American Beat: Tune In, Drop Out, Make Sauce

Of course, not everyone wants to play along. Rob Polishook, who was a sales manager for Coach Leather before he opened Chile Today-Hot Tamale, looks down on what he called the "fart and ass" sauces.

"With all due respect to 'Sir Fartalot,'" said Polishook, whose company logo shirt, it must be said, was quite staid, "I'm selling a gourmet product here, not 'Kick Your A-' sauce." This from the man whose company used to market a bag of spiced pretzels called "Russian Roulette" because each bag contained a single "XXX Hot Fire" nugget.

While all the "upstarts" fight for their market share, the folks at Tabasco just love watching the fireworks. Naturally, the 133-year-old company was represented at this year's food show and, befitting a three-digit-old company, expressed revulsion at the turn hot sauce has taken over the years.

"It's not about who has the hottest sauce, but which sauce has the best flavor," said spokesman George Segura. "We age ours for three years. We don't rush it." (In other words, they will sell no whine before its time.)

Segura has obviously forgotten his company's roots. After all, Edmund McIlhenny, the founder of Tabasco, was a banker before he gave it all up to grow peppers on his Louisiana plantation-the original hot sauce dropout.

Gersh Kuntzman is also a columnist for The New York Post and the author of "HAIR! Mankind's Historic Quest to End Baldness" (Random House). Visit him at http://www.gersh.tv

© 2001