Personal History

Delicate Relations

By the late '70s, her greatest battles won, Mrs. Graham had become an institution in Washington. At her house in Georgetown, she gave dinners for statesmen, politicians and media figures. But keeping peace with the White House was not always easy:

I ALSO FELT STRONGLY THAT IT WAS PART OF MY JOB TO keep up with people in and out of office. It was all in my day's work to get to know those in government and help them know journalists. Many of my dinners involved members of various administrations over the years and could be described as political, although they were always nonpartisan, or at least bipartisan.

I have been friends with many presidents from both political parties, but any relationship, even an old one, can grow strained when you become--as I did--a symbol of a major newspaper and magazine and the target of presidential displeasure. This occurred with Johnson, Nixon, and Bush, but, curiously, not much with Reagan. Ford was professionally friendly. Except for entertaining the Clintons on Martha's Vineyard when they were there on vacation, I have had little contact with them;they have been polite but are of a younger generation, so it's perfectly natural.

Those who come to Washington as president and who haven't lived here and known the city (as had, for example, Jack Kennedy, Lyndon Johnson, and even Richard Nixon) seem to have a skewed idea of socializing between people from the press and people from the administration. There are those in both groups who feel that we shouldn't see each other except in working situations. Though I recognize that this issue of friendships or relationships is a touchy one, I take a different view. A hands-off approach may be best for those who are covering people in the government, but for a publisher I feel sure openness is best. I consider it the role of the head of a newspaper to be bipartisan and to bring journalists together with people from government. I think that an easy relationship is constructive and useful for both sides: it helps the publication by opening doors, and provides those who are covered in the news with the knowledge of whom they can suggest ideas to, complain to, or generally deal with. When people don't feel easy enough to call, they just sit there grinding their teeth. I fear unspoken anger. Especially, people who may disagree on politics must still be able to communicate, and it's crucial for all of us in the press to listen to all sides.

I had met the Reagans several years before they came to Washington as president and First Lady. Truman Capote told me he had gotten to know them in the course of some research he was doing on death sentences, in which he had become interested after writing ""In Cold Blood.'' ""Honey, I know you won't believe me, but you'd really like them,'' Truman told me in his falsetto voice. Truman was right: we got along well and began a long friendship that puzzled many people in Washington.