A Laureate for Kids (It’s OK to Laugh)

What do you tell everyone who asks you how to become a successful kids' book writer?
I tell them don't even attempt to do what I did because it's just a weird story. Like grow up with five brothers and teach for 10 years, then get a master's in fiction writing from Columbia—which entitled me to paint apartments in New York. No, if you think you've got a story for kids, go read to kids that aren't your nephew or your niece, and you will know within three minutes whether you have a story. They'll either fall asleep or start throwing things at you or pick their nose—or be engaged.

How do you write funny?
I devour all kinds of funny reading and funny television and funny movies. I just like funny stuff. To write funny is very tough. It really just takes honing it. Which is why I'm glad I get to go out and try my stuff on kids.

Like a standup comedian?
Yeah. You can try things out with kids' books, and you should. That's where "Stinky" came from. I just read that stuff coast to coast. And same with "Cowboy and Octopus," which just came out. You read it to yourself—and then you take it out to an audience. And sometimes it's just a matter of one word that makes all the difference.

Your JSWorld.com site says you get 75 cents per hardcover and 15 cents per paperback. Is that true?
That's pretty close. I tell that to kids all the time. That's up there with, "Where do you get your ideas?" One kid asked, "Do you have a real job?"

Your site lists some true questions you've gotten. I like, "We had to write to our favorite author, but Roald Dahl is dead so I am writing to you." Do you write back to these kids, or would it take so much time that you could never finish another book?
I make sure to write back to kids. Having been a teacher, I know how much work they put into that. With my audience in particular, a lot of them just crazed boys, you know it took this guy an entire day of agony to write that. I feel it's my duty to at least send them back a postcard to say, "Got your letter. So glad Roald Dahl is dead."

As a kid, you enjoyed "Green Eggs and Ham," "The Carrot Seed" and "Go, Dog. Go." Are these your top recommendations (besides your own books) for getting kids interested in reading?
That's a nice mixture of some of the books that turned me on to reading, and also they're the kinds of things that still hold up that will connect with kids. There's some classic stuff that's still spectacular. And every year new great stuff comes out.