To Be Gay — And Mormon

 

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"Mother, Dad and family. I have committed suicide," Matis's note began. "I engaged my mind in a false dilemma: either one was gay or one was Christian. As I believed I was Christian, I believed I could never be gay." Stuart Matis struggled his whole life to resolve that dilemma. The people who dressed him for burial were struck by the sight of his knees, deeply callused from praying for an answer that never came.

© 2000

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Member Comments

  • Posted By: jtprice61 @ 08/08/2009 5:17:43 PM

    It is devastangingly sad that this individual could not reconcile this but if you look back over the last thousand of years or so, there are literally thousand sof people (religious or not) who lead celibate lives either by choice or not and while it is a struggle and a sacrifice it can be done. It is unfortunate that he could not look at his suffering as a sacrifice to God and as a result be more resolute and at peace with it. Hopefully he has now found that peace.

  • Posted By: DSHprintmaker @ 08/07/2009 7:06:11 PM

    Rest in Peace dear Matis. Religious dogma can thrust it's self so deeply into the abyss of one's psyche that for some minds the only seeming release from the subjugation and institutional repression is suicide. CHOOSE LIFE ... TREAT DEPRESSION ... Get FREE from the indoctrinators. I am an X X X Mormon ... I am a gay man ... I am reconciled from the grip of the spiritual opiate that first informed my communal religious ideology. There ARE better paths to travel ...

  • Posted By: MNSETT @ 08/07/2009 5:04:37 PM

    THIS STORY IS SO SAD. BUT I HAVE TO BELIEVE HE SHOULD HAVE DEALT WITH HIS DEPRESSION FIRST. WHEN I WAS MARRIED AND BEING ABUSED I CHOOSE DIVORCE EVEN THOUGH IT FROWNED UPON IN THE CATHOLIC RELIGION. I WOULD NOT HAVE CHOOSE SUICIDE. THATS WHY I THINK THERE MUST BE MORE TO THE STORY.

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