Home Schooling: More Than A Million Kids And Growing: Can It Work For Your Family?

But while home schooling is winning converts, it still has plenty of critics who worry that millions of youngsters will grow up without adequate academic or social skills. ""Kids need to be successful in three overlapping spheres--at home, at school and with peers,'' says Phoenix pediatrician Daniel Kessler, a member of the American Academy of Pediatrics developmental-behavior group. ""Home schooling compresses all that into a single setting that can be very difficult for kids.'' The National Education Association, the nation's biggest teachers union, backs much more rigorous regulation. Only 37 states now have statutes that set standards for home schooling, says Christopher Klicka, executive director of the National Center for Home Education, an advocacy group. About half of those demand some kind of annual testing or evaluation; the rest require only that certain subjects be covered within a specified time frame. Many educators say it's the government's responsibility to make sure kids get what they need to become productive citizens. ""After all, if home schooling fails,'' says Ronald Areglado of the National Association of Elementary School Principals, ""we pay the freight'' when a person ends up on public assistance or in jail. Areglado has good reason for his concern; as a principal, he saw a home-schooled kid who got no instruction at all from his parents.

But home-schooling parents say they are better equipped than ever before to give kids what they need. ""What they're doing is reinventing the idea of school,'' says Patricia Lines, a senior research analyst for the U.S. Department of Education. The Internet and sophisticated new educational software help fill in academic gaps. If they need more inspiration, they can browse through bookstore shelves filled with how-to books and subscribe to dozens of newsletters and magazines with titles like Growing Without Schooling that are packed with ads for home-schooling textbooks, videos and software, and seminars (chart). ""There are much better, more sophisticated curriculum materials available,'' says Kathi Kearney, an expert in the home schooling of gifted students at Iowa State University.

These tools have transformed the conventional image of a home-schooling family: a couple of kids with workbooks open on the kitchen table under the supervision of Mom or Dad. Not only have the new generation of home schoolers moved beyond workbooks, they've also moved well out of the kitchen and often join home-schooling cooperatives, where parents take turns teaching different subjects and get together for group field trips. Jean Forbes's home-schooling theater group in Virginia is more than just a chance for kids to enjoy center stage. History and even science lessons are part of the program. When the girls put on hoop skirts for ""Little Women,'' they talked about how children played a century ago. When they used dry ice onstage in a play, they talked about the science behind the special effects.

Home-schooling parents are also turning to a surprising source for help: public schools. In the wake of lawsuits in many states by home-schooling parents, more communities are opening the doors to school libraries or computer rooms. Some districts have ""part time'' options that allow kids to sign up for a few courses or participate in extracurricular activities like the football team or the band. Oregon even allows students to register for courses at different schools, so that a teenager could take advanced biology at one high school and art at another. Almost every state now has a home-schooling coordinator, and some, such as Washington and Iowa, have established resource centers for parents--giving families a chance to get something in return for their taxes. In California--where the troubled public schools have pushed thousands of parents into home schooling--many families sign up for the independent-study program at their local public schools to get books and other materials. A teacher monitors the child's progress, usually through monthly visits. Jon Shemitz, a computer-programming consultant, enrolled his son, Sam, 10, in independent study through his district near Santa Cruz. During the teacher's monthly visits, Shemitz says, she ""fills out the paperwork, sits around and chats and allows us to participate in a few programs like field trips.''

Despite these new resources, no one really knows how this new generation of home schoolers will turn out. There are no reliable long-term studies, but advocates say home schoolers generally do as well as other kids on standardized tests (chart), and some are accepted into the most elite colleges. Harvard has even assigned an admissions officer, David Illingsworth, to review applications from home schoolers. ""Ten years ago, if you didn't have a diploma we didn't want you,'' he says. ""Today we're always willing to look at different kinds of credentials.'' Other colleges have mixed views of home-schooled students. In one recent survey of admissions officers, only 20 percent thought that parents were better able to motivate their children than teachers. But 83 percent agreed that high-school students could be adequately taught at home.

At every age, a strong parent-child relationship is far more important than any particular curriculum, experts say. Those bonds can be stretched when the whole family is together 24-7. Kids have to respect parents as teachers and still love them as Mom and Dad--a difficult task. Parents don't even have the luxury of time off while their children are in the classroom; they are always on duty. It's so tough that some parents give up after only a year or two. ""I've seen it tear families apart,'' says William Coleman, associate professor of pediatrics at the University of North Carolina.