Letter From America: Bah, Humbug!

Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens,
Mix the punch, drag out the Dickens.
Even though the prospect sickens:
Brother, here we go again.

The nation already has one distinctive and unique holiday, with historically religious origins but no ghastly tradition of gift-giving. Christmas follows too soon upon Thanksgiving not to tread upon it.

Again in contrast with Europe, Americans allow themselves remarkably few days off. Memorial Day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Columbus Day, Veterans Day and that's about it. I suspect that there are a number of people who would rather have their mail delivered, be able to do some business and get an intelligent answer out of the other end of the phone than ingest another pointless and often tasteless roast fowl.

Take these two points together and one has the basis for a reasoned objection to the whole Christmas imposition. It is (a) pseudo-Christianity in a multicultural society, and thus as offensive (one hopes and presumes) to Christians as to nonbelievers. It is (b) a pseudoholiday that creates as much boredom and depression as exhilaration. This ought to be enough to qualify it as anti-American.

Returning from Chicago to my hometown of Washington, I read with interest the many upset comments about this year's White House plans. The annual tour of the Executive Mansion's various trimmings has been closed to the public and will be available only to the elite. "Security" was of course the justification. But there was more than one Washingtonian who thought that any diminution of the Christmas hysteria was better than none.

HITCHENS IS A COLUMNIST FOR VANITY FAIR.

© 2001