Emotional Castaways

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  • Posted By: crudecanine @ 12/22/2007 12:10:51 AM

    Well I guess it is all in how you look at your life. When I was married I enjoyed the family. Now that I am single I enjoy the serinity. Yes I have my dogs as a companion, and every now and then I like to talk to a family member, but i am not lonely cause I got me. Everyday I get up I look in the mirror and think my god I am lucky just to have myself lol. All I am saying is you make your own reality . I have been in a crowd before and felt so alone. You are not alone if you got something or someone to believe in, and by that it could be yourself. Is it better to be alone and be happy, or be with someone who is just using you. Now I am not saying that is wrong or right, all I am saying is you got be happy with yourself.

  • Posted By: phiomalibumalibu @ 12/21/2007 11:42:45 PM

    One way I fight anxiety is what I do for a living. I read other peoples emails. I know it sounds strange, but most of my clients get over 500 emails a day. There is never a dull moment, some of them are very funny and some are strictly business. I interact with my clients daily, and we always have a laugh about some of the absurd emails that come in. Funny how reading emails can usually make my day, plus I get to work in my pj's if I want. I would recommend going to -- www.read-email.com if you want to start a fascinating new career. Good Luck!

  • Posted By: imanurseangel @ 12/21/2007 11:30:03 PM

    I can't believe anyone thinks animals can not think or love and show it. I am happy with my family and a small amount of friends as well as three dogs and two cats. I believe in well balanced lives, so much for humans so much for animals just like a balance between work and play. I am single and not lonely! However I do have children and maybe that helps. I feel an animal can definitely be a great love in your life, I had animals when I was married as well.

  • Posted By: lbdmt11 @ 12/21/2007 11:27:07 PM

    Personally, I enjoy my own company...nobody to answer to, no one to cook for, clean up for, etc., etc. Yes, there are times when I want to talk to someone, and I have a small circle of friends that I can do that with. But generally, I like just being by myself...No drama

  • Posted By: dankefurdieblumen @ 12/21/2007 10:56:58 PM

    The question should be why are you all so afraid of being alone? I dont have many friends because there arent many people I want to be friends with. My whole life i have felt this way despite the drugs my parents put me on the shrinks they sent me to because I wasnt like my siblings. I like being alone and if seeing me eating alone or going to movie alone makes you uncomfortable then perhaps you need to get comfortable with yourself instead of distracting yourself with text messages and phone calls and dinner dates.

  • Posted By: Johnmd007 @ 12/21/2007 8:47:24 PM

    TO alone63, I think people know you well enough to know your always either quiet, depressed, not socialble, so its more of an annoying issue to them. They are not aware of your true feelings because you present yourself to them all the time the same way... I think you have to somehow try to be sociable and not bring up your loneliness or your depression to your friends. Go seek treatment, talk to that person, that is what they are there for...and it will help with your relationship with your friends. They aren't pushing you away its just they don't know how to deal with you. You need to deal with your own self first. Try it.. you will see.. smile around your friends, appear more happy even when your not..and then maybe you will forget what it is your sad or depressed about. Maybe you think to much. my suggestion again.. talk to someone...it will be like a friend with a shoulder to lean on. GOOD LUCK!

    • Posted By: AngelDog @ 12/21/2007 10:55:49 PM

      I am not sure you really understand the feeling. It is people who have not have a medically "depressed" situation, who can easily say, "Just smile, seek treatment, get over it." Do you not think the people effected by this condition are not doing that?! Also, the only treatment that seems to be handed out are medication prescriptions that only makes you feel crazy. I am annoyed with the whole idea that you are a bad person if you are not "happy" all of the time. I agree with bikermo, I have a greater affinity toward our four-legged friends than, half-faced judgemental humans.

  • Posted By: jazzhands @ 12/21/2007 10:50:48 PM

    This article is amazing. And very honest. My mother lives a life void of close friends and family. She is the proud parent of over 20 guinea pigs, and a small collection of dogs and cats. They each have people names and are spoken to as small children. My mom even pretends some of the guinea pigs get jealous when she affords attention to the other animals. I love my mother and I know she has a hard time making friends. People get on her nerves and betray her in ways her animals never will. She spoils them in exchange for their love. It's fascinating to watch. She even introduces STRANGERS to each pet. [Hilarious.]

  • Posted By: timon @ 12/21/2007 10:38:33 PM

    Society is vicious and shallow.It's motto is"be happy and successful or die." This is why so many people are lonely and why so many people are rejected by phonies when they suffer a reversal of fortune.

  • Posted By: bikermo @ 12/21/2007 10:33:11 PM

    i'm 32 years old and single. i don't have a problem with that, i have a problem with pretending to be someone else for the first few months of a relationship. i am who i am right from the get-go cuz there's a lot less to lose if you don't like something about me now vs. 3 or more months down the line. i have 2 cats, one is 8 and one is 5. love 'em to pieces. talk to 'em all the time. they do respond. one comes when i call his name, not just at the sound of my voice, but to his name. they're much more fun to be around than a lot of the people i know. on halloween i took in another stray, or should i say he took me in. he bit my other cat and he got an abscess and had to have dead tissue surgically removed. they're still separated and it's a lot of work, but i'd rather do that work than on human relationships because no human relationship so far has been anywhere near as rewarding as these. i imagine it's much like having children; you spend a hectic day taking care of them, changing diapers, feeding, washing, repeat, then you see them fast asleep in the carseat looking like a little angel and it brings tears to your eyes... so many pet owners have this same experience.

    i've suffered from depression for almost 20 years and EVERY DAY is a struggle. i've lost jobs because of it. holidays are hard just because society (and family and friends, under the guise of being concerned for you) make you seem like a loser if you don't have someone for the holidays. it gets to me at times, but i am very close to my immediate family and have one very close friend who is (usually!) there for me, so it's not that bad. it is difficult to be single and hear all the diamond ring ads from halloween through valentine's day, though. i really get sick of that. my self worth is not defined by my relationship with a man! besides, i've already got three men in my life that i adore, and the feeling is definitely mutual. =)

  • Posted By: divalish @ 12/21/2007 9:58:02 PM

    Reading 'The Secret' is a good way to start using your emotions in a more positve way.
    Good luck...and good thoughts!

  • Posted By: divalish @ 12/21/2007 9:55:45 PM

    Reading "The Secret" is a good start.

  • Posted By: caminante @ 12/21/2007 8:50:42 PM

    "for most of us the greater risk may be treating real flesh-and-blood humans as playthings." i think this is closer to the truth. i have never been treated so shabbily in my life as when i moved to CA, after losing everything in a fire. The reply to "Do you rent or do you own?" influences people to ignore or denigrate me; in this stupendously shallow culture here, although i am bright, educated and kind, i am not what's in, i am not rich, don't drive a flashy car--so i am nothing, apparently. the bias is pathetically obvious. give me an animal any day!

    and i deliberately used lowercase letters in this missive before someone feels compelled to point it out.

  • Posted By: alone63 @ 12/21/2007 8:33:52 PM

    i am alone, and have been made to feel alone by others because i don't see things the same way or do things the same way i am pushed aside, if i say i am unhappy or feeling a little depressed no one wants to talk to you. and treat you like you have a contageous plauge, i found that reaching out for help or someone to conect with they turn away if someone else makes the comment "that guy must have a problem" then you are left standing alone again. i have make the comment many times i feel alone in a crowded room, and i do because i don't feel i fit in or on the same level as the other or affraid the get phsicaly or emotionaly hurt so a stay clear. what else can i say. robert e k jr

    • Posted By: lynn1881 @ 12/21/2007 8:43:00 PM

      To Robert E. K. Jr. Just know that there are people out here who do care. I feel so bad to read how you are treated and I hope you are able to find a way to turn it around. One thing I know and I hope this may help you, is that a person's state of mind will eventually become reality. We create our physical realities first in our own minds, and the power of our thoughts is tremendous. Try thinking differently, even just a little bit more positively, and hopefully you will see these positive thoughts manifest themselves physically. I will send you my positive thoughts right now to get you started. Best of luck to you! :-)

  • Posted By: Frankieluv @ 12/21/2007 8:42:42 PM

    Everyone feels lonely at times, it's called life. Even people with plenty of friends and family feel lonely. It's unnatural for a person to feel 100% happy 100% of the time. I hate these types of articles and studies that harp on what people are lacking in their lives and make people feel bad. The study is stupid and the conclusions are ridiculous. BTW, animals are living creatures who are not too different from ourselves, it's not shocking so many people feel close to their pets. It has nothing to do with people humanizing them because they lack human interaction. It's because a pet is fun and it's good companionship.

  • Posted By: Mourning Dove @ 12/21/2007 8:39:01 PM

    I am alone, but I am not lonely. I think this article was derisive, it wasn't very informative, and didn't help anyone learn anything to help them over come loneliness. Even though we are all one human race, we are all different, and as always there are varying degrees to everything. Loneliness like any other condition is not necessisarily permanent.

  • Posted By: tbakunas @ 12/21/2007 8:01:32 PM

    Trickery and manipulation in testing can lead to the same result, I find these findings absurd. Lonely people, who exactly are lonely people? Do you not think that human beings in general go through periods of loneliness? Do you believe that every minute of every day has to be spent in loving social circles, or filled with mindless mingling to be normal? Do you actually believe that spirituality, good or evil, is some product of chronic loneliness?
    Do you think that possibly those people who fill their world with full social lives might in actuality have a fear of being alone, and in that, are lonely as well?
    Maybe it is you job to push people???s buttons, or maybe this is the most remarkable discovery since Pluto lost its designation as a planet. But I must say I find the story a bit tasteless. Help all of us who have a dog, and God, we must be the loneliest people on the face of this earth.
    I hope you have a happy holiday.

    • Posted By: carniemechanic @ 12/21/2007 8:32:40 PM

      tbakunas thinks that someone has manipulated studies to attack him. Nowhere did I see a claim that having a pet is unhealthy; rather that anthropomorphic perception of the pet or inanimate object is unhealthy. Don't take everything you see as being about you. If the shoe fits, however...
      I lead a life of extreme isolation and always have. For some of us, it's mucheasier than dealing with the pain of rejection and and disappointment of being an outsider or one of the socially invisible. As for a pet; my cat's just a cat, but he is a companion.

  • Posted By: Frankieluv @ 12/21/2007 8:24:29 PM

    What a ridiculous article and study. People feel lonely even if they have plenty of friends and family members too. It's natural for EVERYONE to feel lonely sometimes. I hate the fact people are always harping on what's lacking in all our lives . Humans think a lot and are constantly looking for acceptance from others. At times we all feel misunderstood and alone, it's called life.Also animals are living creatures and not so different from us, it's not shocking people feel close to them. Humanizing a volleyball is not even in the same universe as a person being close to a pet. Frankly it's stupid to compare the two. Human friendship and animal friendship are equally fulfilling in ther own ways. It would be more useful if someone did a study on why people feel the need to do silly studies.

  • Posted By: lynn1881 @ 12/21/2007 8:20:45 PM

    It makes me feel sad to know that so many of us feel lonely and isolated. All of these comments confirm one thing -- we all need the same thing from eachother, which is unconditional love. So why is the one thing we all need so difficult to give? I have a family but one day they all decided to get together and write me a nasty letter to give me a piece of their mind and kick me out of the family because I am not living my life in a way that they approve of. Because they can't control me, they wrote me off instead. So here I am disconnected because they can not accept me and love me just as I am, and I think the relationship is damaged beyond repair. Maybe this makes me socially isolated by choice, but I would rather be alone than be a part of a phony family (or any group for that matter) that can't accept me.

  • Posted By: chimmp @ 12/21/2007 8:11:16 PM

    i avoid people all the time and consider myself lonely, one of the reasons for this is for the fact that social people do treat people with disregard

  • Posted By: dpashou @ 12/21/2007 8:09:37 PM

    what is the difference between a lonely and a loner? I tend to agree with the below comments. Anti-social is a descriptibe pigeon-holling terminology that society has invented because as some of your commentators indicated that the main stream society fail or not wanting to understand. Why we humans have this absession to put put people into categories, rather than been open minded and treat people for what they are?. some people may learn one or two things from what they call " antisocials". A lonely person is one that their friends/family fail or will not bother to take the time/effort to understand them and they demand social conformity not individuality. The so called " anti-socials" have more creativity and intellectual imagination than those they compelled to follow the norm pack.

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