Today's Jolt: You're FBI-red!, a Hanford Collapse, Ginobiliiii!

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FBI Director James Comey, left, was fired by President Donald Trump. Jonathan Ernst

A smart sprint through today’s biggest (or cringiest) headlines:

1. You’re FBI-red!

President Donald Trump fires FBI Director James Comey. For the record, former President Richard Nixon once fired an independent special prosecutor, Archibald Cox, but not his FBI Director. Comey was speaking to bureau members in Los Angeles when the news broke; he thought it was a prank. 

2. Pravda

The most bizarre sentence of the termination letter Trump sent Comey includes the line, “While I greatly appreciate you informing me, on three separate occasions, that I am not under investigation….“ That reads like a line that was directed to parties far beyond the halls of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. On an entirely unrelated note, the White House announced late Tuesday night that Trump would meet today with Russia’s foreign minister, Sergey Lavrov, in the Oval Office. 

3. Radiation Vibe

RTS15W57 Hanford site Handout

A tunnel at the Hanford nuclear waste site in Washington collapses, bringing to mind the opening scene of a Michael Bay movie and potentially exposing workers to lethal amounts of radiation. And who knows what effect all of that loose plutonium and uranium may have on wildlife: For all we know, it may have created a sub-species of man-eating deer. 

4. Deer Chomps on Human Remains

In what is believed to be a first, researchers at a human decomposition farm in San Marcos, Texas, spot and photograph a deer chewing on human remains. Deer are known to be herbivores, but then again everyone in Texas enjoys ribs. 

4. Ginobiliiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

RTS15XG8 Ginobili USA TODAY SPORTS

Tim Duncan has retired and Tony Parker suffered a season-ending injury last week, but Manu Ginobili, the third member of the San Antonio Spurs’ Hall of Fame-bound squad, is still suiting up. Last night the Argentine blocked James Harden potential game-tying three in overtime from behind as the Spurs won Game 6 against the Houston Rockets. Ginobili, 39, even dunked for the first time in ages in the 110-107 win.