Yes To Love, No To Marriage

I completely understand, and it's a great article, but... this is the second article on the non marraige issue I've heard from Newsweek. If you're perfectly at home with your decision that's wonderful. But why the need to justify your decision to anyone? I certainly don't write 3 page articles on why I decided TO get married. It's what was right for me. If you don't want to, cool. No one has a right to know why you made personal life decisions. End of story. But I can't help but feel like you're trying to convince yourself it's ok, not just us....

That's right, anti-establishment rebellion is certainly not what America was founded upon, nor is individualism. It's ever American's God-given duty to bow down before the (protestant) God, as well as the almighty dollar, and that wonderful idol, the flag. These comments make me laugh (and cringe).

Why would we take the time to celebrate our birthday with a ceremony and the downgrade the eternal pledge and promise between a man and woman? The ill conceived notion that making a pledge before God and our loved ones makes no difference is sad to say foolishness. Marriage is a oneness that exists because it is recognized by God otherwise you are just dating.

We are a man & woman and WE say Yes to Love, No to Marriage. We want God in our relationship, but not the government nor the church. Wewant to profess our love and lifetime commitment to each other. It's between us and God. We don't need anymore.

And, our friend who will perform the commitment ceremony will pronounce us......Happily Unmarried.

We never commit to anything any more. We are a society of serial monogamy, not lifetime commitment. Say what you want, sister, you're commitment is lightweight next to taking the risk of a marriage. Spare me.

I was just having a discussion with my girlfriend about this.
We too are committed to each other, but don't want to get married... it just doesn't carry the same meaning for us, as it does for other people.
We tend to avoid the issue in conversation with others, because many people tend to be very unaccepting of the idea, which is reflected in some of the rude and hateful comments found here.
When people find something that works for themselves, whether it be marriage, a hobby, or a philosophy, they feel that everyone else is somehow missing the boat.
I have Rock climber friends who think that anyone NOT rock climbing just doesn't know what life is all about.
But Rock climbing, like marriage, may not be right for everyone.
For me and my girlfriend, it's encouraging to see that there are others out there who feel the same as us.
It's validating... in the same way it's validating for anyone to hear their own voices reflected by other people.
Thanks.

So essentially she IS still getting married---just not through the state (as gay people have been doing for years). The idea that this is somehow rebellious is absurd! If rejecting the trappings of marriage---the license, the white dress---while still having a ceremony and celebrating her relationship publicly---seems rebellious to her, it just shows how deeply entrenched she is in our wedding-obsessed culture.

Bravo to You! I'm glad you have a life-partner to share life's concerns with. The marriage ceremony is outdated & supremely patriarchal. True love does not need a ring, name-change, white dress & etc. It does need committent to a relationship, which sounds like Jeff & you have. Enjoy life & each other!

This woman may be bipolar. If you have a stand to take then take it. To say marriage is "not for me" is fine, but lets stop at pretending she is doing it because of some sanctimonious drivel such as the kind she spewed out here. Marriage is a commitment, a bond not easily broken, a symbolic joining of 2 people for life. If she was sure she was going to be with Jeff for life then why not marry? Who is this hurting? What rules are being imposed on her? I am married and no one is directing me on how to love my wife. I married her because at the end of my time I want the records to show that we had a historic bond, traceable by more than just word of mouth, a legacy to pass on to my children and all generations to follow. The actions of parents form a cycle that is passed down and splintered like gossip. Be careful what cycle you begin, it may not end for you the way you had hoped and may send your offspring wandering off lost and alone. I am willing to bet this woman's cycle did not begin with parents in a loving, honest marriage. She sounds like she is wandering lost and alone in her convoluted convictions. (oh wait, she brought Jeff there too).

This is ridiculous. What I am about to write is true - whether anyone likes it or not.

This woman is not rebelling against society - she is rebelling against God because HE is the one who created marriage, one man to one woman, and it is Jesus Himself who taught the sacredness of marriage. THe problem with society is NOT the divorce rates. Divorce is just a huge symptom of a huger problem -- selfishness and lack of committment. She doesn't have to be so independant minded - perhaps she is proud, and created walls over time. She should do this Jeff a favor, because obviously he wants to get married - she should do the unselfish thing, and let him go.

If there wasnt anything wrong, there wouldnt be a debate about an issue. Read "Mere Christianity" sometime and get some insight.

Pamalina needs to buy a vowel ( get a clue ). Just because you're in love but don't want to get married doesn't you bisexual or homosexual. It just means that you are comfortable in your relationship. I've been married and divorced 3 times and I'm still strictly heterosexual even though given the way I've been dumped on by my 3 ex-spouses I should probably be homosexual. Instead I have chosen to be alone so I don't have someone abusing me verbally or emotionally.

Comment: Bonnie sounds like a bisexual woman who won't get married because she wants to have her cake and eat it too (no punn intended).

Bonnie sounds like a bisexual woman who doesn't want marriage because she wants to have her cake and eat it too. (no punn intended).

Bonnie sounds like a bisexual woman who won't get married because she's wants to have her cake and eat it too (n punn intented).

planning "daylong" event - how self-centered is that? this is bridezilla without a license. who gives up an entire day off for a wedding? these people can't be that central to so many people's live. I am guessing that watches will be checked...by hour three of this "daylong" deal.

Commitment ceremony? Sounds a lot like a wedding!

Part 1 Marriage why not!

Bottom Line, weather you are for same sex,hetoro,
or bisex, or whatever. Marriage is the next step above
"just seriously dating". And if one is not willing to
make the next step up in a relationship don't belittle
those who do. Although you may feel its not right
for you, that doesn't mean we should go changing its
significance and ridicule those who believe in it for
any reason weather that reason is religious, legal,
social or commercial. If marriage was not an extention
of this world...And think about what I am about to say!
Would it be filled with people not pre-exposed to any commitment
values just as early humans were not hip to electrcity or
running water. The answer is NO!

Just because divorce rates are climbing that does not mean that
marriage has lost its significance. Have you ever thought that
society is changing...every year the number of working spouses
(like my husband and I) are away from home and their children putting
more hours in the office on the job than they put into their familes
weekly. Its not that marriage is not the social norm, the social norm
is not the norm. During the times of the early 1900's most
families consisted of single incomes and now most hoseholds have
dual incomes. Marriage is whatever you want it to be but mostly
its a commitment between to adults. You seem to agree with that
by the words of your article. Marriage consist of many things,
not just the wedding dress,religion, rings, cake, kids, and husb/wifey
title. If thats what you think marriage is then the problem is
not marriage its your views on marriage. Its alot deeper than
the material,commercial "TV depiction" but you probably wouldn't
know that cause...You're NOT married. For you to say your relationship
is no different than others, How do you know that? You act as if its
superior.