The great thing about "American Idol" is that it always represents, you know, America. And there's one thing that all Americans are worried about: cutbacks. So isn't it time that the show cutback as well? Don't worry--I'm not suggesting that we send Ryan Seacrest to Wal-Mart for a new wardrobe. But maybe it's time that the judges face some judgment. With the addition of Kara DioGuardi, there are now four of them at the "Idol" table, which is silly, because it's always been a three person job. So tell us America, which American Idol judge would you layoff?
Kara is the newcomer, with most likely the smallest salary, so we probably shouldn't get rid of her. Plus, she's been surprisingly effective at pulling her weight on the show--even if she's svelte. She's funny and bitchy and dresses like Anne Hathaway after a "Devil Wears Prada" makeover.
Simon is the reason the show succeeds, so you can't get rid of him, no matter how much he acts like a pain in the ass. And Paula Abdul earns her paycheck, for the simple reason that you can't help but watch every time she's on screen, to see if she'll finish her sentence or topple over into her Coke cup on live TV.
So that leaves us with Randy Jackson. In the last few seasons, his comments have been, well, pitchy. Remember how many times he reminded us Jordin Sparks was only 16? And with Kara's addition to the show, Randy's even less necessary. Do you honestly remember anything he said from this week's episodes? This is shaping up to be a damn good "Idol" season--the singers really can sing, even the annoying one, Tatiana del Toro--but the first live telecasts went over by a few minutes, because the judges comments were so long. We hate to do this to you, dawg. But in the words of Chris Daughtry, you're going home.