I found your posting very helpful. I have not been able to get a proper diagnosis from the specialist. My general practitioner feels I have RA. I have a lot of pain in both sides in the joints. I have chronic fatigue among other symptoms. I just want to get the right medications to try to keep the RA from destroying my joints any further.
I also recently found out that I have kidney disease.
Why is it so difficult to get the right diagnosis?
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I've learned a lot about my illness in 10 years. RA has become one of my personal definers, but I know it's in my control to keep its pain from possessing me. My pain has taught me that if I concentrate on it, it will consume me. I will become depressed, angry and self-pitying. I will not notice when others express their suffering—my husband, children, family, friends, and even strangers. I have also learned to respect those who have spent all or nearly all their adult lives with the disease. I admire the courage of the children who suffer from juvenile arthritis. They have a special kind of strength.
Perhaps old age is going to be a long, hard haul. Nevertheless, I believe I may have found the secret of growing old gracefully. It's not letting illness and pain control us so that we stop caring about others and discredit their suffering. My life's goal is to accept others' pain and suffering as well as my own. In the end, I may still "walk like a duck" or not walk at all, but I'll have done it with grace and dignity.
Weibel lives in Long Grove, Iowa.
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