MODERN FAMILY
Kathleen Deveny
Thanks, Jamie Lynn
Talking to your kid about the tween star's latest turn.
When I saw the New York Post on my breakfast table this morning, I practically threw my body on top of it. There, across from my sleepy 7-year-old daughter, was a smiling picture of her favorite TV actress, Jamie Lynn Spears, star of "Zoey 101." On the show, Jamie Lynn is a spunky student at the beautiful Pacific Coast Academy, a boarding school where drugs don't exist and kids do their homework without ever being asked. In real life, Jamie Lynn is 16 years old and three months pregnant.
How am I supposed to explain that to my daughter? You'd think I would have figured out how to talk to my kid about bad celebrity behavior when Jamie Lynn's big sister Britney was partying sans underwear and shaving her head in public. Or when nude photos of "High School Musical" star Vanessa Hudgens popped up online. But this morning I choked. She's not going to find out about this from me, I thought.
Not that she won't find out about Jamie Lynn's big news on her own. I know that in our media-soaked culture even little kids are aware of celebrity antics. One 7-year-old girl in New Jersey heard it on the radio, according to her father. "That's Britney Spears's sister," she said with authority. "She's the one that cut her hair off." Another of my daughter's peers in L.A. picked up the news during a "Today" show segment on how to talk to your kids about Spears's pregnancy, her mom says. The girl's matter-of-fact response: "Well now they're going to have to cancel the show or she'll have to be on the show fat."
Nickelodeon hasn't said what's to become of the show, though I'll no longer think of it in quite the same way. Nick issued a statement saying it respected "Jamie Lynn's decision to take responsibility in this sensitive and personal situation." The show is scheduled to conclude its third season on Jan. 4 and the fourth season has already been completed, according to an Associated Press report. Spears's own mom seemed to take the news pretty well. "She was very upset because it wasn't what she expected at all," Jamie Lynn told OK! Magazine. "A week after, she had time to cope with it and became very supportive." (She has, however, reportedly postponed plans to publish a parenting guide.)
Personally, I'm a little freaked out. I know that parenting experts say this kind of event can be a teaching moment, a perfect chance to find out how your kid thinks about the world and to teach them about your own values. "This is your opportunity, because it's in their faces, so don't let it go," advises Dr. Alan Hilfer, director of psychology at Maimonides Medical Center in New York City. With older kids, it's an opportunity to talk about safe sex or the consequences of reckless behavior. With a younger child, it's best to simply ask them what they think about the situation. "You don't need to give a 7-year-old the full conversation about the birds and bees," he adds.
Thank God. It's not that I believe my daughter will grow up thinking, "Jamie Lynn Spears got pregnant at 16, so I will, too." I have faith that children learn values at home, and that my years of brainwashing will have far more effect on her than one knocked-up TV starlet. Nor is it that I'm squeamish about sex. I know that teenagers have sex and I know that my own child will be probably have sex years before I'll think she's ready.
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