The Borowitz Report: The Trouble With Travel

At the conclusion of the conference, Fossett brushed aside reporters who questioned whether he had ever actually completed any trip he had begun.

"What? Sure, plenty of times," Fossett said, testily. "Like last January, when my friend Dave asked me to come over and watch the Super Bowl on his big-screen TV. I made it all the way there."

Fossett's friend Dave, however, remembered the events surrounding the Super Bowl somewhat differently. "Yeah, right," Dave said, laughing at Fossett's account of the evening. "The Super Bowl? Steve was a no-show. He called up at the last minute and said the roads were too slippery, and he didn't want to risk it, whatever. Vintage Fossett."

Borowitz is the author of "The Trillionaire Next Door." He is a regular contributor of humor to both The New Yorker and New York Times and publishes his own Web site: www.borowitzreport.com

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