Altered Lives

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  • Posted By: ptdiver @ 12/22/2007 10:38:15 AM

    It is really time that we addressed this issue. I don't care if you are gay or not, If you've been in a relationship with another person for several years, as this couple was, you should have rights. I'm heterosexual and have been married for 20 years but I know several gay/lesbian couples who are just as committed both personally and financially. To deny them rights, whether you call it marriage or not, is rediculous.

  • Posted By: jonjon1223 @ 12/22/2007 10:28:35 AM

    I believe if Christ were alive today, he would be at the forefront of showing love and acceptance towards gay people. Isn't that how he was projected in the Bible? Anyone who's even remotely religious would know that! As far as the Bible is concerned, you Bible thumpers can cram it up your ass! The Bible is nothing more than a cultural narrative from a society that existed long ago. Society has evolved and changed into what it is today and the stories in the Bible are outdated. If you want to follow the Bible then women are subserviant humans who serve no other purpose than to give birth, divorce is a sin, lying is a sin, war is unacceptable, etc.....everyone, everywhere would be horrible sinners. Give me a break! God is about love, acceptance, peace, understanding, and all that is good. Take one letter "o" out of the word good and you have God. He is with us all the time showing us the good things and helping up through the bad. So stop using the Bible to mask your hate and stupidity, people!

    As far as this couple is concerned, I think the whole thing is a tragedy and they have my support. Love knows no bounds and it's obvious that they truly, deeply loved each other and they were happy. Regardless of whether or not someone is legally a spouse, under the circumstances, NOBODY should ever have been treated as they have during a time like this.

    • Posted By: dewcooper @ 12/22/2007 10:37:30 AM

      Christ was the first to call sin a sin. Before He offord any blessing, he first told them to go and sin no more. Yes, He seperated the sin from the sinner, but only after the sinner gave up their sin. Christ walked amongst the sinners because they knew that they needed Him in order to overcome their sin. Christ walked so that sinners may change, not to continue sinning.

  • Posted By: dewcooper @ 12/21/2007 1:41:02 PM

    During their ten years together, all they had to do was draft a medical power of attorney and a will stating their wishes and naming the other as executor. Her story, though sad and heartfelt, was much ado about nothing.

    • Posted By: xdevildawg4u @ 12/21/2007 2:29:20 PM

      The COMpassion of the Christ is evident in your comment dewcooper.

      Not only is your comment heartless, it is inaccurate. I know of a number of gay and lesbian couples who spent great deals of time and money putting together the piecemeal legal protections that people like you claim are the simple answer to their second class treatment only to discover that they weren't worth the paper they were printed on when push came to shove and an unsupportive family member challenged it.

      Besides, why should a tax paying, law abiding, civic minded American citizen have to jump through these very expensive and confusing and sometimes worthless hoops just because their life partner is of the same sex?

      If you want to deny gay people the RITES of Marriage in your church, then by all means do but you should not be allowed to deny good citizens the RIGHTS of marriage to the single, adult, human, alive, mentally capable partner of their choice.

      • Posted By: dewcooper @ 12/22/2007 10:33:57 AM

        Marriage is not a RIGHT. It is a privilege given to those who meet the requirements set forth by society.

    • Posted By: bts37066 @ 12/22/2007 8:10:06 AM

      A medical power of attorney and will is a good idea but as you state "much ado about nothing" I am a gay man that was in a commited relationship for 19yrs. My partner was brutally murdered, we had the medical power of attorney and will, but when you are told by the police you can't even contact his family to let them know because you have no right and threatened with arrest if you do those to items are "much ado about nothing" Would you prefer a police chaplain calling you to let you know your son is dead or his partner you have known for 19 yrs?

    • Posted By: xdevildawg4u @ 12/21/2007 2:30:39 PM

      The COMpassion of the Christ is evident in your comment dewcooper.

      Not only is your comment heartless, it is inaccurate. I know of a number of gay and lesbian couples who spent great deals of time and money putting together the piecemeal legal protections that people like you claim are the simple answer to their second class treatment only to discover that they weren't worth the paper they were printed on when push came to shove and an unsupportive family member challenged it.

      Besides, why should a tax paying, law abiding, civic minded American citizen have to jump through these very expensive and confusing and sometimes worthless hoops just because their life partner is of the same sex?

      If you want to deny gay people the RITES of Marriage in your church, then by all means do but you should not be allowed to deny good citizens the RIGHTS of marriage to the single, adult, human, alive, mentally capable partner of their choice.

  • Posted By: Duluth2008 @ 12/21/2007 5:51:59 PM

    As a gay man who has been single for 10 years now, I feel two things about this whole gay marriage thing: one, I think it is long overdue for those who have been in long-term committed relationships to enjoy the same legal rights and protections that heterosexual marriage offers. I know many of these gay couples personally and while I know their relationships are on solid ground, I do worry about their future when one spouse becomes ill.

    Another part of me is angry. The reality is, for most gay men, about 15% of our community is involved in relationships that are lasting more than two years. The rest of us are trying to figure out how to even meet someone else, constantly moving to new cities to try to find 'that special person' when nothing is happening. These are symptoms of a larger problem in the gay community - and nobody has shed much light on this. The majority of us have never been taught the skills that pertain to adult relationships that heterosexual people have been taught since they've been old enough to go on dates. Gay men, for example, had no lessons on how to date men, and more importantly, how to BE that man as an adult who dates other men. We have an entire community of gay men who don't have any idea on how to ask for a second date, or are so disillusioned by airbrushed photos of models on gay websites that do not accurately portray most gay people in America. When these men shut off the computer and go out into the 'gay world', they are often deeply disappointed because these dream men are nowhere to be found. And, yes, many of them are gullible enough to believe that gay men are going to look like the models they've seen. The problem is that the other half of this - being able to stick around and get to know someone for more than a week...not giving up the second the relationship goes south...not always looking for someone better all the time...these are things that grown ups learn to do in relationships because they respect their partner and themselves, and respect their relationships as a unit. Again, most gay men have never been taught these things, and are seeking something that will magically erase all self-doubt, low self-esteem and anxiety. Trouble is, once the guy is no longer 'new', they need to search for another one.

    Gay men need to learn how to find relationships first. We have not proven that we can do this. If we do not start by fixing what's wrong within the gay community, the contempt among gay men, we will see a divorce rate in the gay community that will be beyond 90%. That is not an acceptable solution in my book. We need better, and we need to do it ourselves in the gay community first.

    • Posted By: jonjon1223 @ 12/22/2007 10:33:25 AM

      I agree with you. As a gay male I find that a lot of gay males out there who just don't have a clue because they don't know the proper way to treat one another. It took me almost 14 yrs to find someone who I would even consider moving in with and having a relationship with. My advice to you is realize that you are worth it, no matter how long it takes. Just don't get yourself down or be bitter about it. Toss away the negative and open your heart to finding that other person. You'll attract him to you. It'll happen when u least expect it.

  • Posted By: redsox @ 12/22/2007 10:24:25 AM

    Actually, Jesus re-affirmed what marriage was in Matthew 19, which quotes Genesis. For most people, the male and female part is easy to understand.

  • Posted By: complainjane @ 12/22/2007 10:16:40 AM

    I can't believe in this day and age we are still tolerating the notion that including gay couples in the list of kinds of couples that have been granted marriage rights (interracial marriage once prompted the same shrill hysteria from those who choose to think marriage is a special right reserved for straight white couples) is "dismantling" marriage. The stories in the Bible are interesting but they are just that- stories handed down from generation to generation like fairy tales. Stop forcing your religion on others through legislation... better yet if you do insist on doing that, put your money where your mouth is and outlaw every other thing the Bible says is wrong too. Maybe then the small-minded who cling to this notion wouldn't appear to be so blatantly hypocritical.

  • Posted By: sarafina30 @ 12/22/2007 10:15:44 AM

    Homosexual or heterosexual aside; these laws exist for a reason. As a clinician who deals with many cases of critical injury, brain death and families coping in the face of tragedy, I would like to point out that in these cases someone has to be the ultimate decision maker for the loved one. In most states this is going to be deferred to immediate family only as in next of kin. Unless people make alternate provisions that is what happens. Many times you will have several people with conflicting emotions at a time like this. Maybe all the family members and loved ones dont agree with how to proceed with care especially in a hopeless case. Someone has to be given authority. While I think its sad that the woman was treated this way it just reminds me that everyone should think about having a living will and naming a health care surrogate. Its not hard to do and you dont even need a lawyer most of the time.

  • Posted By: tiredoftheinsanity @ 12/22/2007 9:17:14 AM

    evaneerzerscooge---- Why would I want to commit my life to your Bible? There are so many examples of people who do that are intolerant, hateful or just plain blind to reality. Imagine being oppressed, minimized and scared into living your life in denial or lies. Especially hard to accept when you perceive it as nothing more than a gory fairy tale that's been used to raise funds, set believers apart as a chosen and keep the masses in line. Most recently it's been used to advance a political agenda, enrich the weapons makers and industry and to suspend the Constitution.
    You pick and choose your verse based on convenience and circumstance.
    Imagine a parallel. You are forced to live your life with ridicule by blind fanatics based on a series of old comic books. You don't have the right to marry because Batman says so. You can't adopt foster children because Wonder Woman says that's not permissible to Texans. And if your child is beaten to death and hung out to die like Matthew Shepherd a group of people will disrupt the funeral and chant that it is Superman's will that all blasphemers suffer the same tragic end. The Bible may be your guiding light, but to those (who have read it) and suffer based on your interpretation it's a weapon and it's dangerous,. If you believe you are any better than any one who doesn't believe then the charade is working. Now cough up your money, sing your Christmas carols and continue your delusion. Ignore the poor. Execute the felons. Preach inequality. Enrich your deceivers. Hate and disparage those that disagree. Set yourself on pedestal high above those who aren't as enlightened. I've read your book and seen your actions and frankly believe your way of thinking is part of the problem not a solution. Merry Christmas. I hope your children grow up and tell you they are gay then disown you when they overcome your intolerance.

  • Posted By: evaneezerscooge @ 12/22/2007 12:53:56 AM

    Lord only knows? Lord only knows that homosexuality is an abomination in the sight of God. Look it up, there's is a book he helped write, known as the Bible, I think you should read it some time.

    • Posted By: tiredoftheinsanity @ 12/22/2007 9:13:37 AM

      evaneerzerscooge---- Why would I want to commit my life to your Bible? There are so many examples of people who do that are intolerant, hateful or just plain blind to reality. Imagine being oppressed, minimized and scared into living your life in denial or lies. Especially hard to accept when you perceive it as nothing more than a gory fairy tale that's been used to raise funds, set believers apart as a chosen and keep the masses in line. Most recently it's been used to advance a political agenda, enrich the weapons makers and industry and to suspend the Constitution.
      You pick and choose your verse based on convenience and circumstance.
      Imagine a parallel. You are forced to live your life with ridicule by blind fanatics based on a series of old comic books. You don't have the right to marry because Batman says so. You can't adopt foster children because Wonder Woman says that's not permissible to Texans. And if your child is beaten to death and hung out to die like Matthew Shepherd a group of people will disrupt the funeral and chant that it is Superman's will that all blasphemers suffer the same tragic end. The Bible may be your guiding light, but to those (who have read it) and suffer based on your interpretation it's a weapon and it's dangerous,. If you believe you are any better than any one who doesn't believe then the charade is working. Now cough up your money, sing your Christmas carols and continue your delusion. Ignore the poor. Execute the felons. Preach inequality. Enrich your deceivers. Hate and disparage those that disagree. Set yourself on pedestal high above those who aren't as enlightened. I've read your book and seen your actions and frankly believe your way of thinking is part of the problem not a solution. Merry Christmas. I hope your children grow up and tell you they are gay then disown you when they overcome your intolerance.

  • Posted By: Dontfall4it @ 12/22/2007 8:50:52 AM

    I truly sympathize with Ms. Strong for her lost and as a human being I am angered to hear of the ordeal she had to go through. It should not matter if you are related by blood,n or marraige in an emergency situation but that you are the one who is closest and can provide pertinent, valuable information to save that persons life and that it is obvious there is a relationship or bonding between the two parties. With that being said, I don't think that the fact that this couple living in Washington state did not take the proper legal percautions in the event of an emergency to have a Power of Attorney on file to act on behalf of the other persons interest knowing that same sex marriage was not legalized reconized in that State. They were in fact, for all practicle purposes ,breaking the law! This couples lack of planning for an emergency basically says not only were they knowing breaking the law but felt they could defy it by not taking sensible, practicle, legal measures 'just in case'. It is a shame that America is becoming the home of the -I'll yeild to what ever issue gets the most attention- instead of standing on the morals of our founding fathers! Are we soon to become the New French Nation- standing for nothing!!!! WAKE UP people the revolution is coming and it WILL be televised!

  • Posted By: Dontfall4it @ 12/22/2007 8:48:23 AM

    I truly sympathize with Ms Strong for her lost and I truly sympathize with Ms. Strong for her lost and as a human being I am angered to hear of the ordeal she had to go through. It should not matter if you are related by blood,n or marraige in an emergency situation but that you are the one who is closest and can provide pertinent, valuable information to save that persons life and that it is obvious there is a relationship or bonding between the two parties. With that being said, I don't think that the fact that this couple living in Washington state did not take the proper legal percautions in the event of an emergency to have a Power of Attorney on file to act on behalf of the other persons interest knowing that same sex marriage was not legalized reconized in that State. They were in fact, for all practicle purposes ,breaking the law! This couples lack of planning for an emergency basically says not only were they knowing breaking the law but felt they could defy it by not taking sensible, practicle, legal measures 'just in case'. It is a shame that America is becoming the home of the -I'll yeild to what ever issue gets the most attention- instead of standing on the morals of our founding fathers! Are we soon to become the New French Nation- standing for nothing!!!! WAKE UP people the revolution is coming and it WILL be televised!

  • Posted By: Dontfall4it @ 12/22/2007 8:45:24 AM

    I truly sympathize with Ms. Strong for her lost and as a human being I am angered to hear of the ordeal she had to go through. It should not matter if you are related by blood,n or marraige in an emergency situation but that you are the one who is closest and can provide pertinent, valuable information to save that persons life and that it is obvious there is a relationship or bonding between the two parties. With that being said, I don't think that the fact that this couple living in Washington state did not take the proper legal percautions in the event of an emergency to have a Power of Attorney on file to act on behalf of the other persons interest knowing that same sex marriage was not legalized reconized in that State. They were in fact, for all practicle purposes ,breaking the law! This couples lack of planning for an emergency basically says not only were they knowing breaking the law but felt they could defy it by not taking sensible, practicle, legal measures 'just in case'. It is a shame that America is becoming the home of the -I'll yeild to what ever issue gets the most attention- instead of standing on the morals of our founding fathers! Are we soon to become the New French Nation- standing for nothing!!!! WAKE UP people the revolution is coming and it WILL be televised!

  • Posted By: lexiwords @ 12/22/2007 8:24:25 AM

    I'd like to apopogize for those horrible typos. Needless to say I'm not a secretary!

  • Posted By: Hi2YoufromMe2U @ 12/22/2007 8:15:18 AM

    I do not believe that we should legalize gay marriage. In fact, I say BAN ALL MARRIAGE! All couples should have the opportunity to be civil unionized in the eyes of the law. Marriage, however, should be done on your own --- sanctioned by your church, your synogogue, etc. Let's get back to the separation of church and state that made this country a safe place for everyone!

  • Posted By: lexiwords @ 12/22/2007 8:14:17 AM

    First accept the fact that we are NOT fre in this country! For the past 25 years the US Constitution has been eroded in the name of "the war on druga" and / or "National Security" to the point where it is merly a peice of ancient parchment
    filled with quaint ideas.


    Second----What happened to these women is a double tragedy. A horrible death in the most statistically unfounded and odd circumstances. How would anyone
    even the most safety conscious person have thought of drowning in your own
    basement? No one asks for or deserves this. For those of you who disagree please read more about the LOVE in the Bible and stop taing perverse enjoyment from the hell fire and brimstone punishments.
    Third--Partners are partners. After 10 years that should have been recognized and honored regardless of legal documents. It is right and just. It is not for anyone to question how or why Ms Strong could quit her job---we don't know insurance bequests or other financial information nor should we.It isn's our business. What is our business is both freedom and the right to structure our lives as we see fit.

    Those same people who condemed specifically homosexual promiscuity (largely ignoring hetrosexual promiscuity as evidenced by the lack of loud protest marches) seem to NEVER be satisfied. Now, that movement toward marriage for these folks is on the table and monogamy is the order of t he day these same holier than thou people are still not satisfied. It must be soooo very nice to have nothing else to do with your life than be vested in the sex lives of others. And remember being a peeping tom is a sex offense---If you're able to report on another's sex life than you HAVE probably committed a sex offense to get that information. If not then your imaginings are just that Fantasy and obviously enjoyed fantasy or you wouldn't be so obsessed.

  • Posted By: jch18130 @ 12/22/2007 8:08:18 AM

    A sad story, to be sure. But will it "re-shape the Gay-Marriage Debate"? I don't think so. Wishful thinking on the part of the author, methinks. Let's say the doctors had immediately let this woman visit her partner, or that the funeral director let her make all the arrangements, would that have made her happy? She suffered a terrible loss and is now the poster-woman for what remains a highly controversial topic (a la Cindy Sheehan). Sad stories like this are not enough to overcome moral and/or rational objections to gay marriage. Tugging at the heartstrings is not honest debate. This sad story is no more convincing to those opposed to gay marriage than a giant billboard with a dismembered fetus is to someone who is pro-choice.

  • Posted By: Raleigh27609 @ 12/22/2007 7:59:32 AM

    It blows my mind how some posters are so blinded by a religious or political agenda they refuse to acknowledge the tragedy or the results of the tragedy.

  • Posted By: patunka @ 12/21/2007 10:37:07 PM

    Im really proud of you, Charlene Strong! There is not many people that will make a stand but Iam glad that you have come this far.Don't settle for any less. It really sucks that this tragedy has occured but only the Lord knows why! Just keep on moving forward your almighty in our eyes!! One of your readers : Melissa

  • Posted By: Watcher58 @ 12/21/2007 5:52:09 PM

    Wait a minute here, just how does a death have anything to do with Gay rights? The death was and is a tragedy, but that in and of itself should not color the issue in any way. Many people loose loved ones and then get shafted by the funeral costs, but are they represented? No, they are told that they should have had insurance. Gays want rights, but in the process, they want to re-define laws and societal structure to fit their lifstyle regardless of what ramifications it has upon other people. theey march in parades after the true causes, but only do so to showcase their percieved rights.
    it's just too bad that that otherwise intelligent people place themselves above those who believe in the Bible, and that, in fact, would defend the Koran before they would God's word, and that anything considered belief in the Judaic set of beliefs in tainted by "political correctness' and censured by the medias.

    • Posted By: openmindedinfl @ 12/21/2007 7:28:26 PM

      The biggest issue most people have with "Judaic" set of beliefs is people like you are very prejudice, and lack the ability to keep an open mind about issues that have absolutely nothing to do with them. The women in the story was not looking for assistance to pay for the funeral, she just wanted to make arrangements for the burial of her wife. The funeral home would not allow her to do so because of the laws against same sex couples.
      Secondly, most people have a problem with "Christians" because they often jump to conclusions and make rash decisions, before looking at the entire situation. (Posting a comment about the site being biased, then posting a retraction)
      Furthermore, Islam means peace, just like Christianity has crazy fundamentalist, so does Islam. The vast majority of the Muslim population is very peaceful people. They chose to live their lives by the Koran, which they believe is the word of God. If you took a little time to research the religion you would see that Islam follows many of the same rules for Christianity except believing that Jesus was the son of God. (Isn???t that the same thing that Judaism doesn't believe in?)
      We are all one human race. All people deserve the same rights, regardless of their lifestyle.
      A true Christian knows that only God may judge, so who are you?

  • Posted By: Watcher58 @ 12/21/2007 6:05:17 PM

    I take back my comment about this site being biased, as I now realize that they delay the posting and that is why my post didn't show right after I refreshed my browser page. Thank you for being unbiased and not censuring my post! :)

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