When Adoption Goes Wrong

How can some of us who experienced this same hell help this poor woman? Please email me at 1northernlight@gmail.com.

I feel bad for Peggy Hilt, when she needed support, no one was there for her. It's a hard situation that no one can understand unless you are living it. I hope more extreme education can be done before families adopt children. The risks have to be heard. I know from experience!

Couldn't get all of it in, so please read the last one too.

My oldest daughter is an absolute model child. I can't tell you how many people have asked me how I raised her to be such a sweetheart, great student, easygoing kid. I am a good parent. But you cannot effectively parent children who do not want parents. They want their own mother and father. Since their mom is deceased and father is in prison, that's not possible, but it is what they want. At this point, my hope is to raise them to adulthood with the hope that they will one day understand some of what we tried to teach them and live reasonably productive lives in which they don't rob, kill or maim anyone or abuse their own children. I'm doing the best I can. But I can certainly sympathize with Hicks experience. By God's grace, I have a support system and when I feel as frustrated as she did, which happens at least every other day, I have people who I can lean on. Hicks did what any other human would have done who had no support and who was understood by no one. Until you have lived with a RADish, you have no earthly idea what it is like. It is more difficult and painful and takes you way past the breaking point of any human being. And it does this day after day after day. Have some sympathy before you start throwing the poop out of your own diaper at people living with this every day. Clearly, Hicks feels abhorrent of what she's done, does she really need more condemnation. Live with a RAD child for a while, and then live with yourself, and then see whether you still have it in you to poop slin

A friend told me of this aritcle and so I read. I'm a mom of two adopted RAD kids. They were 7 and 8 when they came to me and, as others have noted, no one told me even half of their issues. Certainly, no one mentioned RAD, not that I would have understood because it wasn't a part of my training. When I first discovered their diagnosis, I read all I could on how to help them. I had such hope that we'd be able to help them. I remember reading that one of the symtoms of RAD kids is that they have angry and hostile moms. I knew that wasn't true of me, but the rest of the symptoms fit. Now almost five years later, I understand all too well what it means to be an angry and hostile mom. Don't get me wrong, I'm not this way by nature and I'm not this way with my oldest daughter, who isn't RAD. People who know me describe me as bubbly, friendly and a born leader. But......having lived with 2 RAD children for that length of time has taken a great toll. No, I haven't started drinking, but I have gained about 80lbs from all the emotional eating I've done. Living with children who have RAD means the following: you are living with people who hate your guts, completely, they would like to see you dead, they will plot how to kill you and your family, they will never appreciate anything you or anyone else does for them, this is especially true if they have another RAD sibling who helps them relive their prior horrors every day, you have to watch your children every moment of every day to keep them from hurting themselves or others, literally. Other people will NEVER understand why you complain because your con artist children will behave like perfect angels around others. The things they do are very difficult to detect, because they are expert cons. Your life will be a living hell and you will feel like a complete failure as a parent.

no adopted parent will ever be a childs parent they are suppost to give them a good home and raise them do not try to be the parent because you cant you do not have the smell or touch of there parent and should just be providing a safe home for the child and help them be a good adult..and know right from wrong and they should know who there real parent is to and you explain to them that their parent was sick or under eduacated and was unable to care for them do not try to be their parent because you will never replace that even if you try..

I dont think kids should be adopted i think we need to show the under educated one how to do it and all kids should stay with there natural parents and we should help them because some people are bad people and could be foster parents and not know it And it mentally damages some kids who are adopted. There could be medical problems that are never addressed bc the adopted poepple do not know of...And it is just morally wrong and the kids should stay with the parents and we should have more resource to help..Only if the parent dies or goes to jail for life. We give up on our poeple so quick and fair to teach them rather than label them.........What kind of world is this..........................................................We have foriegn people coming over here that are foster parents and have no clue how to raise our kids my brother is in this situation and its a very sad world we live in.....................

str8, first of all she wasn't an alcoholic, the stress of not knowing how to handle the situation she was in led her to drinking. Second, she isn't crazed and she isn't a sociopath, she is just a woman who got into a situation that was beyond her capabilities of handling and lost it. How do you know how you would react in that situation unless you have lived it? I want to clarify myself and state that I DO NOT agree in any way with what she did, but I can understand what happened. I went thru a bad bout of post-partum depression after I had my daughter, and believe me, that was the absolute HARDEST thing I have ever had to deal with. I could not connect with her on an emotional level, I just felt like I was babysitting and the mother would not come get her child. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter to death and can't imagine life without her, but it took a VERY long time to get that attachment to her. I was 22 when I had her and I thank God every day that I knew when I had reached my limit and I also thank my family for being there for me so that I had a safe place to take her when I felt I was going to hurt her. Not everyone has that and not everyone sees it coming like I did. Now, she is 6 yrs. old and we are just about inseperable. But I still remember how it felt and it scares me to think that if I hadn't had an out, I could see myself hurting her. I like to think that I would NEVER do that to a defenseless child, but when you are overwhelmed ANYTHING can happen. I feel sorry for Mrs. Hilt for not knowing what to do when she had enough. I pray for her and hope she can work thru her pain and pray to God and her child and ask their forgiveness for what she did. May God have mercy on her and forgive her her sins.

In Love and Light,
an understanding person

I'm a psychologist who works with autistic children and noticed that these adopted children have a lot in common with autistic ones. The symptoms are the same, but the causes are different. Autism is very genetic but obviously many of these orphans have simply suffered from a lack of adequate affection in their early years. I wonder if Applied Behavioral Analysis would work for these children too, as it does with autistics.

It seems that the comment from "memo" below only perpetuates a long-lasting conspiracy theory (re: mercury causing autism). Hearsay and innuendoes are a poor, poor substitute for scientific fact. People who do not vaccinate their children - or, even worse, harrange others into not vaccinating their children - are fools.

I am contemplating domestic vs. international adoption and one of the factors that I am weighing is: no matter how many children are orphaned in the US, the orphans abroad will fare much worse in life. Here in the US, we have a national system of child care and fostering homes, with federal support for the children until they are in their 20s. A orphaned girl in China might never have the opportunity to go to school or get out of an orphanage let alone live in foster homes.

I am contemplating domestic vs. international adoption and one of the factors that I am weighing is: no matter how many children are orphaned in the US, the orphans abroad will fare much worse in life. Here in the US, we have a national system of child care and fostering homes, with federal support for the children until they are in their 20s. A orphaned girl in China might never have the opportunity to go to school or get out of an orphanage let alone live in foster homes.

Has anyone pondered the notion that the Mercury in vaccines causes Autism and RAD.
The child in this story sounds exactly like my vaccine damaged Mercury toxic BIOLOGICAL son.