My Secret History

As a lady who used to weigh 312 lbs.- at 5' 7" tall, I can fully relate to this beautiful young woman's story. I suffered through the ridicule, distain and outright contempt of a great percentage of the people I came across throughout my life. The verbal and emotional abuse I endured even came from my father and brother. In late 2001 and early 2002, I watched my mum (never more than 45 lbs. overweight in her life) lose 40 lbs. in two months and suffer through pancreatic cancer while Kaiser Permanente waited for her to die. On her death bed, she begged me to "live". I sat on a waiting list for the gastric bypass surgery for nearly two years, but, in 2004, I was freed from my misery when I underwent the surgery. In less than 18 months, I lost over half my body weight. People treat me completely differently now and that makes me sad. I am the same person today as I have always been- loving and kind, accepting of others and deserving of respect. When I come across someone who wouldn't give me the time of day before my weight loss, but now wants to embrace me and fawn over me, I must fight to not treat them in the same manner they once treated me. People, as a rule, are sad and shallow creatures. When I happen to encounter truly gentle, wonderful people, I embrace them and take them into my heart- as only a truly beautiful person can. Kudos to all of the good, kind and compassionate people out there!!!!!
K.W.

P.S. THANK GOD for Dr. Richard Tillquist of Englewood, Colorado!!!!!!!!

Oh, come on, get over and enjoy being normal! Obese is unhealthy AND unattractive. Societal standards have nothing to do with that, evolution has made it that way. Accepting people's obesisty as "normal" is on the same order as accepting alcoholism. Makes your "friends" feel good in the short run, but what price do they pay in the long term? Enough with this worship of "instant gratification" over long term health and happiness.

Oh, come on, get over it for Pete's sake! Obese is UNHEALTHY! And UNATTRACTIVE (that's how evolution has "decided" it, NOT society. Too bad if you can;t deal with that)! There 's no reason whatsoever any one should "accept" someone being obese. It's like "accepting" someone getting drunk every night. Maybe it makes them feel good in the short run, but man, there are more important things than instant gratification. Like living a healhty, longer, happier life.

I also agree with the author. I recently lost 76 pounds and am down to a size 8 jeans from a size 18. People react much diferently to me now then they did before i lost the weight. It's too bad people that are naturally thin can't get a dose of what's it like to have a weight problem.

I totally agree with the author. After losing 180 pounds in the past 11 months from gastric bypass, I have learned first hand the stigma associated with being overweight. It's too bad that people can't accept others for who they are, not what they look like.

You have clearly depicted the bias and outrageous slings and arrows. As a thyroid cancer survivor I know that not everyone who is overweight is lazy or an overeater. First impressions are important but they are not a true measure of a person's worth.

I agree with the author...it is a whole new world being thin than being heavy. I went on the diet medi-fast and lost approx 70 lbs taking me from a size 18 to a size 8. It is a great feeling to be able to go into stores and shop. Funny, though....I didn't get this much attention from the sales girls when I was heavy, or dressed schlumpy because that is all that would fit me. I didn't get whistled at while I was pumping gas, I was basically invisible! It is a good feeling to re-enter the world, but at the same time, I wonder what kind of world I am re-entering that it made a difference what size my jeans were! It is hard to re-adjust to life being thinner and not a lot of people talk about that. How people treat you differently...your own friends as you melt away. Some are encouraging, some are threatened, some are downright sabotagers! Thanks to the author for showing this side of things!

Congratulations on your success. I have lost 120 pounds thanks to gastric bypass surgery. I am not ashamed to admit that I could not lose the weight on my own. I tried a lot of different diets and exercise plans.Not everyone who is overweight is lazy and an overeater. Medical conditions such as an inactive thryoid and certain medications make it very difficult to lose. Most people don't realize that this surgery is not a snap decision or a quick fix. This is a major surgery and you have to really be committed to getting healthy. My doctor and I talked about this for 3 years before we decided it was time . After that it was another yeat of different doctors,testing and meeting with nutritionists before the surgery was done. Knowing that you can't do it alone and asking for help does not make you a failure.

The discrimination prevalent in today's society against people who are larger than average and considered ???overweight??? by outmoded scales of measurement appears to be embedded at every level of government; the very entity that is supposed to establish codes of conduct for society to follow. As an example, in the great State of Oklahoma, a sitting Judge felt competent enough to make a joke of an entire family's weight bringing the entire courtroom, save the plaintiff and his family, to laughter while appearing to suppress her own humorous response. Opposing counsel repeatedly harangued the plaintiff???s family about their size and their weight, apparently, with the Judge???s implicit acceptance in an effort to make size and weight factors in the ability of a person to raise their own child; a child that was healthy despite being raised by the ???overweight??? parent. Custody of the child was lost by the overweight parent. A complaint was filed against the government employee for their conduct, the review board dismissed the complaint and failed to admonish the Judge for her actions. If a person in such a prestigious position is allowed to publicly make comments disparaging people???s size and weight from the bench, how can we expect other ???less empowered citizens??? to hold a different perspective? IT MUST START AT THE TOP! We must demand of our elected and appointed leaders a modicum of compassion and dignity for ALL persons, not just those meeting a proscribed societal norm: thin.

I have been fat and I have been thin. Thin is better. A lot of fat people have poor diets and poor role models. It is so easy to be fat and so hard to get skinny but it is worth it. We hve to do without a lot and be on guard for hidden fats and calories. But once you reach your weight goal, you feel so good about yourself your attitude changes about everything. Not just about clothes. For everyone trying to lose weight, don't give up !

Congratilations Megan! Thank you for writing such an insightful piece. I am a member of your club. Four years ago I lost 60 pounds on a low carb regimen that I follow to this day (with pleasure). I have mixed feelings because I am now considered "normal" size at size 12 but still relate to those considered "fat". When I go clothes shopping now I still tend to gravitate to the plus-size dpeartment where nothing fits me ,of course. What bothers me tremendously is all the special reports they do on Entertainment Tonight and such shows where they put thin peoplke in fat suits and send them off into the city to ride the subway, go out to eat, etc. Theyb protray them as all having the same problems, same feelings, beeing subjects of either constant scorn or pity. I never experienced either, at least not overtly. At my highest weight I enjoyed the most success professionally and I was very happy in my personal life (together with the same man through thick and thin). And to those who comment about being lazy, gluttonous, etc. I can only tell you from my individual standpoint that you don't have a clue whatb you are talking about! I am known in my area as "the girl who walks everywhere" having spent years walking two miles each way to my job year-round in every conceivable type of weather. And I was gaining more weight every year! I had become a victim of the misinformation campaign run by special interest food groups who convinced us that fat in food was our enemy and all you had to do to lose weight and be healthy was to avoid it! Nothing could be further from the truth as I have come to discover. When people started to notice my new food choices (bacon and eggs for breakfast, nuts throughout the day, meats with the fat still on, chicken and turkey with the skin still on, theyv all thought I was heading to an early grave. Guess what? I lost weight and my blood pressure and cholesterol both went down! In the beginning my doctor didn't approve but agreed to monitor my progress. Four years later he went to a lowcarb regimen to take off 18 pounds. I asked him why he chose to try something he initially debunked as unhealthy. His reply: "I tried everything else and nothing else worked." When I started this journey I didn't suddenly find a giant well of willpower. The food plan that I started to follow provided a built-in system that eliminated the urge to eat sweets and other empty carbs. I don't avoid them altogether but eating "normal" mostly whole foods is such a satisfying diet that I don't feel the need. I am most emphatically the same person I was 60 pounds ago (at 4'11") but my exterior has changed. So when people make ignorant and insensitive remarks judging a whole group of people that they make assumptions about, I still take it personally and try to educate them. I wish you well on your continued journey in your thinner exterior and hope that others that others will come to realize that indeed we are NOT what we eat.

A lot of fat is caused by poor diet and poor role models. I've been thin and I've been fat. Thin is better. It is hard work but once you get there you feel soooo good about youself ! It changes you in many areas of your life. With more self esteem you have a positive attitude about life.

I am overweight not by alot but enough where my doctor keeps bugging me about it. I have a very inactive tyriod so its a little harder to loose the weight, i can but it takes more work.I am actively trying to loose weight, i take my pills everyday, i eat heathly smaller portions and exercise. But i disagree with alot of you people saying that FAT people are lazy and inactive and choose to be this way. I never CHOOSE to be fat, i tried for years to try and loose weight until the doctors finally decided to check my thyroid. And the reason you may see some inactive fat people is because there are people like some of you out there laughing and critizing them for even showing their face in public and exercsing. I dont go to the gym cause there are too many people saying o your too fat to work out dont bother trying. So no wonder some people wont go out and exercise. so which is it? help them have the courage and sefl-esteem to exercise and stop critizing them or just point and laugh and say get off your fat ass and do something. Even when i do get to my ideal weight i will still be considered FAT to some of you people cause i am about 6 feet with very large bones- and no i am not saying that to lie to myself i had tests done by many different doctors. For woman you either have to look likea stick to be noticed. Instead of everyone saying FAT people are a burdan on the health system why dont you guys stop smoking and drinking---you arent helping the system either. And there are alot of very beautiful sexy LARGE women out there. I do love my curves,it took my awhile to accept them but i did and i think if i ever did get to skinny i would miss my curves--i think it makes me look more like woman and not a plastic barbie doll. And for the people who were once fat and now say to other fat people to get off their ass and that they choose to be that way you can tell they never accepted who they were before and that they dont even accept who they are now. People like you are the reason alot of fat people dont want to go out and exrcise. I heard a story of a woman who had to hide and exercise before the sun came up because people didnt want to see her but yet those people say she should get off her butt and work out.

I am overweight not by alot but enough where my doctor keeps bugging me about it. I have a very inactive tyriod so its a little harder to loose the weight, i can but it takes more work.I am actively trying to loose weight, i take my pills everyday, i eat heathly smaller portions and exercise. But i disagree with alot of you people saying that FAT people are lazy and inactive and choose to be this way. I never CHOOSE to be fat, i tried for years to try and loose weight until the doctors finally decided to check my thyroid. And the reason you may see some inactive fat people is because there are people like some of you out there laughing and critizing them for even showing their face in public and exercsing. I dont go to the gym cause there are too many people saying o your too fat to work out dont bother trying. So no wonder some people wont go out and exercise. so which is it? help them have the courage and sefl-esteem to exercise and stop critizing them or just point and laugh and say get off your fat ass and do something. Even when i do get to my ideal weight i will still be considered FAT to some of you people cause i am about 6 feet with very large bones- and no i am not saying that to lie to myself i had tests done by many different doctors. For woman you either have to look likea stick to be noticed. Instead of everyone saying FAT people are a burdan on the health system why dont you guys stop smoking and drinking---you arent helping the system either. And there are alot of very beautiful sexy LARGE women out there. I do love my curves,it took my awhile to accept them but i did and i think if i ever did get to skinny i would miss my curves--i think it makes me look more like woman and not a plastic barbie doll. And for the people who were once fat and now say to other fat people to get off their ass and that they choose to be that way you can tell they never accepted who they were before and that they dont even accept who they are now. People like you are the reason alot of fat people dont want to go out and exrcise. I heard a story of a woman who had to hide and exercise before the sun came up because people didnt want to see her but yet those people say she should get off her butt and work out.

I just joined the newly thin club so I can relate to Meg. For most my life, I have been overweight/obese. To compensate for my weight problem, I developed and honed a witty, humorous, and magnetic personality. With my new found thinness, I discovered that the skinnier me is quite attractive to the opposite sex. The personality combined with the new looks is quite the combination - so much that my world has completely turned upside down.

As with anything, there are always the pros and the cons. For starters, it is really nice to receive attention and have the opposite sex pursue you. The flip side is my once close friends now view me as a major chivarly competitor so I get accidently left out of the loop sometimes....

What's my point you may ask? For one, people are not treatly differently based on whether they are fat or thin. It's race, religion, sex, physical characteristics...I can go on forever but you get the point - everyone judges and treats people differently based on their predjudices. Eliminating this discriminating would be like trying to boil the ocean.

To my next point of discussion, I want to address the debate on whether obesity is a "choice". I am no doctor and I have not dedicated my life to study this but I have the following insight to share. I know people who eat three times as much as me and stay skinny a twig and I also know people who eat very little but are overweight/obese. The potential that genetics/disorders can affect one's weight is not that far fetched. Of course, there is also the potential that one can greatly influence their physical appearance through education, diet, and excercise.

Regardless of where you lie in this spectrum, neither should be an excuse for you not do anyting about it. With all my positive experiences in my new found self, I highly enourage everyone take that first step towards a new, healther you.

We should neither be obese nor too thin for a variety of reasons...It's all about balance...Weight in numbers doen't matter much...It's how one carries themselves and has a strong immune system...But most of all, it is really how one feels within one's self...I struggled for years to be thin, had bulimia for years, starved myself, underwent liposculpture, became a lifetime member of JC but suddenly I found myself wasting time on an image that I could never be. I am not finally realizing that I have to love myself at any size and work on being a healthy person...I am embracing my curves and they are for sure in all the "right" places...We need to learn to love our bodies and minds!

We should neither be obese nor too thin for a variety of reasons...It's all about balance...Weight in numbers doen't matter much...It's how one carries themselves and has a strong immune system...But most of all, it is really how one feels within one's self...I struggled for years to be thin, had bulimia for years, starved myself, underwent liposculpture, became a lifetime member of JC but suddenly I found myself wasting time on an image that I could never be. I am not finally realizing that I have to love myself at any size and work on being a healthy person...I am embracing my curves and they are for sure in all the "right" places...We need to learn to love our bodies and minds!

Congrats on your successful weight loss but honey, get some therapy. It is a real shame that you cannot accept yourself--the "thin" you and the "fat" you are the same person. You are still stuck in the tire. You have the opportunity to educate the idiots who discriminate. I wish you courage for the journey!!!

I am so tired of the shrilly thin judging fat people and walking around acting as though they are morally superior. Fat is NOT, for the most part, a choice, any more than "tall" is a choice, and even if it is, it isn't anyone else's busienss. It is a MYTH that fat people are bankrupting the economy. This is plain old, every day scapegoating. The "repercussions" of being fat should not, in any event, include having to listen to total strangers assume the worst of you, based purely on what you look like. People are not obligated to change their wide bodies so others won't have to change their narrow minds.This is why people are saying "thank you" to Megan. I would like to add my thanks. It is, however, unfortunate that only a thin person can get away with what she said. Given the juvenile, inane, alarmist garbage I've found posted here in response to her excellent piece, I shudder to think what would've happened had "fat Megan" written this piece. Then again, it's not as if Newsweek would've had the courage to publish it, had that been the case.