Living With Arthritis

"You walk like a duck," my husband said as we walked across the Target parking lot. "That's right, but I'm walking," I replied in a determined, almost defiant voice.

The day was cool, windy, damp and cloudy. It was my first day out of the house after recovering from another rheumatoid arthritis (RA) flare-up, which had kept me indoors for a week and a half. Jim, my husband, had offered to use the handicap sticker, the one he had insisted I get six years ago. But I emphatically stated that I would walk the distance from the regular parking spots to the store. The walk would be good for me.

I've lived with the disease for 10 years now. At first there were sore feet and shoes that wouldn't fit and stiff, achy fingers that needed coaxing. I ignored them. After observing how my parents dealt with arthritis—my dad had severe osteoarthritis and my mom had rheumatoid arthritis—I believed I could keep moving despite the condition, and handle my arthritis with dignity.

The pain started with my feet, but I didn't think much of it. I was on my feet a lot, so it seemed natural that they would start hurting. But on a Saturday morning in May 1998 I began to feel severe pain. It was my youngest son's prom day, and I woke up in the middle of the night with pain in my shoulders, wrists, hands and feet. It was so bad that I couldn't even lie in bed and spent the rest of my night sitting in the recliner. (An action I have frequently repeated since then.) On the drive to the doctor's office later that day, reality hit. I knew I had RA, just like my mother. Sure enough, I was officially diagnosed with the disease two months later. I expressed tears of anger, frustration and grief. This disease was going to be a challenge.

In 2001 my knees hurt so badly that I could barely walk. I took sick leave from my job as a third grade teacher and never returned. My arthritis had forced me into early retirement. Since then I've been able to enjoy some travel, writing, reading, exercising and volunteering. But throughout it all, there's pain and constant fatigue.

When RA patients complain about their illness, few understand or acknowledge their suffering. Every adult has experienced a painful elbow, knee, finger, or some other joint that interferes with physical activities. But people can be dismissive of our chronic problems because RA isn't life-threatening and may seem less serious than some other diseases. Those with rheumatoid arthritis, especially those with severe symptoms, are often silent and solitary sufferers.