My Secret History

Sitting here reading the comments that have been posted here, I feel ashamed of our society. I am amazed at the shallowness of some of the responders. Yes, there are alot of overweight people. Alot of them are trying to do something about it. Fortunately, most of them can. As for the inconsiderate people here that have responded with their snide comments, I'm sorry for you. Sorry that you feel it is ok to be inconsiderate and rude to the overweight. Everybody has some type of flaw, as nobody is made perfect. Maybe you don't hear others discussing YOUR flaw, but believe me, they see it very clearly.
As to the overweight, do whatever needs to be done to be healthy. You don't need to be a size 4 to be healthy. Don't heed the snide comments from others. There are many successful people in the world that could stand to lose a pound or two. Only you have the controls of the destiny of your life. Make something happen instead of listening to others say you can't or won't because you weigh too much. That is the silliest excuse that you can let yourself believe.

I can relate to this story. I was "the fat kid" growing up until I starved my way to being thin. I did it because I couldnt stand the teasing and whispering behind my back. I was after all just a kid. Now that I'm older and a bit wiser, I share my experience with others that struggle to lose weight.
If someone did try to be cruel to someone who is overweight in my presence or make fat jokes, I do tell them that I use to be fat once and point out what an a**hole they are.

Okay, after reading ALL the comments I wanted to add: I didn't have health issues that caused my weight, I had health issues caused BY my weight. But I got to be obese because I was raised by a family of obese people. Today's generation was raised by families who were heavily influenced by easy "to go" foods and drive thrus. My mom thought her 8 year old eating half a pizza was normal. I grew up with those choices. By the time I was 30, I had never stopped to think about what was healthy choices for me. I just ate like I ALWAYS HAD. It took a stroke for me to realize what I was doing to myself. Even then, my family said things like "you're just big boned and have a slow metabolism. It's genetic". It doesn't mean I was a lazy ass, it just means I had learned bad habits and apparently so has over half the American population. It doesn't make us "bad" it just makes us overweight. 2 years of Weight Watchers and running has made me a healthy, trim woman, but I still remember the issues that the fat me went thru, and it's alot to deal with. In support of Megan's position - keeping our mouth shut about our previous fat girl status is easier then saying something and getting lambasted by the conversants about how ugly and unattractive it is and how glad they are I "finally see the light". Give me a f--king break. I speak up, proudly, about those lost 114 pounds, just in the right forum.

The new thin me is hard to get used to Having lost 75lbs in 10 months after lap band surgery. The positive comments are wonderful however I have mixed feelings as I wonder did Anyone take me seroiusly or was I just invisible when I was larger.

Having been well over 315 myself and with most of my friends and family over weight when I lost 115 last year without medical help. I find my self being excluded from their activities. This goes both ways.

Very courageous indeed! Obesity is the shameful secret of the world, but we all see it and some of us live it. I'm over 200 pounds now and have found a doctor to guide me through weight loss without surgery. This woman is still ashamed of herself and the world around her. She isn't only standing up for us, she is standing up for the person she used to be. In my opinion she wanted to be skinny to forget who she was and what she looked like. Just as bad as being a Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton. I don't and won't applaud this woman for not speaking out or saying she hopes she 'won't' be afraid to next time. I know I have never been silent in defending obese people when I'm obese myself and I won't hesitate to defend "us" when I get to my target weight. This woman that wrote this story makes me sick, she is as bad as everyone else is in Hollywood and the world!

Thank you Megan. I too was morbidly obese. I had a stroke at 32 and was told I would die if I didn't do something quick. 2 years later and 114 pounds lighter, I still have another 15 pounds to lose, but I continue to be amazed at the reactions of people. The most shocking one for me is the obese people in my life who consider me "a traitor". What? And then there are the thin people who didn't know me when, who make comments about others and I have to admit I have the mental battle if I should stand up for them and reveal my past or just keep my mouth shut and say nothing. Until you've worn the shoes, you have no idea the mental baggage that comes with this kind of transformation.

i was morbidly obese all my life. Weighed 315 at my highest weight. I had the suegery october 2006. I weigh 175 now and am struggling to get to 150 .I experience so many predjudices being over weight but was not prepared for the attitiudes I would encounter once the weight was off . Some people were truly happy for me and encouraging others were not as kind and I lost friendships and working relationships because of the change. I am still getting used to my new size . It is so different to put on a size ten jeans ( I was a 26) I still feel like the same person inside but people do treat you different .

Ok. I'm not fat and I'm not thin. I think I'm chubby. My ribs don't show through my skin but I'm healthy and happy... However, if being chubby is enough to keep away from this 'thin group', I say bring on the cake and cookies. These thin people who judge the overweight are nothing better than racists, and probably still have not got over the self asteem problems they tried so hard to hide in public school. All the world is a play ground!

This article immediatly grabbed my attention being that a can completely relate to this. a little over a year ago i sat in the same position of being severley overweight. although in this article the weight lose was ahceived through surgery mine was acheived the old fashioned way of dieting an excercise. I first want to express my happiness for anyone who takes an active role in changing what they can about their health. It takes alot of courage and discipline to do that. But as that happens we can't forget where we came from. I will alwaya carry with me my membership card to the obese club as I am now accepted into this thin club. I now am a bodybuilder but i will never forget those comments and jokes of fat people. So to any one newly thin don't forget. and to those like the one person who says to " stop wallowing in self pity" seems to have no clue to how it feels to be on the other side. Maybe you should spend your time reading something you know about.

I think I'm chubby. I'm not fat and I'm not thin. If being chubby excludes me from the pathetic insider group that judges the over weight, I hope to remain chubby for the rest of my life in order to avoid these people. They're no better than racists and frankly I feel their judgement reflects inner problems they are not strong enough to overcome. My God- all the world is a playground.

It seems to me that you have alot going on that you need professional counseling for. You took the first step by having the surgery, but you still have not accepted the total evolution of who you are. You are a great person whether thick or thin, yet in your thin state, you having a problem being open about who you've become. Is the person that you've become that much greater, than who you were before? If so then share the knowledge. You're not being real to yourself or others, by letting fear grip you to the point, where you can't speak openly. When you're open speak up, you let people know, not only do you have a voice, but you're a living testimony, and their judgments need to be put in check. You mentioned Star Jones terminology of the medical intervention, well as you see her silence and choice of terminology cost her alot; and she at the beginning of a new rainbow admitted that she chose to say that because she was ashamed and felt like a failure for choosing the gastric bypass. So what is the name that you will give to yourself for the way to choose to keep your silence, and deny your true self?? I can relate to the bravery in your mom when she spoke out and warned you not to speak any unkind words about the overweight woman on the picture.....pray for her bravery in your life, and even more ask God for strength to accept who you are from the inside out. I sincerely advise you to seek professional counseling, before this silent denial gets too far out of control, and you seek relief in food or other soothers. Be Blessed, and lift up your voice!! As long as you have the ability to speak you have a choice. Choose to speak life into yourself and others

This is a different type of story; touching and yet sad. Here is a person, who has reached their weight loss goals only to have lost her complete self. What is it to gain false popularity and lose your true identity? You were a unique person and shold be that same unique person with lesser pounds. I recommend that you seek professional psychiatric help before you regain your weight back and half a nervous breakdown about trying to be someone who you are not. You are endorsing all of the negative comments that others make in correlation to "fat" people with your silence, simply because you don't want to take a stand. And by the way, you mentioned Star Jones terminology of a medical intervention; what are you naming yours? because if the truth be told you have a hide and go seek operation going on, without ever pursuing the latter. You need to seek help my friend, and figure out why you are ashamed to take a stand, when you have achieved something wonderful

I experienced the same things you have mentioned. The change came for me when I could not walk up a hil carrying my neice in the winter time. I was 276 pounds. I had tried everything and had little success, and even with that success, could not keep the weight off. I had aches and pains that kept me from sleeping. So I finally went and had the Fobi pouch 9 years ago. I lost 121 pounds and have never felt better. I can eat everything and do eat about 5-6 times a day. I have been to my physician annually and always try to be active. The one thing I did not change is my attitude towards being fat. I still carry my drivers license in my wallet that shows my picture at 276 but says I weigh 165. This brings me back to reality. The other thing is if someone asks me about me being fit or skinny, I tell them how I got here. I an not embarrassed, I am proud I took that step and have stayed healthy and skinny against what everyone else beleived at that time. No one supported this surgery, but my husband. He was with me the whole way. Lucky for you, you had Bea. Thanks for the great article and I hope that it inspires others to see themselves in a better light.

What a pleasure to read your story. The same feelings, I think, follow us through any other huge change from 'socially unacceptable' to 'in-crowd'. Poverty to wealth. School drop-out to college grad. Inmate to civilian. Other changes are not as visible, as you said, and we don't have the blessing of looking back at those pictures to remind us of where we have been.

It would be good if we did. You are blessed by that insight.

My eyes welled up with tears when I read "be careful what you say about that girl, I loved her very much", her mothers comment touched my heart. I was 128 lbs until I turned 30, and now have put on over 80 lbs. I have two beautiful, "thin" daughters who look the way I once did. I'm happy in my skin regardless of the looks I do get from people who are thin and all wrinkled up. I am an amazing dental hygienist, and can work circles around my collegues, and all the "over weight" patients seek me out because I don't judge them and treat them with the kindness everyone deserves.

Its time for MOST fat people to stop wallowing in self pity. Stop making excuses, all it does is affect YOUR own health. Forget the comments from others, that's the least of your problems. Take charge of your health to the extent you can. If you need medical intervention, seek it, If you need self control, work towards it. But please stop making excuses, stop the "woe is me" story for your own sakes.

I agree that some people do have a medical reason they are obse. But some may just need to take charge of their health to drop the pounds. Best to stop focussing on what "thin" people say, I am really tired of hearing adults cry "she's not nice to me!" Wake up, that's the world. There's no justice, there are people all over the world in worse condition than you are. They are not just targets of comments but in most cases targets of physical ill treatment and all kinids of abuse. So forget all this crap.

First of all, Newsweek - stop posting such articles laden with self pity. Stop propagating this crap about "he said, she said, she hurt me, she commented". Dont you have better stuff to report about?

Its time for MOST fat people to stop wallowing in self pity. Stop making excuses, all it does is affect YOUR own health. Forget the comments from others, that's the least of your problems. Take charge of your health to the extent you can. If you need medical intervention, seek it, If you need self control, work towards it. But please stop making excuses, stop the "woe is me" story for your own sakes.

I agree that some people do have a medical reason they are obse. But some may just need to take charge of their health to drop the pounds. Best to stop focussing on what "thin" people say, I am really tired of hearing adults cry "she's not nice to me!" Wake up, that's the world. There's no justice, there are people all over the world in worse condition than you are. They are not just targets of comments but in most cases targets of physical ill treatment and all kinids of abuse. So forget all this crap.

First of all, Newsweek - stop posting such articles laden with self pity. Stop propagating this crap about "he said, she said, she hurt me, she commented". Dont you have better stuff to report about?