless" to some foods.

So, in the modeling industry. I hate giving my "stats" because others think they must shrink to this level to be thin. So know I am still dealing everyday with recovery. Thank God, Modeling has given me a place to express my sexuality as "my own", not directed to anyone but the camera lens. We as women own our sexuality, and if we see it as a healthy form of intimate communication, a physical connection, and an endless blessed power, there is nothing dirty about having curves and being a sexual human being. I think women have been plagued by two images, and it has gotten worse. We are to be "hot and sexy" as women in ads, but at the same time be chaste and innocent. And honesty, after a certain age and years, one does acquire some experience, be it one partner, or seeking others for whom they can feel close to.

LMAO! Nobody was slobbering over Anna Nicole Smith. Very few people liked her, no different than very few people now miss her. She was garbage and sluttish. She was the worst type of role model for young girls. Unfortunetly, some of her behavior probably did rub off onto many young girls over the last 10 to 15 years. sadly.

This comment goes to fist..........your are a very rude person and mustn' have an idea of what it is like to be over weight. I was over weight as a child not because I didn't do any thing. I worked on the farm like my sibblings and that was a long time ago. So, fist don't make a comment until you know every thing about it first.

Hi work out vigorously, a couple years ago, I under went a huge weight loss, I went from a size 20 down to a 12, it took about 6 mos or so, but with the right diet and excersize anything is possible. But I got really sick and put the weight back on but ever since, I've been trying to lose weight, but I have a loving husband who supports with anything. In my profession I have to be in shape. So you can do anything you want to if you put your mind to it.

part three:
In the years between 13 and 18, I had been raped. I remained a "virgin" by yogic principles, no sex, no drugs or intoxication far after design college and training in Iyengar yoga. Though I was taught in yoga to feel peace and love my inner self, I did not realize I was using it to hide from the fear of addapting my family history of violent alcoholism. I was hiding from the old "fat little girl that was daily told she was a waste and ugly to look at". I was manipulating teachings of fasting to purify "the flesh", and cleanses, because I never dealt with the rape, and removing my curves, made me feel "safe" as though I got rid of my sexual attration that led men to stray to violent acts against women and away from God. I had internalized the guilt many rape victims do as my fault for I had started developing despite my diet becomming more and more rigid and strict as the years continued. It was also a way to silently crave love from my mother and grandmother, not food as love. And our family did not openly express emotions. There were painful nights of drinking, followed by my favorite sweets for breakfast "made with love". And as a young child, I had gorged on these food trying to fill my heart, until I rebelled, knowing it was only hurting me, and giving me depression, guilt and no real sharing of communication or love.
Flash forward to the year 1998. I had just run the San Francisco marathon at 72 pounds and 5'4. I felt great. My food groups consisted of raw fruits and vegetables, sprouted grains, I would chew threw a pack of sugerlass gum peice after peice filling my mouth full so that "i felt like I had eaten". I snuck coffee against the yoga center considering it a "drug/caffiene" to keep my energy going. And the next day, after the race, which i finished...my body could not move. My roomate, knowing I had a list of things that had to be done, my chore in the yoga center was to do all the laundry convinced me to bring all the laundry from the center to her college campus. I gathered all, and we drove in a strange direction. She hospitalized me against my will for depression and anorexia. At that time I was furious. I had dropped to 67 pounds after the run and felt "cleaner" inside. But I had never worked out the issues that made me feel dirty or not worthy in the first place. I would never be too light, or take too little.

A lifetime of balance and moderation has kept me fit and healthy???Likewise for my family.

It???s interesting how things change (geeze, I sound like my dad). When I was in school, there were just a handful of overweight and obese children and teens; btw, I graduated in the 80???s. These overweight kids stood out.

Now my child stands out. The difference lies in that he???s fit and maintains a healthy weight. He lives the life because his parents do, like was taught to me, and like was taught to my wife. Home is where it starts (what a clich??), both good and bad habits.

It would be nice if children were taught health and nutrition on a regular basis in school. It would also be nice if parents, studied with them, and practiced these habits daily.

It???s amazing how simple it really all is. Eating a balance of healthy foods in small controlled portions every meal, multiple times a day is all it takes to stay healthy. Add in some light exercise (which could be about anything) and you are there. There is always room for some of the bad stuff. There are rules for these too???small portions and limit them (just a couple times a week).

The major motivating factor that helps people loose weight, is themselves. Promoting all of the negatives that come along with weight problems, does not help. It???s like telling a smoker today that it's unhealthy???they already know.

People can achieve what they want (weight loss etc.), but it involves change and a winners mentality. Without these, failure is eminent.

part two: (continued) I am still going throught "the phase" and educated myself to the point where I was able to be the sole manager of a large scale (think Whole Foods) health foods store. Yoga replaced gymnastics and I enjoyed east indian and modern dance. My longing had alwasy been to be an artist in the fashion industry, and I was always very conscious of the models. Also models used to grace the pages of fashion mags, not hollywood celebs. So these days there is become a fine line between the twiggy waif like appearance of models, and actresses. I heard Colista Flockheart once mention in an article, that as "Alley Mcbeal" she had been critisized a lot for her low weight. I cannot give an exact qoute, but she did say that most other models/actresses get below healthy weights, and get breast implants that give the impression of "health". I kept those words in my head not knowing that I was slowly "fasting", "refining and purifying my diet" to only organic raw foods, and in the yoga community this was seen as great restraint of the senses. I would say food was meant to nourish the body, and we could take the least amount from the earth by eating raw vegetables and fruits, sprouted grains, for the enzymes and nutrients were not "destroyed" in cooking.

I really do not know where to begin! I am have been a glamour/fashion print model for the past 7 years. I come from the Midwest, where my mother and grandmother were both professional chefs. Our house was always filled with pasties and desserts. At the age of 11, I remember being teased in gym and holding my shirt outward as I ran so the other students could not see my "fat jiggle". I needed large size gym sweats and had to roll them at the bottom. When I tured 12-13 I decided I could not take this discouragement daily. I developed depression, and I was kicked off the gynastics squad and ballet, told to perhaps try "modern dance". It was then that I realized weight would impact my goals and life and dreams if I did not make a change.

I had become stopped eating meat at the age of seven since my grandfather worked at a slaughterhouse in downtown detroit. Detroit downtown, and a slaughter house, maybe one of the worst combos for a young girl to have to run through to find her granpa after work. There was no "mental disconnection" between meat as a product, "a leg of lamb" and a "lamb's leg", between eating chicken, or eating "a chicken". So ugainst my parents will, and as offense to my grandfather, I was stubborn and would sit at the table some nights until 2am refusing to eat meat. Up until the age of 13, I had not known of vegetarians, and came across a hindu temple that taught yoga! I was so enchanted and curious. I was used to living off peanut butter (for my source of protien, but did not realize the calories and fat). When I told my parents of my finding, that there were others that believed in non harming to animals, and they cooked many tasty foods, my parents told me to 1. educate myself on nutrition. 2. start buying my own food and learning how to prepare it. 3. start babysitting to pay for this "phase".

I think that we have to accept our weight as a stark reality as to our overall health. Maybe you don't find it as gross and unacceptable to be overweight as previously thought but that doesn't deminish the health aspects. As women age we do gain weight but we have to recognize what is acceptable. When I was younger (up until my mid forties) I was underweight, not by choice though. I could and did eat everything I wanted but never went over 132 lbs. I am 6' tall so that IS underwight. I would get upset when people would assert that models are all starved and deprived. My daughter is stunning and has modeled in the past in NYC and eats like a truck driver. We just matobolize things faster than most people. I remember being embarrassed that I was so angular and my hip bones would hurt from rubbing against my jeans. I wanted to be softer and rounder like the women in ancient art. Now I am early 50's and weigh 190 - I am slower and get winded easier. I've got the roundness but feel REALLY unhealthy. I now am looking to lose lbs to feel better and improve my health. I'm being more aware of what I eat and making changes to be more active. Just being on this path to wellness with small improvements along the way keeps me focused and positive.

"You are the one who is supposed to have the knowledge that we don't.......an even more offensive retort is very unproffesional"

Only one "F" and two "S" in unprofessional. Maybe he is more knowledgeable. lol