THE LAW

Suburban Swingers

On a quiet street in a Dallas suburb, dozens of guests have been meeting for sex in a private house. Do they have a right to party?

By Gretel C. Kovach | Newsweek Web Exclusive
Dec 14, 2007 | Updated: 6:14  p.m. ET Dec 14, 2007

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  • Posted By: stargazinc @ 04/07/2009 5:58:24 PM

    <a href="http://www.online4love.com">free sex</a>

  • Posted By: CouplesClickTV @ 03/11/2009 2:09:50 AM

    I'm just glad to see the issue of swinging covered in publications such as Newsweek. Awareness and education are obviously needed based on some of the absurd comments we have read here. We too have been married for over 14 years. Our experiences with organized religion nearly destroyed our relationship. The past 10 years however have been absolutely amazing .. and we are in the lifestyle. As our way to give back we created www.couplesclick.tv Prudes ... Don't worry, it's not adult material. It's simply a vast and organized database for information related to the lifestyle.

    You know, we keep seeing all of the comments about "rights" "liberty" etc etc. It may astonish many that we have a HUGE following amongst couples in the armed forces. The tell us that they fight for freedom, not repression or bondage. They tell us to keep reporting truth and we are inclined to oblige!

    Happy Swinging!
    Couples Click

  • Posted By: stargazinc @ 03/16/2008 8:30:32 AM

    http://www.online4love.com is the primary way my husband and I meet likeminded "friends with benefits." There's no uncomfortable wondering if you ought to approach someone, you already know upfront when you meet them, and it is definitely worth the extra cost of becoming silver/gold imo, so you can exchange notes or pics before meeting and make sure its a good fit.

    My hubby is str8 and I am bi and we have had no problem finding partners on online4love.com. We've had fun sex with lots of single men, single women and full swap couples that we met on O4L. And yes, I'm real, and no, I don't work for O4L or think they're perfect (they can be pricey and they goober up email sometimes,) but I think they're the best thing going by far for meeting other people who just want to have sex without strings!

  • Posted By: LibertyorDeath @ 01/02/2008 6:09:28 PM

    The majority of comments seem to be concerned foThe majority of comments seem to be concerned for the neighbors. The article clearly states "they have few neighbors" they have a "one acre lot near a state park" and are near a Boy Scout arear the neighbors. The article clearly states "they have few neighbors" they have a "one acre lot near a state park" and are near a Boy Scout campground. Clearly we are not talking about a suburb with little or no space between homes. I find it very hard to beleive that they have so many neighbors that they take over the streets. Referencing how your neighborhood would be inconvenienced is absurd. First off one acre is huge, a campground is huge, and a state park is huge, odds are their nearest neighbor is at least a few acres away. Which would mean their "blocks" are much larger than a standard sub-urb or urban block. Buts lets say that they did monopolize the streets. What was the compaint when they arragned off site parking? If the cars are parked in a parking lot in a different part of town than whats the problem? Exactly there isn't one other than the fact that their party has sex. They are not trying to recruit people, they are not trying to corrput the youth, that are not doing anything illegal so leave alone. I know people that live together and they arent married, should they be kicked out of town as well?

  • Posted By: 0mega @ 12/25/2007 1:08:18 AM

    just a follow-up - stop trying to make what you do into "normal", like its no big deal. As long as you try to rub our faces into your filthy lifestyle, it is a big deal. I know you think there are millions like you living under our noses, but you might be wrong about that. I fully condemn what you try to bring into the light. Keep your filthy secrets in your dark group rooms. We live in democracy, and that means that the majority rules. So if a town full of this "insane"(to you) one-partner families wants your disgusting ass out - get the hell out. As far as I'm concerned you can all make camp in the middle of nowhere and hump each other dry till you die. -BTW - for statistics: I am a 29 year old caucasian male, married w 3 kids. I still enjoy a healty relationship with my wife (for 7 years now).And no - I am not a religious fruit-cake or member of any retarded hate gropus (such as your ideology cousins: neo-nazis, kkk and all that other crap that fits in perfect with your "we are normal people" degenerate swingers) PS: you are not normal poeple. Your dirty ways are not accepted here, so get lost, maggots.

    • Posted By: LibertyorDeath @ 01/02/2008 5:40:42 PM

      Your ignorance is as insane as your ccomments. You are actually dumb enough to beleive that because the majority wants something they get it? You probably one of those typical "white males" that sees nothing wrong with your community denying black and minorities, because "the majoirty doesnt want them". Sit down and shut up. Your insane rambling has no place in a society of "normal" people. Since there is no standard of normal how can you tell everyone what is normal? They are not saying that the people are insane for wanting a monogamous relationship (that means one partner) they are insane for attempting to force their views onto others. If you would get your moronic-prejudiced-nonsense out of yours ears you might actually catch onto the issue. Oh since you love meaningless statistics i am a single 22yr white male. I am completely opposed to swinging, but I also am completely opposed to your nazi-fascist-MY-WAY-OR-DIE mentality. YOU SIR are whats wrong with this country. I feel nothing but regret for what your children had to endure under you ignorant parenting. You disgust me, your opinions are as worthless as you and your family.

    • Posted By: Idahocpl @ 12/25/2007 3:55:04 PM

      Mr. Omega, your posts have made us laugh. Thanks for that and Merry Christmas! Our statistics can be summed up the same way. We are in our late 40's. We've been VERY (see the emphasis on ???very????) happily married for 24 years with three kids whom we adore. Believe me when I say we still have a healthy, fun, great sexual relationship with each other. There is NO lack of intimacy. You say you're not a member of a hate group, but you have proven here you are. You wish ill upon others for things you don't understand. Name calling only proves further of your immaturity. I hope for your children???s sake, you aren???t teaching them your manners. Yes, many of us are well educated professionals in the lifestyle. We???ve actually been to college and have graduated in the top of our classes. This includes all the physicians, nurses, engineers and *GASP* psychologists who read those text books you talk about. We hurt nobody. There is however, CONSENSUAL sex among friends. There is no cheating going on, and nobody is hurting anyone. In fact, cheating is very looked down upon in our lifestyle. I???m not looking to change your closed mind, and it???s clear what you think of us lifestyler???s, and that???s ok. We???re not willing to change and neither are you. Happy New Year!

  • Posted By: Ultimates @ 12/28/2007 2:18:06 PM

    The so-called "moral" people in this comment section want to force others to live according to their beliefs or be killed. They call themselves "Christians." Christian means "Christ-like." Jesus never killed anyone, so if you kill someone, you are not being "Christ-like." Jesus never said or did a lot of things that many of you "moral" writers say, so you are not being "Christ-like." Make up your minds, for Moral=Christ-like. If you are not acting as Jesus, then you are not moral.

  • Posted By: traviso99 @ 12/16/2007 4:43:26 PM

    I'm not a swinger, nor do I care to be. My activities in my bedroom are limited to myself and my wife and always will be. But what happens between consenting adults is none of anyone else's business, whether it be man-man, woman-woman, woman-woman-man, or any combination thereof. Although $50 seems excessive for drinks, food and party favors, I don't see the problem.
    Christi41, I wish there was a way to eliminate all the bad seeds, too. I'd like to start with murderers, child molesters and rapists. Next on the list are those who force their beliefs and morality on others. Unless these folks are FORCING this lifestyle on someone else or involving children or animals, leave 'em alone. Presuming they're using appropriate safety considerations, I see no harm in this activity. 'Judge not lest ye be judged' is the scripture, and is appropriate in this case (for those of you who require a book to be your conscience). The state has no business in this activity and needs to go rub their nose elsewhere.

    "Government's only concern is the actions and conduct of man, and not his speculative notions. Who among us feels himself so exalted above his fellows as to have a right to dictate to them any mode of belief?"--Jacob Henry

    Who are YOU to feel so exalted as to have a right to dictate what is right? Hypocrites, climb down from your ivory tower before you fall out and hurt yourselves.

    • Posted By: ittakesbrains @ 12/28/2007 2:34:29 AM

      why is this all about the SEX? I read the same article and I see a private couple in a private community who has decided that it is OK to open up their home EVERY weekend to the public and according to their own information they have as many as 100 people show up. if they are all couples, this is 50 cars (more if any singles show up - or hubby and wife works at diff locations and meet their) even if they care pool you are talking 25 or more cares. my block would hold six cars on each side so we are talking 2-5 blocks worth of space needed (not counting all the other RESIDENTS of the community. Who does this group think they are being so profoundly rude to their neighbors, weekend after weekend...and who are you to suggest this is all about SEX. Get your head out of the gutter of SEX,SEX,SEX and look at the issues that a group of this size would have an a residential street. The parking, the drunks (if you get 100 people together and drinks a few will get drunk), the noise, etc.and this has little to do with SEX!!!

  • Posted By: Thomas Jefferson @ 12/21/2007 5:39:44 PM

    This whole article and subsequent comments is the scariest thing I have read in decades. No one, neighbors, local govt., state, feds have the right to dictate what we do in our homes....period, end of story. I am appalled at the sadistic , rights trampling comments here. Our fore fathers, our peers, our sons and daughters die by the millions to preserve freedom and you have the gall to make these post here? Sex is normal, it's natural, and it no one's business, no matter who it's with.

    • Posted By: ittakesbrains @ 12/28/2007 2:12:17 AM

      Hey TJ, are you for real? The local, state and fed gov certainly have the right to dictate what we do in our homes, if what we do may have a negative impact on others...I realize that you see this article as relating only to sex...but try this...can you add on an addition to your home without government intervention? or rewire your home? how about fix the sewer on your own property. Probably not!!! Most cities have ordinances, states have them, and so do the Feds. You cannot have Child porn, even in your own home, because it effects more than just you!!! This clud has gotten so big that it is a nuisance!!! Take it out in the country where the parking and noise affects NO ONE! I wouldn't want my neighbors to have 20, 30 or more cars trying to park in my neighborhood every weekend. Where would my kids and grandkids park when they come to visit? After all, their is room for 3 cars in from of my home and then two in the driveway. It is assumed, in small communities, that those parking spaces are for the individual homeowners guests, not some jerks three blocks down. Now I wouldn't mind, one in a while for a reunion or wedding etc. if those were taken, but every blasted weekend... You are correct, sex is natural and normal...but the actions of this group is RUDE!!! And if it took the council to ban all groups in residential areas (so as not to discriminate against this one group) then you should be screaming at theese people from ruining it for others who try to be curteous!!!

  • Posted By: 0mega @ 12/25/2007 12:38:10 AM

    all swingers can go straight to hell. no matter how you try to "swing" it you all are a bunch of degenerate mentally ill scumbags. i am a firm believer in civil rights and 5th ammendament, but I scum like you belong in the same class with child molesters (they voice the same song - the 5th, they have ridicoulos organizations like the Man Boy love association, etc). The moral values that our society treis to enforce are trying to promote a healthy and civilized lifestyle. Animals like you are not to be allowed to corrupt the already partially disfunctional perception of social values of todays teenagers. It makes me laugh when you say that what you do makes your couple relationship stronger. The atmosphere you breed can only generate inhibitions that later on translate into things like: serial killeres, insane murder rampage, etc.
    You say that educated people are swingers....that funny too. Anyone who ever read a pshycology book would know the implications of a complete loss of intimacy. While the gays are not allowed to have any civil union rights, crap like you want to ruin all there is still considered pure. Burn in hell, losers. You are a shame to the human race.

    • Posted By: ittakesbrains @ 12/28/2007 1:58:41 AM

      you clearly have little idea of that which you speak. These people aren't DIRTY...They are discurteous and a nuisance. The city decided that clubs like this did not belong in their town...whether it was for religious reasons or not, we don't really know, we weren't at the council meetings. What we do know is that neighbors had complained of the parking and noise for years!!! When we complain of a party making too much noise (or one time, partiers actually parked in MY driveway) the police would politely ask the revelers to quiet down (and to move their car.) But when the parties are every week, they start issuing citations, when that doesn't work, maybe they need to enact a law so that the punishments (for being jerks to their neighbors) keep getting stiffer (no pun intended.) Their is no way to know that the issue is really religious in motiveation.

  • Posted By: FUCK YOU @ 12/27/2007 3:11:50 AM

    fOR ALL YOU LYING FAGGOTS LIKE jIMMY sWAGGART, WHO *** OVER HIS WIFE WITH A PROSTITUTE, NOT TO MENTION THE CHURCH GOING BAPTIST *** THAT HE AND MANY OTHERS ARE...SWINGERS DON'T CHEAT..THEYU HAVE FUN WITH EACH OTHER AND OTHERS AND THOSE WHO CONDEMN THEM ARE USUALLY JUST CLOSET CHEATER, CHURCH GOER, FAGGOT, BASATRDS LIKE sWAGGART, rOBERTSON, AND THE MANY OTHER TELEVANGELIST thieves THAT WISH TO IMPOSE THEIR BULLSHIT UPON THE PUBLIC. *** them and anyone else WHO SEEKS TO IMPOSE THEIR "VIEWS" UPON OTHERS AND ESPECIALLY THE FAGOT JUDGES WHO ARE SECRET MEMBERS OF THE SAINTS AND SINNERS CLUBS AROUND AMERICA. THESE SCUMBAGS CONDEMN EVERYONE FOR EVERYTHING WHILE AT THE SAME TIME ENGAGE IN THE SAME ACTS "SECRETLY"!..*** YOU PARTICULARLY!...AND TO THOSE WHO ARE TO STUPID TO UNDERSTAND SEXUAL FREEDOM...ROT IN YOUR BIBLE ANAD WHEN YOU GET *** OUT OF YOUR LAST PRAYER BY IT NEVER BEING GRANTED, I TOLD YOU SO....

    • Posted By: Goldstariv @ 12/27/2007 3:09:30 PM

      Although a little brash and loud, you are very right in your angry shout... These so-called "religious" icons that try to raise society and keep it under a tightly knit and controlled condition are always seeking to hang someone for something. Anything.. Hell, in some religions it is "sin" to eat pork.. Are we serious? Man will do and say anything to bend perception in the name of his agenda... To fear the word of man.... I pity you..

      • Posted By: ittakesbrains @ 12/28/2007 1:45:04 AM

        godie, doldie, goldie...please tell me you aren't suggesting that finding pork to be unclean is anywhere as important as the garbage as the other poster? come on, I bet their are things you think are wrong that would make us laugh at you foolishness (oh that's right, if you believe it, it can't be foolish,) The poster is dead worng. He assumes everyone is a hypocrit, that everyone's objections are religious, and shows his ignorance by being unable to do more than bash everyone without any personal knowledge of the situation. Judges haven't yet been involved here. This action was taken by a city council, who determines what businesses or clubs are allowed in RESIDENTIAL areas. If this couples home was in the country, with plenty of off-street parking, and didn't ask for money for sex...I doubt anyone would give a flying flip...but since it is in a residential area...I would vote for curtailment. Frankly, the group has gotten too large and has become discurteous to the surrounding neighbors. My goodness, the article read that as many as 100 people showed up on the weekends...ny city has laws for parking, occupancy, and codes for the safety of everyone...why should an organized group be allowed to flaunt all the laws simply because the action is based on sex? Why does that mean that the city council are religious nuts who want to ban sex, maybe they cant get the group to be curteous and had to go this far...after all the article said their had been numerous complaints from neighbors about noise and parking in their NEIGHBORHOOD!!! We aren't talking about the business section of town or an isolated country place, but in a community. Learn a little before you decide it is all based on RELIGION!!!

  • Posted By: ittakesbrains @ 12/28/2007 1:26:45 AM

    I couldn't care less what people do in their own homes...however, I wouldn't want to have my neighbor accross the street having parties every weekend, tying up parking, or making alot of noise. We have a party once a year (no, not a swingers party.) I do have a neighbor a block over who used to have parties every weekend...we finaly just called and had the vehicles towed by the city as a continued nuisance. I meen, I don't take up their parking areas EVERY weekend...Sound like their club grew to be TOO big and they din't have the sense to curb the numbers or to be curteous to the4ir neighbors...What you do in your own home is private until its side issues like parking and noice spill over onto my privacy, then it needs to be curtailed.

  • Posted By: americannewsjunkie @ 12/27/2007 7:16:45 PM

    Wow! I'm blown away by how many folks actually read this article and then took the time to comment! Hubby and I have been married 25 years, lived in the same house for 25 years, and have owned the same business for 25 years. To say we are "regular, middle class folks, living the American dream, is summing us up pretty well. Stability and contributions to our community over this quarter century is a halmark we are proud of. I'd say that a high percentage of neighbors, business associtates, community leaders and lifestyle friends would all call us normal, nice, high morals, high standards kind of people. Be careful who you judge, a swinger may be in the cubicle beside you! :)

  • Posted By: Goldstariv @ 12/26/2007 4:54:43 PM

    despite what the religions of "common" america may say, and the so called "moral" laws we are told to follow.. I follow none , and I live for the day, not the man behind the message.. So while everyone is out trying to find way to label things as "wrong" and "right" as if their mortal opinions matter, I embrace the strong, and the opposition.. I accept the unacceptable, because I have a free mind.. One not clouded by the words of mortal men, nor a god created in "his" image.. Our lives are what we want them to be, and sex is not as "sinful" as these religious ones will like us all to believe.. It's as natural as the hatred that plagues this life.. Sex is an excersise that stimulates the one of our most sensitive muscle groups, the reproductive ones.. Its no where NEAR "taboo" for people to allow multiple people to give them massages.. It's all in making our "neighbor" feel as comfortable as possible.. So please, get over yourselves.. You and your religions have cause enough damage to this awkward society already.. (see Iraq)..

  • Posted By: gbsaddletramp @ 12/25/2007 9:06:40 PM

    I'm not into swinging. But to each his own. Mr. Omega there is a difference between swinging and pedophilia, a big difference. Swinging is adults committing consensual acts of sex, where as pedophilia is the forcing of a juvenile into a sex act by cohersion. Sometimes no matter how much you love someone, the sexual needs are not quite met by your partner, and this could injure a relationship. Swinging helps when these are not met. And as both of the parties in the relationship agree, and participate, it is a lot more honest and safer for all parties concerned then picking up a one night stand at the local club or picking up a prostitute.

  • Posted By: punkspop @ 12/24/2007 5:50:32 PM

    For couples with a healthy relationship-married or not-swinging is a healthy, fun lifestyle. It is not about illegal activity, drugs, rape, etc. The small-minded people who think swinging is a depravity equal to pedophilia are so off the mark it is unbelievable. However, they would also be very incapable of the trust, committment and love it takes to be a part of this wonderful, sharing, lifestyle.

  • Posted By: Ruth in California @ 12/19/2007 5:18:50 PM

    I know many wonderful people who are swingers. They are strong, loving couples and good parents. They just have a different view than most people of what sex means to them as a couple.

    susanlee's comment that this is a "sexual perversion" and that it "doesn't stop at swinging" is analogous to the idea that anyone who has had marijuana goes on to harder drugs. Or if a couple have oral sex (if you think that is a "perversion") then they will continue on to bestiality. A ridiculous concept with fallacious reasoning.

    • Posted By: susanlee @ 12/19/2007 9:59:29 PM

      Your response doesn't surprise me. God weighed in on this issue long ago. We live in a culture that has rejected God, and the truth of His word

      • Posted By: clydeedjohnson @ 12/24/2007 3:24:20 PM

        When was the last time you had an orgasm,probably never!!!

  • Posted By: clydeedjohnson @ 12/24/2007 3:15:03 PM

    I'm not a swinger although I have often wondered what the lifestyle was like and from what I have read I don't have any problem with it! I might want to check it out,Know where one is in Odessa,Tx?

  • Posted By: tampacpl @ 12/21/2007 11:28:53 PM

    As long time swingers my husband and I never cease to be amazed at the comments made by those not familiar with the lifestyle. Like any group of people you have all types, but some things that has always stood out for us is that swingers almost always are in long term, stable relationships, are content with their lives, ( not just the sex either) and seem to have a strong libertarian streak. I remember recently having dinner with a large group of our lifestyle friends and as we discussed careers, families, etc ,it truly stood out at what a unique type of person was involved. As one friend said, people in the lifestyle tend to be successful in business or the arts because we tend to "think outside the box". So it is no surprise to hear comments from repressed, unhappy people, who are convinced that all swingers are degenerate, STD ridden deviants. Especially as they have never knowingly met a real swinger! The area we live in has a multitude of swinger clubs, open to the public, well advertized on the net and since we are a winter vacation spot, you would be surprized at who shows up during the season. We may have met, and played with your minister, (oh yes, lots of 'em come to Florida in the winter), your childrens teacher or your local politicians. As many have posted, your children are probably far safer next to a swinger club than a catholic church or a Boy Scout camp. That's where the real pedophiles hang out. So, if you don't want to be a swinger, don't be one, but for the rest of you...c'mon in the waters great.

    • Posted By: Idahocpl @ 12/22/2007 5:14:16 PM

      Agreed. Us in the lifestyle are some of the most selfless spouses you will ever meet. It's a gift we give to our spouses to explore their sexuality. To those who can't wrap their heads around what we do -- it's ok, really. You don't have to understand. If swinging was considered a crime, at least it's a victimless one. We don't spread STD's nor do we prey upon children. Please, educate yourselves before you judge.

  • Posted By: susanlee @ 12/18/2007 8:01:55 PM

    Your habits are the sum of your character. If they are into this type of sexual perversion, they don't stop at swinging.

    • Posted By: LibertyorDeath @ 12/21/2007 7:58:06 PM

      I did not realize that you personally knew these people. To make a comment that they do not stop at swinging means you have to had met the person; talked to them, laughed with them, cried with them. I mean how else could you determine what their character is or what their limits are, i suppose you could be speaking out of ignorance though. I believe there is Book that states something like "Only God can judge" and "Judge not, lest ye be judged." Or do only obey the parts of the Bible you agree with? And if God weighed in on this issue then why did all the kings of Israel, his Chosen Nation, have concubines? I remeber reading that Solomon had so many women if he had only sex with one a day it would take two years to finish his list. Whats up with that? At this point it would seem that a Catholic church as a neighbor is more frightenening than any swingers party.

  • Posted By: ktschmatie @ 12/20/2007 9:34:01 PM

    Spanky, ironically the constitution doesn't give people the freedom to do whatever they choose to do. Many "rights" that people "see" in the constitution just aren't there.

    • Posted By: LibertyorDeath @ 12/21/2007 7:48:07 PM

      Many of the "rights" that we "see" aren't "there because it would be impossible to determine everything that people would want the right to do. I also believe the Ninth amendment specifaclly protects additional rights that are not explicitly mentioned and the Tenth amendment states that powers not reserved for the federal or states governments nor denied to them are reserved for the states and the people. Since I see no place where the constitution says "No group sex" than these rights are "there" and can be "seen" if you read and more importantly understand the constitution.

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