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PERSPECTIVES

Barack Obama hasn't passed any bills. There's not a major bill I know with Hillary's name on it. John [Edwards] has only passed four bills. They're all about post offices—I mean, literally.

Delaware Sen. Joe Biden, on the relative inexperience of the leading Democratic presidential candidates. Biden dropped out of the race last week after a poor showing in Iowa.

Brian is trained in sports medicine and [he] knows the difference.

Lawyer Earl Ward, explaining that his client Brian McNamee injected only steroids and human growth hormones into former New York Yankees pitcher Roger Clemens, and not, as Clemens said during a "60 Minutes" interview on Sunday, lidocaine and vitamin B12

Let's not assassinate Bilawal Bhutto because he's hot, OK?

The name of a new Facebook group created after Benazir Bhutto's 19-year-old son was appointed as her successor atop the Pakistan Peoples Party. Almost 700 people have joined the group.

Mr. Zhang Bin is having an illicit relationship with a woman other than me.

Hu Ziwei, wife of popular Chinese TV sportscaster Zhang Bin, hijacking a Beijing Olympics press conference to denounce her husband for infidelity

This feels good. This feels just like I imagined when I was talking to my kindergarten teacher.

Illinois Sen. Barack Obama, after his win in Iowa's Democratic caucus, making a sly reference to an earlier exchange with the Clinton campaign about the candidates' longstanding presidential ambitions

It's a joke.

Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf, at a press conference last week, denying that his country's military and intelligence agencies were behind the killing of former prime minister Benazir Bhutto

Don't say, 'OK, Bloomberg is criticizing A or B or C on either side'—it's all of them.

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, accusing the current crop of presidential candidates of "chicken-in-every pot promises" that "are an insult to the American intellect"

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Send us a topical quote from your local media and we'll run our favorite submission - along with the name of the reader who sent it - in next week's magazine. To be eligible, your quote must be reported in the last seven days, and you must include its source.

Marc Lennon of Baltimore, Md., submitted:

Maybe he's accurate, I don't know.

Penn State football coach Joe Paterno, after a Texas A&M pep-rally leader said that the 81-year-old coach needed "a casket" because he was "on his deathbed"

Quotation Sources:

New York Times, AFP, Wall Street Journal, AP, Youtube (3), Financial Times, Newsday, AP (2)