She’s Gotta Have It

I was quite surprised to see this article. I believed others had the same issue but never did I ever want to touch on it as casual dinner conversation or a topic with the guys. Yet Im surprised at no moment did the article ever mention the possibilty that the dis interest is the result of rejection (sometimes years of it) by the wife in the beginning of the marriage. After always trying to earn points with her through affection, kisses, flowers, flirting throughout the day and even calling her and slipping a few phrases or conversation of "guess what Id love to be doing now?" etc Im the one not interested anymore. Of course when she does approach me Im ready as ever, but its just easier going down south or the tropics and finding a beauty and getting a heck of a bed workout really really needed. Not to mean I dont love my wife, I couldnt even think of parting ways with her it just dosnt seem worth taking the initiative anymore.

Well it didn't take long for the comments to start taking sides...lol

There a some truths here in the fact that a constant negative attitude towards day to day events has a profound affect on either partners willingness to make love, man or woman. Sex is usually the end result of a series of good positive feelings and when a partner berates his/her spouse with negativity, it certainly is not conduscive to an environment where they will want to have sex.

Many times men in particular, but women also, feel they need to absorb the negativity and stay positive, and over time this can lead to the resentment the article talks about.

The non-adventurous spouse syndrome the article refers to can be easily rectified by simply telling your spouse what you want, but then what to do if they would rather not? Honestly, I think this may be why more couples are moving into the DINN era of their relationship. If you are happy together AND faithful to each other, who is to say what is right or wrong.

"more than 40 percent of men said they're angry at their wives" says it all. Criticism and denigration are not an aphrodisiac, contrary to what women seem to believe. I wonder how many of these men spent the first 10 years of their marriage with the wife turning them down. Eventually it builds resentment and gets to be more trouble than its worth and the man finds an alternative outlet. But let the women have some unfilled desire and she wines about it.

With all due respect Lauren Day-- those websites are filled with just as many, if not more, married women doing the same thing. I see that choice celebrated on the circuit by the Gail Sheehy's, the stories in Marie Claire, Glamour et al, and propped up as Girrrll Power on Lifetime and Oxygen. Ironically we villify men for it. Can you tell, I am also unimpressed with the tone of this article. Why do men have to use the tools and language of emotion and expression that women do? Oh that is right, silly me, it is all about us.

"The uninterested male is too quick to put the blame on his partner" Translation- what a man says is the reason is inherently incorrect and secondary to the wants of the female partner. I am glad there is actually attention being placed on male sexuality, but where this article goes awry is in the tone- which states and says men are culprits and don't understand. Perhaps it is the efeminization of psychology which looks at these issues from only a pro female perspective that is awry and doesn't understand. Good topic, biased, velled misandry interpretation wrong approach.