To Be Gay — And Mormon

It is devastangingly sad that this individual could not reconcile this but if you look back over the last thousand of years or so, there are literally thousand sof people (religious or not) who lead celibate lives either by choice or not and while it is a struggle and a sacrifice it can be done. It is unfortunate that he could not look at his suffering as a sacrifice to God and as a result be more resolute and at peace with it. Hopefully he has now found that peace.

Rest in Peace dear Matis. Religious dogma can thrust it's self so deeply into the abyss of one's psyche that for some minds the only seeming release from the subjugation and institutional repression is suicide. CHOOSE LIFE ... TREAT DEPRESSION ... Get FREE from the indoctrinators. I am an X X X Mormon ... I am a gay man ... I am reconciled from the grip of the spiritual opiate that first informed my communal religious ideology. There ARE better paths to travel ...

THIS STORY IS SO SAD. BUT I HAVE TO BELIEVE HE SHOULD HAVE DEALT WITH HIS DEPRESSION FIRST. WHEN I WAS MARRIED AND BEING ABUSED I CHOOSE DIVORCE EVEN THOUGH IT FROWNED UPON IN THE CATHOLIC RELIGION. I WOULD NOT HAVE CHOOSE SUICIDE. THATS WHY I THINK THERE MUST BE MORE TO THE STORY.

@mormonsoprano, yes the Mormon Church did fail these young men. What use is treatment for severe depression when the cause of that depression is not going to be addressed? When people cannot reconcile their spiritual beliefs with accepting who they are, it can end with dire consequences. The answer is acceptance, not pretense of acceptance in the hopes of "curing" someone of something (sexual orientation) that is inherent to that person's being.

I also need to add that the LDS treatment of its gay members is very arbitrary. One ward bishop treats a gay person with phobia and disdain while another will be very Christlike and supportive. Stuart Mattis's friend and bishop, Bishop Robert Rees is an incredible exception to the rule as he is truly the kind of pastor whom Christ envisioned to lead His sheep. Unfortunately men like Bishop Rees are rare in the LDS Church. Even he was not able to shield Stuart from the tyranny of the majority found within the LDS culture that still believes that there is some element of choice in a person's orientation. They also teach that if you fall in love with someone of the same gender (even kissing and holding hands) then you are on the slippery slope to serious transgression and sin. They have a very difficult time dealing with the curve ball of the same sex marriage changes found in other countries and in Massachusetts. That is one of the main reasons the LDS Church is fighting same sex marriage so forcefully and with such vigor. When all is said and done it is bigotry pure and simple to disallow two adults who want to marry and make that commitment. It is very wrong to force this kind of bigotry onto our society at large including people who are not religious and who do not believe the same way.

I am looking at the posts below and seeing yet again the pure denial and the dogmatic posturing that is going on with many Mormons who will not take their leaders to task on these issues. I grew up in the LDS Church and was inundated with the sea of ignorance about homosexuality within the Mormon Church. The most terrible damage that was done to me as an individual was in reading and internalizing the horrible things that were written about gay people in pamphlets like To Young Men Only and To The One both written by LDS Apostle Elder Boyd K. Packer and the chapter of President Spencer W. Kimball's book The Miracle of Forgiveness entitled The Crime Against Nature wherein Elder Kimball calls homosexuals "perverts". Obviously President Kimball was ignorant about these issues and indeed wished to help but due to this incredible ignorance and fear of learning the truth about these issues gay and lesbian Mormons (and their families and friends) suffered immeasurably. The LDS Church will still not take these documents out of circulation but have continued to print and distribute them. I received a copy of To The One from my Bishop only 2 years ago. Don't try to tell me that the Church is applauding gay people in their leadership positions, as celibate gay Latter-day Saints. Far too many Mormons just don't get it. They have absolutely no clue about what we go through and the fact that we only wish to be treated as equals in all aspects of life and that includes the ability to date and to find someone of our own gender to spend the rest of our life with. That is a God given blessing and it is one that the Church will one day have to face sooner or later.

This article is laced with inaccurate information about Mormonism in order to demonize it. I actually have two friends who are gay and Mormon. Is it difficult? Yes. Do they choose to remain Mormon? Yes. Is that the church's fault? No.
But this article was meant to stir up people's emotions to hate Mormons. The author grossly misrepresented ideals of the Church and has some hate towards the Mormon church. There are gay people of many belief systems that surely share this story, and with a creative author (such as this one who turns Mormons into monsters), any one of these stories can have a hideous culprit. All of these stories are unfortunate, but this is poor journalism to blatantly suggest that ???Mormons did it.??? Please. This article must???ve been written in by a freshman in college.

I hope California Mormons can find it in themselves to quietly vote "No" on Proposition 8 this November.

The task of any religion is to teach us whom we're required to love, not whom we're entitled to hate.

What a moving and sad story. Blind respect for authority...sooner or later, the consequences are always tragic. My God, how the very institution he should have been able to count on for solace and understanding failed him.