It used to be that children were placed for adoption because they were orphans, illegitimate, or because poverty left their parents no other alternative.
In the current "adoption market," parental instability (primarily mental and emotional ) seems to be the common denominator in children ending up in the adoption sector of society. I believe this is true in America by a longshot and, with respect to certain areas overseas, -- primarily Russia and some Eastern European populations -- this is also true, despite claims by adoptionists that oppressiveillnesses are the key reasons for relinquishing children to the adoption system. economic conditions serve as the principal catalyst for the parental decision to surrender children for adoption.. No. Parental Alcoholism, drug addiction, abuse of all kinds (including sexual abuse) and mental illnesses are the key factors influencing the decision to place children for adoption. Later on, some or all of those ills become apparent in the offspring as well.
Here's an idea: Reward and remunerate citizens who reliably practice birth control; ensure that the remuneration is greater than the amount these people would receive in public assistance for an average of three kids. If such a proposal seems like an outrageous expense, think of the projected financial implications a hypothetical government will suffer should the current trend continue unabated. Until we put a cork in the dike of indiscriminate reproduction, we'll continue to witness the continuation of a long line of sociopaths and severely mentally impaired people being marketed to prospective parents as "adoptable."
Either that, or start putting the money where it really belongs: into the hands of the heroes who adopt these otherwise unadoptable children.
When Adoption Goes Wrong
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Purvis is quick to say that her techniques don't work with every child, and older kids can take much longer than younger ones. "They have to unlearn what they've learned," she said. The next step, she says, is for prospective adoptive parents to get more training before and after they adopt. "Very few agencies are training parents to deal with brain damage, sensory deprivation, aggression," Purvis says. "A lot of these parents are smitten with the hope that they'll make a difference in a child's life, but they need very practical tools. I consider myself very pro-adoption. But I'm also very pro informed adoption. "
Peggy Hilt wishes she'd heard this message years ago. "If I knew then what I know now," she says, "I would have gotten help for Nina and for me." The best she can hope for now, she says, is that her story will prompt others to seek that help before it's too late.
Warning Signs for Adoptive Parents
Adopted children often go through a period of transition and adjustment once arriving in the United States from another country, but sometimes problems persist, behavior worsens, or new problems arise with time. Acting out and defiance may be protective measures children take because of a history of abuse, neglect or maltreatment. Karyn Purvis, director of Texas Christian University's Institute of Child Development and an expert in the treatment of troubled adoptees, says parents may need to seek the counsel of a clinician who specializes in international adoption cases if their child consistently exhibits any of these behaviors:
- Sexual acting out, like masturbating or inappropriate touching of others
- Aggressive, bullying, violent behavior
- Night terrors or sleep problems caused by fear
- Behavioral melt-downs when parents are trying to get the child to do homework, or when there is lots of noise or activity
- Resistance to any expression of affection, like kisses and hugs from family members, but approaches strangers indiscriminately
- Explosive anger when confronted with relatively minor disappointments or delays
- Insists on being in control at all times
- Terrified of being alone, or the other extreme, insists on being left alone
- Hoarding or stealing food
With Anna Nemtsova in Moscow
© 2007
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