Facing A Problem Status Couldn't Solve

I was figuring out how to start my own school for Allegra and others like her when one of the schools that rejected her had a change of heart. When I saw the 30 other students in her school, my own heart sank. They all looked and acted far more disabled than Allegra--at least that was my perception. Yet when Allegra took her place among them her troubles began to disappear. She had found a space in her life where she was comfortable.

Like my father, I never stopped hoping there was a cure, but over the years I came to realize it was time to forget my problems and focus on helping others who were in the same situation. Surely there was another mother at another phone booth somewhere, hearing that her child had been rejected. Since 1989 I have been chairman of the National Center for Learning Disabilities, an organization that has helped thousands of children like my daughter.

Allegra has laid most of my early fears for her future to rest. She is now 27 and works as an assistant to a teacher in a Head Start program. She lives on her own in a small town in upstate New York. She completed her academic years in special schools and has realized her childhood dream of being a figure skater. She now competes in adult nationals across the country. When Allegra glides effortlessly over the ice, I see her free of all the frustrations that constricted so much of her life, and I feel so proud of what she has accomplished.

For the millions of parents with a child like Allegra, the most important thing I can tell you is this: neither status nor wealth matters as much as your support. The simple fact is that you--the parent--are the most powerful advocate your child will ever have.

Ford lives in New York City and is writing a book about her daughter's struggle.

© 2000