She’s Gotta Have It

I am a male who is divorced, and I did not discuss my feelings with my ex-wife because I got tired of haveing them thrown back in my face during an argument. My ex wife would not touch or even look at me if she were angry, then after days of being told what a worthless piece of dirt I am, then she wanted sex. There was no way I was going to go to bed with her after all that she had said. I was willing to take it when she was ready, because we worked seperate shifts, I worked during the day and she is a nurse who worked primarily at night.

The psychologists are idiots. When will anybody get it? Sex and love have nothing to do with each other. If they did -- the horniest couples in the world would be couples celebrating their 50th anniversary.

This article pertains to a lot of married couples that do not believe that ER can be treated. Under a Doctors care any male with this problem can be treated. The degree of treatment would depend on present medical condition.

My problems started after taking medications for blood pressure control. It has something to do with the effect on blood vessels that control erectile function. For me the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak!

Being a male, 55, this problem began when I was 46. I was working 12 to 16 hrs a day with the commute from the new house, had problems at wor k and came home tired. The wife and young child would be out shopping while I was working. I came home too tired to be interested. My interest became on weekend am, hers in the pm. She claimed that any man who "needed" the use of sex toys, sexy outfits, etc. was abnormal. She stated that all men are ready for it all the time, unless they are "queer". If you are not doing it 3 or more times a week you must be doing it with someone else or have a perversion.
Natuarally this led to a divorce, etc.
But what I did learn is that some women are schooled in the idea that men have tohave sex multiple times a week and are always ready. They regard any admission of something else as an excuse for extramarital activity.
as an aside before someone brings this up, over 20 years I gained 4 inches in the waist, she went froma size 8 to a size 16

I just wished these commercials for erectile dysfunction would explain what it is, so my 5 year old would stop asking me. BTW, anyone had an erection lasting over 4 hours?

I am 30 yrs old and my husband is 36. Our problem started 6mos into our relationship when we found out we both had HPV. We do not know which one of us came into the relationship with it but he thinks it was him. We did not have sex for nearly 9mos after that because he felt ashamed or dirty or something. I never have understood and it still effects are relationship to this day. I would say on avarage that we have sex maybe once per month. I have always been a very sexually active and unrestrained person. Now after nearly 3 years of subtle rejection I have feelings of not being attractive enough because for that 9mos I didn't realize the reason he was rejecting me was because of him and not me. In that period of time I gained 10 to 15 lbs and now he sometimes says that it is my weight that effects our current sex life. So now when we do have sex I am not adventerous because I am worried about what he thinks of my body. Deep down I feel that I am still attractive but it is hard when we are in bed to remember that. I have lost 10lbs recently and it dosen't appear to have affected him at all. We also have the problem that we just are not interested at the same times. He is a middle of the afternoon person and I am a night time person. Since we moved in together 2yrs ago we have had sex before bed no more than 3 times. I find this really annoying since I was used to men that were pretty happy to have it whenever it was offered and I was happy to oblige whenever they wanted. It also takes him forever to ejaculate so sometimes we will have sex and he won't even come, which again makes me feel like I am doing something wrong. I have thought of trying to find something that would help him *** a little faster but everything on the market is made to slow the guy down not speed him up.I love him very much but I just don't know what to do anymore. Maybe I will look into these books to see if there is some advice.

I think that we have lost touch with ourselves regarding intimacy because there is a great demand on each of us to succeed by any means necessary. Men are opt to want to provide for their families and to maintain a certain status can be stressful, thus taking away from the thought of having sex and wanting to nurture that portion of the libido. We, as men, aren't robots which you can turn a switch on and we're "Up, and running", nut we need to wind down and feel ourselves before we can think about having mad sex. Today's emphasis is primarily on kids, jobs and taking care of our homes....ultimately the bottom line is being totally successful. Losing weight and looking 20 years have nothing to do with how we react, men can still perform as bald headed, big belly people. We have to not get so caught up in the images that television slays us with and try to keep it real that the only thing which is constant in life is......"CHANGE".

Some of you may be thinking I'm probably overwieght,slobby and unkempt. Not so, I weigh 15 pounds less than when we go married. I keep my self in good shape, he's the one with the belly and sucessively larger pants and shirts. I look at least 10 years younger than him. I never leave the house without having showered, done my hair and put make up on. The sad thing is he's only 4 years older than me.

After ten years of antidepressants, anxiety medication and a dependency on painkillers he won't admit to, I'm the one with the libido in this house! I never thought at age 55 I wouln't be having sex anymore. Occaisionally Viagra helps but there's no spontinaity and it rarely occurs to him. After 20 years of a vigorous sex life (I never once turned him down) we've got zip. If it wasn't such a bad sin I'd have an affair with a much younger man. I don't have a lover anymore I have a roomate. It makes me very sad.

After tem years on an antidpressant, anxiety medication and a dependency on pain killers he won't admit to our sex life is zip;.. I never thought at age 55 I wouldn't be having sex. I'm the one with the libido in this house! Sometimes Viagra helps but there's no spontinaity and it rarely occurs to him. After 20 years of a vigorous sex life ( I never once turned him down) I'm the frustrated one. If it wasn't such a bad sin I'd have an affair with a younger man. I don't have a lover anymore, I have a roomate.

Comment: I think she should recieve joint custody of her kids. I think this proves to much attention is bad for someone. I think that maybe she does not know how to be a mother and We should have more resources to poeple like this not someone going to her home and taking care of her kids but someone teaching her how to love and care for someone and to help boost her self esteem as a woman not treat her like a child and do it for her. That is what is wrong with alot of poeple no one every loved them and never taught them anything and when they become adults they will automatically screw up because they do not know the right way of how to do it and it is not just with celeberties this happens to alot of people and i feel it is a unfair system that everyone deserves the same chance in life.....same medical....same schooling....some choices.......I feel we should be more focussed on helping the people rather than lable them............Not everyone has some one to love them and show them....how to be a adult....some people are not even shown daily living skills.....

On a one week honeymoon, it happened TWICE. I spent the week telling him "Its OK to do it now, we're MARRIED!!!" The argument lasted the duration of the 14 year marriage, and it started on the honeymoon. He was a missionary kid, so premarital sex was an issue, although it did happen a few times. I had no idea it would be so bad. However, he knew I wouldn't cross the line to sex outside of marriage. Years of counseling didnt help and later he said he just didnt want to deal with it anymore. It took a long time to heal the hurt of thinking I wasn't worthy. Now? I'm dating a man who enjoys it as much as I do. Wow. What a difference!!

This article touches on relevant cases that occur also with long term non married couples, which I am currently have been for over 7 years. Being the woman in the relationship, I wondered why we didn't fit the stereotype of where my partner has to beg me for sex rather than the other way around. He is in his late twenties and I recently found out he has been taking Cialis, however I know ED is NOT a problem, but this article helps to show me other ways to look at this and how to be more considerate to other perspectives to the matter.

I agree with low testosterone. I wish we funded men's health equally so we could find out why men in the developed world have lower testosterone on average than men in lesser developed countries. It could maybe tied to environmental conditions is some cases. I know that they have found that water treatment plants don't filter out estrogen for example- and with all of the birth control pills being pee'ed out they have found male fish in waters by the plants losing their maleness. Estrogen also shows up in a lot of plastics. I would like to see these kind as well as real research psych studies, not just pop psychology books by people trying to get air time on The View.

There has been no mention of low testosterone. This also can be a reason men lose interest.